


Oddballs and Scarred Palms

by Voice_of_Mischief



Category: Undertale
Genre: Desperation, I'm lazy so uh, PTSD, and they gain.. feelings?? for each other, i suck at everything, idk - Freeform, reader is a scientist intern that ends up working with gaster, self harm mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-14 00:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 33
Words: 58,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5723119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Voice_of_Mischief/pseuds/Voice_of_Mischief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're the oddball of the group. At least, of the group you're in. You're 'eccentric.' You're 'air-headed.' You're 'out of it.' You're 'a bit of a nut.' You're most certainly not the kind of person designed to be in this profession. You most certainly weren't planning on it, either. But they don't need to know that. Your reasons are your own. You stick to your work, the worst that can happen is you get a little hurt. So what?</p><p>So what happens when you have to share your work with someone far, far more experienced? And which is worse, the fact that he's showing you up, or the fact that you feel... something for him? </p><p>What the fuck even is something? And why does it make you feel more out of it then usual? Fuck feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blowing things up is a profession, right?

"Shit. Fuck! Ow! God damn it!" 

You hissed, pulling your now burned fingertips away from the hot beaker. You frowned at it as if it was to blame for your own carelessness. You examined your hand just as a familiar cart was pushed into the room, a gray humanoid behind it. 

Yes, about... a year and a half? maybe even two years? ago, monsters appeared from the underground in waves. You thought they were really neat and longed to know how they worked, but that wasn't exactly what you were working on getting your degree in. You'd met Doppelgänger shortly after they appeared and you had hit it off, both working in the same wing and seeing each other often.

He was reading over a clipboard. "Alright, I managed to get a little more of those cell samples you wanted from Dr. Frederick down the hall. The things i do for you." He sighed, shaking his head in his usual grumpy manor, then turned to you. "Holy shit, you've done it again!" 

He rushed to your side in a snap, examining your fingertips with both obvious concern and obvious frustration. Two more arms appeared from his shoulders and reached into a nearby cabinet to grab a first aid kit as he turned your hand over in his primary two.

"How did you manage it this time?"

You shrugged, watching his fussing in a resolved way. "I reached for the beaker thinking it was my coffee mug, then had to toss it back and forth so it wouldnt break and get whatever I managed to make every where."

He sighed, giving you a scowl as he popped open the first aid kit open. "You'd think you'd be a little more vigilant, considering this is about the millionth time I've found you like this."

You half grinned at him, shrugging good-naturedly. "Hey, maybe it's karmas way of getting back at me. Better to just let it happen."

He shook his head, rubbing a cooling salve over your skin. "That mentality is going to get you killed."

"Ah, but you'll miss me." 

"Hardly, fucking moron."

"Hey, hey, don't wrap up my fingers like that- you know I hate it when I can't feel anything."

"Just look at them, you moron!"

You looked down. The burns had managed to reopen the nicks and cuts scrawled the soft tips of your fingers, and little beads of blood had started to form. You shrugged as you always did. "Eh. They'll close up."

"Or they'll get infected and you'll lose your fingers. What then?"

"You could always be my fingers."

"Fat chance." He sniffed, but snapped the box closed anyway and put it back where he found it, returning to his cart. "Keep pressure on it."

"Hey, don't relay my own advice back to me. You ain't even human."

"No, but having to patch you up every other hour, I've picked up a few things."

"Fight me." You turned back to the beaker and carefully grabbed it with mitts. "Hey, that's something I've been wondering. In all this time I've known you, you've never seemed like the science-y type."

"Same to you."

"Fight me. What pulled you into the business?"

He paused, gently lowering a tray of cell samples onto the metal table. "Down underground, I was a pretty, uh, sick kid. Ill, I mean. They act like monsters don't get sick, but they do, it's just... of a different nature. The good doc did a... risky procedure, but managed to save my life. I was in a coma for a while, but when I pulled through he had me stick around for a while until he was sure I was okay." He paused again, reading a label. "He was like... an uncle, almost. He got into an accident, but he, uh, got better after the barrier opened up."

He snapped his fingers suddenly, turning to you sharply. "That reminds me. He's moving into this wing, so I-"

"I hope you're not talking about me. Goodness knows what you'd be saying." A voice suddenly rose from the doorway, speaking in a voice you didn't recognize. You looked up in surprise, blinking at the figure there. It was a skeleton- or, that was the first impression you got. Two cracks split his face, one curling up from right eye, the other curling down from his left. He was tall, practically filling the whole doorway with his thick cloak, over which was a brand new lab coat. 

Doppelgänger grinned like you'd never seen him do before. "Course I'm talking about you, Doc. Who else would I be talking about?"

So, this was the 'good doc' you'd heard about. Doppelgänger had mentioned him often, always speaking of him fondly and affectionately. Who were you compared to this? You glanced down at yourself, realizing you looked like a utter mess. In your struggle with a certain evil beaker, you'd managed to tip over your mug and get coffee all over yourself.

"Shit ass fucking dicks." You hissed out, quickly pulling off your lab coat and examining the simple shirt beneath it. Yeah, that was ruined, too. "Fucking evil ass beakers, out to get my damn ass." You huffed, dragging a hand over your face before turning back to the duo still by the door. 

The skeleton was looking on with concern. Maybe it wasn't best to use your colorful vocabulary as of right now.

Doppelgänger sighed, walking over to stand beside you. "Doc, this is my..." He gestured to you as if looking for the word. You grinned and threw an arm over his shoulder, mushing your cheek against his.

"I'm only his greatest most amazing friend ever!"

"... annoying coworker." He finished irritably. 

The skeleton chuckled, seeming amused. "Well, it's good to see you've made friends above ground."

You gave Doppelgänger one last exaggerated mush of affection (which, for the record, felt weird since he was kind of semi-gooey), then walked up to the skeleton and stuck out your hand. He took it, making you realize for the first time his hands were gloved in some fancy ass rich people gloves. He was also very warm. In a way, it made you self conscious of your scar-littered hands. If he noticed the bandages wrapped thickly around them, he didn't say anything.

"Hey there, I'm your new obnoxious coworker intern, _______. Welcome to the west wing. If you need anything, you should probably ask Frederick down the hall, not me. I literally screw everything up. Doppler can affirm that."

"They do." Doppelgänger called, wiping up the remains of your mess.

"Thanks, bud."

"Any time."

The skeleton chuckled and ducked his head in an oddly regal way. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I am W. D. Gaster, but Gaster works just fine."

"Well, W. D., I'm not very afraid to say that feels a bit too casual, but I might maybe use that when I'm... more... used to you? I don't know, I'm not good with words."

"They're not good with anything else, either."

"Doppelgänger, be nice."

"Nah, he's right." You shrugged and turned back to your table. "Hey, Doppler, do you think it'll explode if I drop a match into it?"

"You're acting like a high school chemistry student rather than a medical major."

"Okay, but do you think it will?" 

"Don't know, don't test it. I've got to show Doc around the place, don't die while I'm gone."

"Is that a challenge?"

He smacked the back of your head. "Don't die. See you later."

With that, he guided a very amused doctor skeleton out the door. You scooted over and grabbed the door before it closed, listening as they disappeared down the hall. 

"They're very interesting."

"Yeah, they're not too bad. Bound to make it a challenge to share a lab with."

"I think they will make things... interesting, for sure."

"As much of a klutz they are, they're actually pretty smart. I think you'll find them useful, if nothing else."

The skeleton's chuckle finally faded beyond your hearing and you ducked back into the lab, putting a hand to your chest. 

"He actually cares about me. I'm so touched. I'll have to annoy him twice as bad tomorrow."

With that, you poured a small amount of the previously boiling substance into a Petri dish and lit a match.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what I'm doing. Some one slay me. I had this idea earlier and since I like writing Gaster, I decided to just wing it.
> 
> Also all I've done on here since I joined is make reader inserts. I feel no shame, oddly enough.


	2. Awkwardly paced chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I know absolutely nothing about science or labs or anything, so don't count on anything being at all accurate. Second, I have no idea what I'm doing, so expect the pacing to be awkward and rushed.

The day after the new doctor on the block moved into your wing, you're not sure what you were expecting. Whatever that may have been, it wasn't what you got. 

You were whistling a simple tune as you came down the hall, quickly flashing your I.D. to one of the doctors nearby before pushing the lab door open. Your whistling abruptly stopped when you saw Dr. W. D. already standing over one of the tables, Doppelgänger sitting up beside him, looking much happier then he had ever been with you. You felt a rise of jealousy, but quickly crushed it as you loudly entered to announce your presence.

The skeleton looked up. "Ah, hello!"

"Hey, dude, what's up? How's it going, Doppler?" It was odd to have your usual routine broken by this new, much more experienced intruder, but you tried to keep it as usual as it should have been.

"Oh, you know, just enjoying the quiet till you got here."

"Fight me."

"Please, do not fight in the lab..."

"Figure of speech. Also, we could take this outside." 

Dr. W.D. looked very concerned for a moment before Doppelgänger waved you off. "Don't worry about it, that's their form of affection."

"Fight me."

"See?" 

That was just about the entirety of the interaction you got with your only friend for the rest of the day, which was... off putting. Every time you looked over, all you saw was the soft spoken skeleton chatting away with your friend as if it was the most natural thing in the world. You shook off your feeling of neglect, reminding yourself that they had known each other longer and needed to catch up and soon things would be as normal as they usually were.

That was a lie, apparently. 

They continued to be buddy-buddy for several weeks, until the point came where as soon as you entered, having finished your classes for the day, all you got was a brief hello which was all you returned. It made you feel very small. Very insignificant. It made you wonder if Doppelgänger was only hanging out with you because he had no one else. 

It didn't help that the Doctor was quick to (good-naturedly) point out your mistakes, seeing as he seemed to have a hawk's eye for it. While you were prone to bad results and wasted materials, he was very efficient. You were beginning to wonder if the higher ups had paired him with you in hopes of you learning from him.

Two and half weeks had passed, and you were, oddly enough, concentrating harder then ever, probably because you had nothing else to do. You checked the labels on everything twice, then diagnosed the condition of the cells in your Petri dish, before carefully mixing a few things together. You swirled them carefully, then took a dropper and plopped a single drop onto the cells.

You waited quite a while, cleaning things up, then checked how they were doing under the microscope. The solution had done the opposite of what you had expected- it was speeding up the duplication rate. You hissed under your breath, pent up frustration bubbling to the surface as you grabbed an empty beaker and raised it as if to smash it against the far wall. 

You held it there for a moment, then lowered it with a forced sigh. Come on, you were better then this. No temper tantrums. For their sake. You ran a hand over your face, a small part of your mind glad you hadn't acted on impulse and smashed the beaker as you most certainly would have been charged for it. 

What were you thinking, that you'd just magically get it right the first time? There were people much smarter then you, much more prepared, much more experienced trying to do the same thing you were with little success. You were just a joke. Why were you even trying? Were you just chasing some dream conjured up in the heat of a moment of vulnerability? Probably, at this point. 

You were just a big, fat joke.

You jumped as a hand fell onto your shoulder. You turned to see Doppelgänger standing there, looking surprisingly concerned. Over his shoulder you could see the skeleton looking on.

"Hey, you okay? You look ready to kill. In fact, recently you've seemed pretty... determined to get something done. Didn't turn out as you expected?" 

You shifted your gaze to the dish sitting carelessly on the table. "Nope. Don't worry about it. Just... school, and stuff." You flapped a hand. "You know. Usual stuff. Sorry if I freaked you out."

"I'm just glad you didn't bust that beaker. It would have been my job to clean it up." He chuckled out, releasing your shoulder.

"I could clean it up, but that would mean you'd end up patching up my hands again. Which do you prefer, broken glass or gross bloody human fingers?" You stuck your tongue out at him.

He made a face. "Neither, thanks."

You laughed. "Hey, wanna go to Grillby's tonight? I'm buying." You'd wanted to invite him for a while, but hadn't had the chance, or rather the guts to interrupt his chats with the monster doctor.

He narrowed his eyes at you. "Only because this means free food."

You shot him a wink, doing finger pistols. "You gotcha."

"Dear human, are you alright? I could not help but notice..." Dr. W. D. loomed up behind Doppler, wringing his hands. He looked almost worried, which was silly, considering you hardly knew each other. 

"Uh, yeah, sorry bout that. I don't normally almost throw stuff against walls. Just... a tad frustrated with this, that's all." You shrugged, flicking the Petri dish. He looked at it curiously. 

"What is it you've been working on? Perhaps, I could be of assistance."

You paused, turning to the semi-cleaned mess lying around your space. "Nah, don't worry about it. Just something... for class." You rinsed a beaker, then picked up a sponge. "Nothing big."

He nodded, though you noticed his gaze flick over the rows of bottles strewn around before he went back to whatever he was working on. Doppler helped you out, putting bottles away when they were just out of reach. 

"Hey, that's something I've been wondering. What is it you're working on? In all the time I've known you, you never seem to actually get anything done."

"Just something tricky for class."

But that was a lie. If the school knew you were using their resources for anything but, however, you would get the axe immediately. Besides, it was stupid. They would scoff and laugh and then tell the school, and then you'd lose everything you'd been working towards. So little lies wouldn't hurt. You'd been lying for years now, after all.

Over the next few days, you and Doppler found more time to hang out and generally be dicks to each other, which was nice. It was almost like things used to be, which you appreciated. He started getting called to the east wing, so you ended up being left with Dr. W. D. for extended periods of time, during which you wouldn't often talk except to ask the other to pass something.

In a way, it was almost companionable. 

"Ouch! Shit, fuck!" You spat out suddenly, making the Doctor jump. He looked over as you cradled your hand and uttered curses before quickly swooping to the other side of the room. 

"Dear human, are you most alright?" He moved almost hesitantly closer as you shuffled through some things in the cabinet before reappearing with cotton swabs and large band aids. He moved much more quickly when he saw you peeled off your gloves, revealing a large cut going across the top of you hand and slicing through other already existing wounds.

You checked them out carefully, wincing as the water washed over the exposed, soft inside of your skin. "Yeah, I'm fine, it's not too bad. Could have been lots worse." You gave it one last rinse, then carefully folded a few band aids across the both new and still healing cuts going across your hand, hardly noticing the now concerned skeleton looming over you. 

"You're hurt."

"Yeah, it kind of happens a lot..." You made a face, shoving the unused items back into the cabinet. "I swear, everything in this place is out to get me. That or I'm karmas bitch. Or maybe I'm just a complete moron. Probably all three, actually." You shrugged, turning but jumping when he was standing almost uncomfortably close, hands half posed as if he wanted to help. "Hey, don't worry about it. Normally Doppler helps me out, but sometimes he tends to get tired of me fu- screwing up all the time." You moved back to what you were doing, washing your own blood off the scalpel. He followed, soon moving to whatever he was doing.

"Are you sure you're alright? I can cover for you if you wish to leave and see someone for it."

You laughed. "Aha. No, but thanks. It's not even that bad, to be honest. Looks worse then it feels. It happens all the time." You shrugged. "You get used to it."

"You must be more careful. You may get seriously hurt the next time an accident happens." He almost sounded genuinely concerned.

You shrugged. "Eh. Getting what I deserve, I suppose. Best to just let it happen. Thanks, though, for being concerned about me, I guess." 

He looked at you a moment longer before turning back to what he was doing. "It's no trouble."

"Hey, you mind talking while you work?"

"Not at all."

"Can you tell me embarrassing stories about Doppler when he was just a tiny little baby goo monster?" Obviously not for blackmailing reasons.

"Oh, most certainly." He smiled almost mischievously. "He was always getting into a mess of trouble. You see, once he even wanted to join the royal guard..."


	3. Karma's bitch, basically

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still know nothing about labs or science. I apologize.
> 
> Also I'm SU trash

If you were honest, you'd admit this was never your intended profession. This was never what you really wanted. This was not what you were 'made' to do. You had absolutely no idea what you were doing, and it showed. The idea of doing this for your whole life made you uncomfortable, even. 

But, hey, you'd blown the money to get this far. Might as well finish up what you started, even if it left a bad taste in your mouth. Even if it meant wasting your already pretty pitiful existence. No skin off your nose, anyway.

You started to think about this more and more as the days went on. It was obvious this- science in general, even- was what the Doctor was born for. He was in his element. In a way, it made you feel very small. Very silly. Very stupid, very...

Very out of place, to be honest. Not that this was news to you, really, it's just... With him there, it made it all the more obvious. You began to drift back into the dark, drift away from your own work- the only reason you stayed, anyway-, drift away from everything you were trying to do. The things you'd wasted a year fruitlessly working to achieve. 

Instead, with that familiar ball of heavy lead in your stomach, you ended up partnering up with Dr. W. D. much more often. It came to a point where Doppelgänger didn't even have to work much any more. At least, in a sense, you were being useful. 

"Human? Human, are you alright? ________?" An obstruction suddenly waved in front of your vision, making you jump.

"I didn't do it!" 

A sarcastic chuckle came from your left. "Geez, you're even more out of it then usual." 

"Fight me, Doppler. What is it? What did I do this time?" You turned to the familiar duo, looking between them. The Doctor chuckled, shaking his head before turning back to whatever he was currently working on. Apparently, he'd been hired to work on the affects of magic in human (and various other species') cells. It didn't make any sense to you, but little did around here, so, eh.

"Nothing, dear human. I simply noticed you seemed to be... spacing out quite a bit."

"Sorry, W. D.. Got a lot on my mind. Or what's left of it." You shrugged, reclining back against the table. You snapped your fingers as Doppler went to retrieve something from a cabinet on the far side of the room. "Hey, Dip-Dop. Grillby's tonight. You gonna be there?"

He hummed, reaching up well above his head to grab at a bottle, only to put it back when it wasn't what he wanted. "That time already?"

"Yeah, well, I've got a tab to pay, any way. I could always use some spare cash, besides."

"Pardon my asking, but what is this about Grillby's?" 

"Oh, every so often I go to Grillby's and do a little something to make some cash." 

The Doctor blinked, then quickly hunched back over his work, cheeks tinting darker. "O-Oh, I... I see."

You raised an eyebrow at him in confusion, then slapped your knee and laughed. "Oh gosh, no, not like that. I play a little. Like, guitar. Sing pretty poorly. I think the only reason they give me any cash is because they pity me. Or maybe that's just what they think human music is supposed to sound like. I have no idea."

"Ah! Ah, yes, that, um, that makes sense." He looked to be on the verge of a panic attack.

"Geez, Doc, get your head out of the gutter." Doppler barked out a laugh as he came up again. Dr. W. D. only got more flustered. In a way, it was adorable.

"Don't worry about it, W. D.. No big deal. I did kind of word it pretty poorly. Just another thing I'm a master at: fucking up wording." You shrugged, giving him a smile. He still looked embarrassed, but didn't say anything more about it.

For a long time, it was just a companionable quiet.

"Dear human, I have a question."

"Shoot."

"What is it you work with? I can't but notice you've put it off as of recently."

You paused, having been spinning slowly in one of those silly spinny chairs you loved so much. "I, uh, try out a few tests on different kinds of cells. Mostly human ones. Some times my own, to be honest, but don't let Frederick know that. Actually, don't let anyone know that, they'd probably kick me out."

"I see. Simply to gather data?"

"Mostly. Hey, Dippin' Dop. You gonna be at Grillby's or what?" You were quickly growing uncomfortable, so you did your best to change the subject. It worked.

"Fine, but only because you nearly got your ass kicked last time."

"How was I supposed to know that dick had friends coming to pick him up? He was a jerk anyway, I don't regret a thing." 

 

"Hey, everybody, how's it going?" You strolled slowly around the bar, strumming your guitar. "I hope you didn't miss me too much. Fuck you too, Jerry." Grillby shot you a look and you shrugged meekly. "Anyway, any requests tonight? No? Eesh, tough crowd." 

You thought for a minute, then picked up a upbeat tune. 

"How about a classic? Don't give me that look. If you don't request, don't complain about what I pick." You cleared your throat and tried to get into the rhythm of the song for a moment.

"Life and death and love and birth,  
And peace and war on the planet earth.  
Is there anything that's worth more  
Then peace and love on the planet earth?

Life and death and love birth-"

No one joined in. They heard it enough times to be tired of it. You made a face at them.

"And peace and war on the planet earth.

Life and death and love birth and,  
Life and death and love birth and,  
Life and death and love birth,  
And peace and war on the planet earth. 

Is there anything that's worth more,  
Is there anything that's worth more,  
Is there anything that's worth more  
Then peace and love on the planet earth?"

A few newcomers clapped but everyone else just rolled their eyes. You stifled a sigh. That had been their favorite. They had never tired of it. To see people so... short-sighted, it kind of wore you down. 

You played throughout the night, for several hours with breaks between. Doppelgänger eventually had to leave, having one of his own classes in the morning, leaving you to keep playing for a few bucks each song for several hours, alone. Eventually, as the crowd dispersed, you packed everything up and headed for your apartment.

You didn't get very far.

You were just turning the corner away from the block when a group of people you didn't recognize pounced on you. One grabbed your shirt collar, then two gripped your arms. You stared at the figure in front of you- obviously human, but obscured by shadow and harsh street lights. 

You managed a weak grin, putting up your hands in surrender. "Uh, sorry, pal, I'm, uh, not a monster, if that's what you were, um, hoping for." 

Whoever it was seemed off put for a moment, then the shadows shifted to form an angry scowl. It seemed they would settle for a human instead.

 

You came back to the lab with a bandage just below your right eye. They hadn't beaten you too badly; a few punches here and there, a kick or two, nothing serious. The Doctor seemed to think otherwise.

"Oh my goodness, what happened? Are you alright? Do you need medical assistance? Should I call someone?" He had rushed over the instant you appeared at the door, hands posed as if to do something. You blinked up at him, half forgetting about the injury in the first place.

"Oh, this? Some thugs were hanging around the bar, waiting for a monster to come out and they got mad when they got me instead." You shrugged. "I'm okay, really. It's nothing."

"You really must be more careful. I fear for you at times." He reluctantly backed away, looking concerned.

You shrugged again, but winced when you pulled a sore muscle. "Best to just let it happen."

"Why do you say such things? Surely, it is best to fight against the bad in the world."

You paused. That was a question you'd never gotten before. "Well, you know. Like, karma. I mean, I've done some pretty bad things."

"Dear human, I don't-"

"Hey, what's with the congregation over here? What's- oh my god, I can't leave you for two seconds without you getting into some sort of trouble, can I? Come here, let me see the damage."

You sighed, but complied, sitting up on one of the tables as Doppler grabbed his usual first aid kit. "Just some thugs outside the bar. Wanted a monster and got me. Come on, don't freak out over it. It's no big deal, really." 

"No big deal my ass." Doppler sighed. "I should have stayed longer, damn it."

"No, you shouldn't have, then they would have beat you up in my place."

"Good."

"No, not good, who would be my best friend if you died?"

"Are you implying that I'd die just from a couple of drunk idiots looking to punch a monster for no good reason?"

"It's an exaggeration. But seriously, if you got beat up in my place I'd cry. And then I'd cry all over you. And you'd be all covered in gross human tears."

"Um, ew."

"Exactly."

He snapped the first aid kit shut, scowling at you. "Some times I can't believe you."

"I can never believe me."

He slapped a hand across his face, letting out a groan before stepping away. "You really need to take your own safety more seriously."

"I second that." W. D. finally spoke up.

You shrugged, sliding off the table. "Eh. I was born to pay bills and die. In the mean time, I'll get hurt. That's life."

Doppler shot you a strange look while the Doctor just blinked at you as you slid past to the microscope he'd been previously using. 

"So, whatcha up to today, Doc? ... I'm pretty sure they're not supposed to be that color."

"Oh, I was, ah, testing some healing magic on plant cells. It has wielded questionable results."

"Yeah, I can tell. What kind of plant?"

"Common dandelions."

"Hm." You pulled away. "I've always liked those." You turned away and began pulling out your own equipment, despite knowing you wouldn't use it anyway. 

"The plants above ground are strange to me."

"Really? What are the ones below ground like?"

"They're made of magic, like the rest of us, simply without the soul."

"Magic plants. Never thought I'd see the day. They sound pretty rad."

"I think you would particularly like echo flowers."

"I bet I would. Need any help on plant anatomy? I know the basics from, like, sixth grade." 

"Yes, actually, I was curious about the structure of their cells."

"I gotcha covered, basics wise."

No one mentioned your partially black eye for the rest of the day, though you got some strange looks from passing doctors in the hall. You waved them off, not seeing what the big problem. Honestly, karma should just be left to do its thing, especially to you.


	4. Nicknames?

Enough time has passed for the mark to fade from your cheek. So much time, in fact, that it is that time of the year. You wake up later then usual, not intending on heading to class, and make your usual rounds before grabbing your guitar case and slinging it over your shoulder before you leave the apartment.

You stop by the local flower shop, where an enormous goat monster is manning the counter and ask him for his best batch of white roses. He complies, complimenting you on your choice in a deep, low voice. You slap a twenty on the counter, telling him to keep the change, then head out.

You meet their mother at the entrance. She's crying, softly, this time. You give her a brisk hug, which is kind of awkward considering the bulk of the guitar on your back and the flowers in your hand.

She smiled at you weakly. "They would have been proud of you."

You smile back, but don't bother to correct her. "Thank you. Here, go get a hot chocolate or something." You press a ten into her hand, insisting so much that she eventually complies and goes off, giving you one last 'Goodbye.'

You settle on the bench and fluff up the roses. "Heya, pal. I know you were never one for roses, but the ones in the shop looked awfully nice today. They didn't have any sunflowers this time, anyway. Sorry 'bout that." You smile, laying them down next to the ones dropped off by their mother. You chat for a while, updating them on the status of your experiment, which there isn't much to update about, telling them about your two new friends (did the Doctor count as a friend, or just a co-worker that tolerated your existence?), and everything in between. 

When you ran out of things to talk about, you pulled out your guitar and started a slow tune, falling into the pattern of it before starting.

"Let's go in the garden;  
You'll find something waiting,  
Right there where you left it,  
Lying upside-down.

When you finally find it,  
You'll see how it's faded-  
The underside is lighter   
When you turn it around.

Everything stays,  
Right where you left it.  
Everything stays,  
But it still changes.

Ever so slightly,  
Daily and nightly,  
In little ways,  
When everything stays."

With that, you reluctantly packed up and left. You stayed in your apartment for the rest of the day, cleaning up your usual messes and throwing out old food and making a list of things you needed to get at the store. All in all, it was simply a calm, cool day in which to relax, if somewhat bittersweet.

 

When you came back to the lab the next day, you were surprised to see your usual duo huddled close and talking quietly. On instinct, you lingered in the doorway.

"Doc, I'm sure they're fine."

Low murmuring from W.D. you didn't catch. Doppler sighed.

"Listen, if they're not here in five minutes, I'll call them, okay? If they don't answer, I'll go and find them." W. D. looked unconvinced, but nodded anyway. "Hey, Doc. I've been wondering... Do the others... know? Do they remember, or...?"

A pause. "From what I've gathered, their memories have been... partially restored. Spending periods of time around them should restore it in time. Until then, they'll be... disoriented by my presence, so I must take it slowly."

"Alright. Just wanted to know."

You felt very uncomfortable eavesdropping on something so personal, so you stepped away for a moment before flinging the door open loudly and immediately reclining on one table like a damsel in distress. They both looked at you in surprise, to which you smiled and wiggled your fingers at them before righting yourself.

"Hello." You propped yourself up with one arm, dropping your bag carefully to the floor.

W. D. let out an audible sigh, putting a hand to his forehead. "Goodness, human. You... gave me a fright." 

You quickly straightened up, cocking an eyebrow in both confusion and concern. "I did? Should I not slam the door so loudly? Oop. Sorry, W. D.."

Doppler shook his head. "Nah, he was just freaking out because you didn't show up yesterday and he was worried you'd killed yourself in some freak accident or something."

W.D. seemed to blush uncomfortably. "Well, can you blame me?"

"No, no, it's cool, thanks for being concerned." You stooped, pulling out your laptop. "I mean, yeah, I get it, I'm kind of an utter moron. But, no, I wasn't hurt. I just..." You shrugged. "Needed a day off."

W. D. nodded, looking relieved. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Me, too."

"Ha ha, very funny." Doppler quipped, rolling his eyes. "I wish I didn't have a friend where I had to freak out every time they showed up late."

"Ah, but that's why you love me."

"It's really not."

"Aha! So you do love me!"

"Christ."

You plopped down into your spinny chair, computer in your lap. You kicked off, doing a slow spin as you booted it up. "Hey, W. D., do you know anything about the human brain?"

"Um, not exactly."

"Dipper Doppin', how about you?"

"What do you think?"

"Shit. I don't have any human friends I can ask either."

"Why the sudden interest, if you don't mind my asking?"

"I have a paper to write on the placebo affect and the brain's reactions to it. Or something like that. Something about the brain, I know that for sure."

For a few hours, it was a companionable quiet, chit chatting every so often as you tried to focus on the dumb paper. The Doctor was attempting to mingle magic with a plant growth product to see if it was safe and possible to cause a plant immediate growth. Doppler came and went, delivering things up and down the hall before things slowed down. 

You eventually got wrapped up in the dynamics of brain chemistry and what regions of it were most affected by different placebos, spinning gently as you began to actually concentrate. You first started to hum, then to whisper under your breath, then to whistle as you tapped away at the keyboard.

Suddenly, a chuckle drew you back to the present. You looked up to see W. D. smiling down at you from where he was standing at one of the counters. You blinked, feeling heat crawl to your cheeks as embarrassment bubbled up in your stomach.

"W-what?" You asked uncertainly, suddenly very sheepish. Some part of your mind questioned why, the other part was too wrapped up to notice.

"Oh, nothing." He chuckled again, smiling a smile that looked suspiciously like a smirk. "You simply reminded me of the songbirds that appear in my yard at times." 

You shrank into your seat, looking away. "Sorry. I tend to do that whenever lose myself. Just tell me to shut up next time."

"No, no. It was quite nice. You certainly have a talent for melody." He patted your head kindly, if somewhat cutely.

Your face grew hot and you spun in the chair nervously. "Well, uh, thanks."

"For Pete's sake, just give each other googly eyes already. Any more mush and I'll turn into a pile of goo." 

You promptly threw a balled up piece of paper at Doppelgänger, who easily caught it and tossed it back. "Shut up or I'll smother you in over the top love noises."

"Um, no thanks, I'll just leave." With that, Doppelgänger stepped out of the room, quickly flagged down by Frederick.

You snorted. "Dork."

W. D. chuckled, turning back to his odd concoction. You watched apprehensively for a moment, then jumped up and grabbed his arm. He jumped, half posed to pour something, directing his attention to you in surprise.

"Uh, don't add that next- the acidity will sky rocket, and if you spill it it'll sting like hell. Trust me, I know. It might also kill the plant. Add something basic first." With that, you pulled your hand away. Somehow in the process, you managed to spill something over his own hand.

All over his glove. 

You panicked, quickly up-righting the tipped over bottle and trying to find some way to fix this particularly bad fuck up as you grabbed his hand in your own. "Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh, I'm sorry. Here, let me just, uh-"

"Wait, I-"

You tugged off the glove before he could pull away, only somewhat surprised to see a gaping hole where his palm would be. He quickly tucked it away, looking nearly as embarrassed as you felt. 

"I apologize, I should have been more careful, I never meant for you to-" He waved his still-covered hand, which you had noticed he did when he was on the verge of panic. You quickly grabbed his arm and pulled on it until you could grab his uncovered hand in your own.

"Hey. Hey. Hey, look. Look, look. It's okay. Okay? You're alright. Um, here, look." You let go of his hand and focused on your own, peeling off the band aids and wraps before holding them up for him to see. Scrawled over them was a mishmash of scars, long and short, thin and thick, pale and dark. You smiled sheepishly. "See? Looks, it's okay. I get it. We can- we can have messed up hands together, alright?" 

He looked flustered for another moment before taking one of your hands in his own and tracing particularly bad scars. For a while, you stood there like that as you both calmed down. 

"I apologize. I was being careless."

"Nah, it's fine. You're fine. I'm the one who should be sorry. I should have just said something."

"No, no, I was at fault. I should have..." He waved a hand.

"No, here, let me rinse that glove off before the smell gets stuck in the fibers or something." You pulled away, ignoring him as he reached out a hand to stop you as you plucked up the still damp glove lying on the counter top.

"You don't have to do that."

"I know that. I want to, though. You deserve everything nice anyone can do for you." You shrugged, turning the facet on warm. "I mean, nice people deserve nice in turn, right? You deserve a lot, then." After a moment, you patted the glove dry the best you could before returning it to him. He took it carefully, watching you through a soft gaze.

"You are too kind, songbird."

You flustered at the sudden nickname, but he almost didn't seem to notice. "Well. You know. I mean, kind in turn to kind, right? You've been pretty kind to me, so, you know. I mean, I know I'm probably just you're annoying coworker, but..."

He shook his head, hushing you. "Now, now. Stop with that. You are most surely my friend."

"Oh." You got even more flustered, plopping down in the spinny chair yet again. "Well. Welly, well, well well. Thanks, I guess. Uh, would it bother you if I stopped referring to you as W. D., then?"

"Not at all."

"Nice. That's good. I was afraid you'd take it as me being too buddy-buddy if I just called you Gaster, so thanks."

He laughed. "It's no trouble at all." 

With that, he turned back to what he was doing before, careful to balance it out before adding more acid to already strong solution. You tried to focus back on your paper, but your mind kept drifting away. Eventually, you stood back up and went to start patching up your hands again just as Doppler came back.

"Oh, don't tell me you hurt yourself again." He sighed, heading for the first aid cabinet.

"No, no. I was actually showing Gast here how fucked up my hands are." You shifted, heat crawling across as your face as embarrassment rolled in your gut. "I, um, accidentally got something on his glove and had to take it off." You shot a look to Gaster, who didn't seem to mind you retelling the events. "He freaked out and I freaked out..." You waved a hand as Doppelgänger came up. 

"Aw, did you two have a mushy-gushy bonding moment?" His face morphed to something distinctly feminine as he pursed his lips and mashed his cheeks in and fluttered his eyelids. He then shifted it back and stuck out his tongue. "Ugh. Count me out."

"Oh, come now." Gaster shook his head. "You were the one suggesting we invite them out to lunch with us. Don't act as if you don't enjoy their company." 

Doppler flustered, turning away with a huff. "Yeah, well, might as well, otherwise they might blow everything up while I'm gone."

"Oh, Dipper Dop, you actually care!" You flung an arm over his shoulder, mashing face against his as he strained away. He was just a cat in a monster body, really.

"Well, songbird? What do you say?"

"Wait, wait, wait. Songbird? When did that happen?"

Gaster seemed to realize the nickname and grew flustered, turning back to the odd plant growth concoction in front of him. "Well, I-I meant to say..."

"I say, I'd be glad to go." You jumped to his rescue. "I mean, lunch is for the rich, but I'll go with you bourgeoisie."

"What even is a bourgeoisie?"

"I think it's a French thing for rich people. Like, Dukes, I think. Don't quote me on that."

"You are so weird."

"Fight me. Let's go, off to a rich person's meal!" 

Doppler and Gaster shot each other a look as you bounced into the hall, quickly forgetting your previous embarrassment. While Gaster smiled fondly after you, shaking his head, Doppler just rolled his eyes and sighed exasperatedly. 

If things got any more cutesy, he might just quit and find employment somewhere else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone else say 'Oop' when they mess up but want to lighten the mood? No? Just me? Okay. Also, don't quote me on science. I not a schooler.


	5. Relationships are confusing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick fluff filler. Enjoy.
> 
> *drops this on your plate* 
> 
> ... Why aren't you eating it?

"Okay, but what if pigs could fly? How rad would that be?"

"You are simply the epitome of genius here."

"I get that a lot." You don't.

"You're impossible."

"I get that a lot, too." You do.

You stuck your tongue into the coffee mug, tilting it so the liquid energy sloshed over it. Quickly you made a face and pulled away. 

"Ouch, yeah, that's still hot. Oh, you know what would be even radder? If fire could be liquidized. Like I know there's lava and stuff, but imagine going to a store and buying fire in a bottle as a quick way to roast something or whatever. Would that be rad or what?"

"I'm going with 'or what.'"

Gaster chuckled, cradling his cup of tea between his hands gently as he watched you and Doppelgänger banter back and forth. It was fun to watch you at times like this, comfortable and carefree. You tended to say whatever was on your mind, whether it be strange or not, and it was oddly refreshing. Also, he was nervous to admit, somewhat cute, in a way. 

Platonically, of course. He'd figured from the start that you and Doppelgänger had something going on, or at least were dancing around the subject. He was sure you'd get to the point eventually and was content to wait for it to happen, and when it did he would be nothing but support. 

He'd never been one for romance himself, but watching you with Doppelgänger made him happy, even if a part of him was still a bit unnerved by the feigned aggression and distaste on both sides. Oddly, however, despite this, he grew slightly uncomfortable at the thought of you getting together. But! He was quite sure it was just because he was not experienced in romance and would not know how to help very efficiently if you two had troubles.

"You're a real airhead."

"And you, my good sir, are completely correct."

"It still surprises me you've made it this far in your classes."

"Oh, you're telling me. I mean, it's not like I was actually /planning/ on getting into this whole mess." You waved the little spoon you'd been using to stir your coffee around. "Otherwise, I would have payed a little more attention to my science courses in high school. But, like, this wasn't exactly my..." 

You had both Gaster and Doppelgänger's full attention now. You seemed to realize this as what you'd said sank in. Yes, not thinking it through before you spoke tended to have some side effects. Panic started to rise in your eyes as you lowered the spoon.

"Oh. Um. Wow. That... That was certainly a thing I just said. Let's change the subject. Can we change the subject? Changing the subject sounds pretty great right about now." You seemed to shrivel in your seat, sweating beading on your brow as you looked away.

Doppelgänger looked ready to say something, but Gaster nudged him slightly and shook his head minutely. He didn't want you uncomfortable. Doppelgänger looked like he was going to object, then just snorted.

"You're weird."

"I get that a lot. Hey, did you know that swearing when you're hurt releases a chemical in the brain that raises your tolerance to pain? I mean, in humans. Yeah, that's a thing. Kind of explains a lot."

"A lot about you, anyway."

"Fight me, my good sir."

Gaster chuckled again. "Children, please." He teased softly.

"Fight me, grandpa."

He gasped in feigned surprise and hurt. "Excuse me!"

"You're excused."

"My word!"

"Is very adorable, to be honest." You paused. "Wait. What? Did I say that? No, I think you imagined that."

"You are terrible at saves."

"And you were awful at trying to join the royal guard."

Doppelgänger stared at you. 

"Oh, yes. I know everything."

He flushed angrily, then turned accusingly to the skeleton beside him. Gaster held up his palms as if innocent.

"Oh, it was most certainly not me that told them about your embarrassing escapades as a child. On purpose. Perhaps I talked about it without realizing it. But most surely not because they asked." He shot you a sly look, to which you returned a big grin. 

"I'm leaving. I can't believe I trusted you alone with them." Doppelgänger stood, shaking his head. You rose after him, downing your coffee in a few quick gulps.

"I have a paper to work on, anyway." Gaster was soon to follow you.

"That reminds me, I have dandelions to check on."

With that, your oddball trio started on the way back, you never quite shutting up, Doppler making quips now and then, Gaster simply giving his input on a subject whenever it seemed appropriate. 

Soon you were back in your spinny chair, Gaster making notes on his plants, Doppelgänger talking to some tree-humanoid just outside. He seemed to be enjoying himself. Eventually, he came back inside and started packing up his stuff.

"Yo, Dipper Dooper. Who was that?"

"Douglas, from the east wing. He's been my roommate for a while, and, well..." He suddenly seemed very flustered, blushing a pleasant shade of grayish green. "Um. Well. I've, uh, got a date. Tonight. At six." 

You jumped up and threw an arm over his shoulders, making him blush deeper. "Oh, man! I'm so proud of you! My little Dippy Dop is growing up!" You faked wiping away a tear of pride. "Go have fun, be safe, be home by nine."

"... Stop."

"Be safe, my child." You dragged his head down to tuck your chin over it and began to pet it tenderly.

"Stop."

"I wish you the best of luck in your relationship."

"Thanks, Doc."

With that, he huffed and left, clocking out a bit early. You swooned as he disappeared, putting a hand to your forehead.

"They grow up so fast, don't they?"

"They certainly do." Gaster chuckled, though he seemed somewhat bothered. 

You watched him fidget for a moment. "Uh, Doc? You okay there? You got a bad feeling about this date or...? I mean, he seemed pretty confident in it, and he's like, a grown adult, so, you know, but if you've got a gut feeling, I can understand being apprehensive. Gut feelings are nothing to sniff at."

"Oh. Oh, no, no. It's nothing like that. I'm fine, songbird." Yes, he'd been using the nickname quite frequently ever since he discovered you didn't object to it. It was quite adorable and made you feel very... accepted, in a way.

"Alright, I won't push it, but, you know, if you wanna talk, I don't give the best advice, but, you know, you can talk to me." You gave him your best reassuring smile.

He returned it. "Thank you, songbird."

"No problem, Gast."


	6. Perturbation

Time was passing nicely, the days no longer grinding past like the rusted cogs in a dead machine. It'd been nearly three quarters of a year since you'd met Gaster, about two months since Doppelgänger had gotten together with his roommate, and, surprisingly, you'd been injuring yourself less and less as time went by, though this was probably a side effect of not actually using the lab for its intended purpose. By now, you were simply going to hang out and be of assistance to your friends, chiefly Gaster.

"So, how've things been going between you and your trunky boyfriend? Get it? Like hunky, but-"

"Yes, I get it. God, you're awful."

"Okay but seriously, how've things been going?"

"... Nicely." He was blushing by this time, though you caught the quirk of a smile on his lips. You slid from counter top and threw an arm over his shoulders.

"Aw, my little baby is in loooooove!"

"Stop. I'm like, just as old as you, if not older."

"Ah, but you will always be my little child."

"No, I will not."

You plopped back into your chair, spinning gently in a circle. "So... What's up, Doc?"

"I am still waiting for results in my dandelions, as there has not been much change yet. And you, songbird?"

You smiled. You loved that little nickname. "Oh, you know, just trying to think up a cute nickname for my favorite skeleton."

He flushed a pleasant shade of dark, blueish purple. It made you giggle. That made him blush more, which made you full out laugh. "A-ah. I-I see." 

If you'd looked up at that moment, you would have noticed Doppelgänger narrow his eyes at the Doctor as if contemplating something.

"Hm. Gaster. There's not a lot to work off of there. What about Ghastly? Gastie? Gaster-Blaster? Or just Gast?" You kicked off a cabinet, spinning slowly as you thought about it. "This might take a while."

Gaster was hunched over one of the plants, absently toying with the leaves of one as if pretending to be busy. You just smiled. He was just an adorable little skellie. Okay, maybe not little, but he was most certainly an adorable skellie.

"You're cute when you get all flustered, you know that?"

He seemed to turn even darker, turning his head away slightly. "Ah. I was... I was not aware."

"Well, you are. I'll have to do that more often." You spun in your chair. "Hey, Doppler."

"... What now."

"Have you gotten intimate with your boo yet?" You wiggled your eyebrows at him, standing and leaning against a counter obviously not casually.

"Shut up, you-!" He broke off to cough, dipping his head away from you. 

You recoiled instantly, straightening abruptly as you stared at him. A cold feeling began creeping up your spine.

"Geez, no need to act like-"

"Oh my god, are you sick?" You didn't give him time to respond, panic and fear rolling in like waves. "Do monsters get sick? Are you okay? Have you seen a doctor? Is it something serious? Should I call someone? Should I get an ambulance? Do they take monsters at hospitals? Are there monster hospitals? What should I do? Who do I call?"

Doppler was looking at you strangely, the Doctor now focusing on the scene in apprehension. "Whoa, there. Breath. I'm fine. It's just a cold."

"It's /always/ just a cold! Then it's /just/ the flu, then it's 'something worse,' then they hesitate to do anything because it might bear worse results if it's not what they think, then they act too late, then you end up alone in the hospital because your friend was too stupid to realize what was going on!" Your vision suddenly split and blurred at the edges as you gasped for air, phone clutched in your hand, and you realized those were tears making your eyes sting. 

Both monsters blinked at you as if you'd grown a second head. Doppler shook his head after a moment, then looked at you quizzically. The Doctor took a hesitant step forward as Doppler spoke. "That was oddly specific."

You hesitated, looking between them for a moment, before trying to crush your uncertainty and overwhelming panic. You lifted your phone and tapped the button to make a call. "That's it, I'm calling someone!"

Your hand was caught by Doppler's thin, gray ones before you could punch in the numbers. "Hey, hey, chill! Chill out! I'm fine, seriously! It's literally just a cold! Alright?" He let out a breath, eyes confusedly and exasperatedly searching yours. "I had Doc check on me, just to be sure. It's just a cold. Or the monster equivalent to one. I'm fine." He slowly released your hand and stepped away. 

You stood there as your expression slowly melted from one of tense anxiety to one of boiling, overwhelming shame and uncertainty. After a moment, it softened to one of someone unsure how they got where they found themselves. You slowly relaxed, though you still looked taught, even as your arm drooped to fall to your side.

"I..." You closed your eyes, then looked away as the phone clunked gently to the floor. "I need a second." With that, you walked briskly to the lab door and pushed it open, stepping out into the hall and letting it clatter shut behind you.

The two monsters looked after you for a moment, then turned to each other. Gaster stepped forward to be shoulder to shoulder with the shorter, gray monster. 

"Do you... Have they told you anything about themselves that would indicate a... catalyst for such a response?"

"Not really. They, uh, don't talk about themselves a lot, in case you hadn't noticed." He hesitated, then started for the door, looking very uncomfortable and uncertain. Gaster reached out and caught his shoulder. He shook his head minutely, then headed for the door himself. Doppler, despite himself, was relieved he didn't have to try and fix this himself.

Emotions had never been his strong point. 

Gaster gently pushed the door open and looked up and down the hall, surprised to see you slouched against the wall very nearby. You had your hands pressed against your eyes, head tipped back as you breathed slowly, carefully. It made his heart- soul- ache.

"Songbird?" His voice- and expression- was laced with concern.

"O-oh. Hey, doc." You drew your hands away, looking at him through a somewhat hazy gaze. "Sorry about that. I, um, didn't mean to freak out. Oops. That was... embarrassing." You tried to a manage a smile, which came out sorry at best, then looked away, lowering your head.

His expression softened and he came closer, wrapping his arms around you as soon as he was within distance. He was careful about it at first, but pulled you flush against him when you gave into the embrace. He brought one hand up and laced his long, thin phalanges through the hair on the back of your head as you laid your head against the tall monster's chest.

"Sh, songbird, it's fine. I will not pretend I know what has happened in your life, or anything about what caused your reaction. But you are okay. He is okay. Everything will be okay. I can promise you that. Despite what has happened, whatever it may be, everything will be okay." He felt you take several deep breaths. 

You knew that wasn't necessarily true, because what had happened had assured that you were a damned fool, that you deserved whatever bad things life could throw at you. But, despite that, some part of you wanted to believe it. 

You didn't bother to correct him.

"... Thank you, Gaster."

He laid his head on yours almost lovingly. "It's okay, songbird."

You stood like that for a long time, you resting gently in his arms, him simply holding you. A few people passed that seemed to understand the situation, at least on a base concept, and they simply cast sympathetic glances your way that you didn't catch but Gaster did. He simply nodded as subtly as he could to them, appreciating their concern.

At one point, he noticed the stuck up, bearded man from down the hall had opened his own lab door and was watching. When he made eye contact with him, his gaze flicked down to you in his grasp, then back up to Gaster's eyes. He was obviously trying to hint at something.

Gaster simply narrowed his eyes at the man until he ducked back into his own lab and shut the door. He'd always viewed him as a very... conceited man, and this did nothing to raise his opinion of him. He was obviously just looking for something to needle you (or Gaster, for that matter) later. 

Eventually, you let out a long breath and pulled away. He released you gently as you wiped a hand across your face. 

"Ah. Aha. That was... embarrassing, for sure. Thank you. I didn't mean for that to... happen. I never wanted..." 

"It's fine, songbird. Do not fret. If you wish, I will not speak of this again."

"I... Yeah, I think that'd be best. Thanks."

"Ah, by the way." He held out a hand, your phone (which you were quite sure he was not holding just a few seconds before) resting in his palm. "I believe you dropped this."

You took it, if somewhat reluctantly. "Thanks."

With that, you took a deep breath and went back into the lab, Gaster close behind. Doppler looked up as you came in as casually as you could imagine.

"... You chill?"

"Yeah. Sorry about... that."

"For someone who couldn't care less over your own safety, you seem to blow a fuse every time someone else is hurt." 

"Fight me."

With that, your little freak out was nearly forgotten. Despite that, however, you continually drifted off during the day. It worried Gaster, while Doppler was soon too busy out and running errands around the building to be around to notice. 

You had eventually sank to sit against a row of cabinets beneath one table, leaning into them as you stared off into space blankly, lost in thought.

"... Songbird?"

"Hm?"

"Are you alright?" 

"Yeah. Of course. Mostly. Kind of." You shook your head as if shaking off water. "What's up, Doc?"

"Are you sure you're comfortable... down on the floor like that?" He was sitting in your usual chair, using a computer on the countertop above you. He was casting a vaguely concerned, raised-eyebrow look your way.

"Hey, these are top-of-the-line floors we're talking about here."

He chuckled lightly, but gestured to the spinny chair he was in. "Would you rather sit here? If you do, I would be more then willing to stand."

"Nah, you're good." You paused, then hooked a hand up and onto the counter ledge, pulling yourself up. "Here, I've got an idea. Stay right there." 

With that, you promptly sat in his lap, shoulders on one arm rest, legs dangling over the other. He blinked down at you, seemingly holding his breath as a dark purple crawled across his cheeks quite strongly. You grinned up at him.

"Hi."

He let out a breath in a breathy chuckle, shaking his head, but the flush seemed determined to stay upon his cheeks. "Why, hello. Fancy meeting you here." 

"Oh, I never knew you frequented this place often!"

"Neither I to you."

You laughed, falling slack in the somewhat odd position you had picked out, soon humming gently under your breath. Eventually, Gaster seemed to get over the initial shock and returned to what he was doing, even if it was slightly more difficult with you strewn across his lap.

Oddly, he found he didn't mind.

 

The next day, you felt like shit. 

Not sick, per se, but generally like garbage as a human being. You grumbled to yourself when you woke, wanting nothing more then to fall back asleep, but some part of you was very, very awake and simply wouldn't allow it.

You opted to not attend class that day, as well as skip going to the lab as your bad mood would probably rub off and you didn't want your friends to be bummed just because you were. 

Oddly, though, Gaster drifted into your thoughts far too often to be considered socially acceptable. You found your thoughts wandering to that moment in the hall, relaxing against his wide ribcage as you slowly brought yourself back to reality and away from the past. Oddly, it made you feel both very bubbly and very flustered. All you knew for sure was that you wouldn't mind doing that again, with a little less panic attacks.

You shuffled around your small flat in your pajamas, muttering to yourself when you found you had yet to go to the store. You pulled what little you had together, eventually making mac n cheese and a cup of coffee. Yeah, odd combo, but so what? It's not like there was anyone here to judge you for it. Besides, it was your life, no one could tell you how to live your life, let alone how to eat. If you wanted to fuck up your body, you could. It was yours, not theirs, they didn't have to worry about it.

You were in the middle of contemplating the meaning of life while sitting upside down on your couch when there was a knock from your door. You made a face, then tumbled from the couch in an undignified heap accompanied by a loud thump. The knocking came back, louder this time, somehow sounding worried.

You swung the door open ready to give however it was an earful of what you'd conjured up in place of the meaning of life, but stopped short when two familiar monsters crowded your doorway, one looking both very tired and very exasperated, the other looking both very panicky and very sweaty. 

There was a small pause.

"Hi. Fancy meeting you here." You eventually said, having nothing else come to mind.

Gaster seemed to almost deflate, putting a hand to his forehead as he looked to the ceiling and saying something under his breath before turning back to you. "Goodness, songbird. You must warn me the next time you decide to take a day off."

"... What?"

Doppelgänger rolled his eyes, jerking a thumb to the skeleton. "Dr. Ants-in-his-pants here wouldn't stop freaking out until I told him I'd bring him here. He was thoroughly convinced you'd spontaneously combusted or something." He shook his head. "I'm too old for this."

"Oh." You felt bad. You should have at least texted Doppelgänger. "I'm sorry, guys, I just..." You waved a hand, leaning the doorway. "I just didn't feel up to coming in today. Oops. I should have said something."

Gaster grabbed you and pulled you into a hug before you could say anything else. "It's fine, songbird. I simply... worry for you." He sighed out gently, relaxing, before pulling away, cheeks tinted darker.

Doppelgänger was watching very closely. If you had focused on him at that moment, you would have noticed the small smirk quirk at the edges of his fanged mouth.

"Welp. Oops. I'm sorry. Um, it's kind of a mess, but, uh, want to come in? I was just contemplating the meaning of life when you showed up."

Gaster laughed as Doppelgänger shook his head, but entered soon after him anyway. 

For a while, there was an awkward silence. Then you snapped your fingers, jumping to your feet.

"Hey, I have to go to the store anyway. Want to tag along? It's something to do, at least."

"I wouldn't mind that at all."

"Better then sitting here doing nothing."

"Alright, give me two milliseconds and I'll be in socializing clothes and ready to go."

 

Gaster and Doppelgänger both helped you take the various bags inside, but Doppelgänger had to leave soon after as he had to spend time with his honey bunches. You blew him a kiss goodbye, which he responded to with a vaguely disgusted expression before waving. With that, you swept back into the living room, where Gaster was eyeing one of your bookshelves, and your guitar next to it. 

You plopped down next to him. He looked at you in vague surprise, then gave you a soft smile. You flashed him a grin back. 

"Thanks. For coming to check on me, I mean. I had fun hanging out with you guys. Really turned a sour day into a good one."

"The pleasure was all mine."

You chatted about this and that for a while before you fell into a companionable quiet. Outside, birds were singing. The plant on your windowsill was threatening to bloom. On days like these, it was nice to sit with a good friend and just enjoy each other's company. 

Then why did calling Gaster a friend somehow make you flustered?

At one point, you swung your legs up and head down, soon sitting upside down. Gaster looked down at you, now below him, in both amusement and confusion.

"Hi."

"Why hello." He chuckled.

"Care to contemplate the meaning of life with me?"

He smiled amusedly, then joined you, skull side by side with flesh covered skull. His hands folded to rest against his chest and you let yours clutch loosely at the edge of the couch. For a while, you just stayed like that, together, feeling the world move around you.

"This is nice." He eventually said.

"I can agree with that."

You smiled, closing your eyes as you focused on the breath entering and leaving your lungs. In that small window of time, Gaster turned his head to look at you, hair falling away from your face, giving him a perfect view of the contours and curves of your features. He felt a blush crawl across his own face and quickly looked away. 

Yes, this was most certainly very nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this one feels long, it's because it was meant to be two different chapters and ended up feeling awkward as such so I melded it into one.
> 
> I don't know what else to say about this one. So. Um. Hi.


	7. Singing little songbird

You were sitting in your usual spinny chair, attempting to see just how fast you could go without vomiting everywhere, when the chair abruptly stopped. Standing above you, tilting slowly from side to side in your blurry vision, was the doctor who thought he owned the place.

"Oh. Hello, Frederick."

"Dr. Frederick. Would you happen to know where your little gray friend has gone off to? I need something from the east wing and I can't find him." He leaned away, crossing his arms as he quirked an eyebrow at you in his usual grumpy way.

"Ah, yeah, he went to the east wing with Gast." 

"'Gast?'"

"Doctor W. D. Gaster. The skeleton."

"Oh, I see." If you didn't know better, that looked like a smirk quirking the edges of his bearded mouth. Then you remembered- Frederick gossiped worse then PTA moms in bad movies. "Oh, and would you mind telling me what you're using the lab for? It certainly looks productive." He raised a condescending eyebrow.

You blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "How spinning in a spinny chair affects the brain. I'm my own test subject." 

"Oh, you must think you're so clever. What, earning brownie points with your little doctor?" He almost sneered, lowering his eyelids as you tried to get whatever he was trying to say.

"Eh?"

"Don't play dumb with me."

"Are we interrupting something?" A surprisingly cold but familiar voice boomed from the door way. You looked away from the bearded snob in front of you to see Gaster and Doppler standing in the door way. Or, rather, Gaster taking up the entire doorway with Doppler slightly behind him. Gaster was drawn up to his full height, a good two heads or so taller then you, let alone Frederick. In a way, it was a reminder that he was the former royal scientist and a force to be reckoned with. Also, it made him very intimidating.

"Oh, no." Frederick quickly drew away from you, heading for the door himself. "Young man! I was looking everywhere for you." 

"What is it you need, sir?"

Frederick squeezed his way past Gaster, whose gaze followed him through narrowed eyes, and into the hall beside Doppler. Soon he was walking away, directing Doppler to the east wing's room 22, and Gaster let out a breath in a huff and seemed to relax slightly, not looking half so scary as prior. 

"Was he bothering you?" He murmured, coming up with a clipboard in hand and casting an almost concerned glance your way.

"You kidding? He's Frederick. His very existence bothers me." You sniffed, then started spinning again. "Nah, I'm just kidding. He was just being his usual nosy self."

"Nosy?"

"Poking about my business. Something about brownies, I don't know. He never makes much sense." 

"Hmm." Gaster seemed to looking almost angry for a moment, then turned to the dandelion sitting on the windowsill. "Still no sign of change." He sighed, toying with one of the flowers. It bobbed gently under his touch. 

"Maybe above ground things just aren't magic oriented." You shrugged, slowly spinning to a stop. 

"I suppose not."

"Don't throw it away, though. It really brightens up the room, all nice and yellow like that."

He looked at it for several moments. "I suppose." He flipped through a few pages on the clipboard. "It's odd. The mice they tested on in the east wing reacted accordingly to the magic, but there's been no sign of affects in flora."

"Maybe it's like a soul thing. I've heard souls are made of magic."

"Perhaps." 

A few minutes later, Doppelgänger returned from his 'ridiculous, extraneous chore' for Frederick, looking very peeved. 

"I swear, he treats me like I'm his slave."

"Bite him."

"I'd get fired."

"Threaten to bite him."

"You're insane."

"Thanks!"

He shook his head, but leaned against the counter beside you casually. 

"Oh, hey. Grillby's tonight."

"Alright. I'll be there just to make sure you don't die."

"Whatever floats your goat."

"It's boat, not goat."

"Fight me."

 

You were strumming indecisively on your guitar from your spot at the bar, Doppler beside you. Grillby was standing close by, wiping out a glass. Doppler shot you a look from the corner of his eye, leaning his elbows on the countertop.

"Well? You gonna play or not?"

"I am, I just don't know what to play."

"God, you're more an airhead then usual. What's your deal?"

"I don't know. I just can't think of anything to play. You got anything?"

"Nope."

"Hm." You strummed a few more times, then paused. After a moment, you picked out a tune and stood. "I've got something."

You began to stroll easily, slowly around the bar, expertly going between booths and tables as you had done dozens of times before. 

"The beer I had for breakfast was bottle of Mad Dog,  
And my twenty/twenty visions was fifty percent off.  
You said punch buggy red and me right in my left eye,  
I said don't you mean pediddle? and I lit his house on fire..."

"... But the rocks with holes are warm in my hands,  
And I buried my toes in the hot, hot sand,  
And the silver pink pony kisses me and says,  
'You've come a long, long way and you deserve to be really happy.'"

You faked a bow as you finished, trying to catch your breath. You were surprised when a heart clap came from the bar, and even more surprised to see Gaster sitting there, smiling at you. 

\- We are having technical difficulties, come back later.

Your mind blanked for a few seconds, then you flushed and rushed over, way, way, beyond embarrassed.

"What are you doing here?!" You whispered out as soon as you could slam your hands down on the countertop, sweat beading on your forehead. He chuckled, making you even more flustered.

"I came to hear you play. You sing wonderfully."

You buried your face in your hands for a few moments. "If I'd known you'd be listening, I would have picked a more... appropriate song."

"No, no. It was lovely."

"Kimya Dawson. She's pretty rad." You took a deep breath, calming your suddenly fried nerves. "Welp. There goes the last of my dignity." 

"Nonsense, you were wonderful. I'll have to be sure to have you sing more often."

Doppelgänger chuckled when he caught sight of your flushed face, making you shoot him a glance. He narrowed his eyes knowingly at you, wiggling his eyebrows as if hinting at something. That just made you even more confused.

"Go on now, keep playing. Don't let my presence hinder you." 

You hesitated, then reasoned that you still needed some cash anyway, so you might as well. "Any requests?"

It was Gaster's turn to blush. "No, no, none from me. Just listening to you is enough for me."

You turned to rest of the bar, asking the crowd if they had any requests. You were surprised when a few raised their hands. You smiled, pleasantly surprised, and headed for the closest one.

Gaster watched you as you started to play, then turned back to the bar, surprised to see Grillby looking at him in some form of... disbelief? 

"... Yes?"

Grillby shook his head, instead asking his old friend if there was anything he particularly wanted from the menu or behind the counter. Gaster shook his head and all was calm for a while, until Doppler elbowed him from his left. He looked over in surprise, only to see the young monster smirking at him, looking quite smug. He raised an eyebrow, to which the gray monster responded with nodding to the open floor of the bar. 

He turned in his seat to see you wandering as you had been when he'd entered, singing with a comfortable smile on your face. The smile was contagious and soon one was on Gaster's face, which quickly turned confused when he turned back to Doppler, who was looking even more smug, so much as chuckling under his breath. 

"... What?" 

This only made him chuckle louder. "Oh, Doc, you've got it bad." 

Before the skeleton could question him further, you swept up to him, strumming a cheerful tune on your guitar. You flashed him a big grin, soon leaning against the bar, but focusing your attention on the doctor.

"I've got one I think you'll like!"

"Oh?" 

You only nodded, then fell into the rhythm of the song.

"Life and death and love and birth,  
And peace and war on the planet earth.  
Is there anything worth more,  
Then peace and love on the planet earth?"

You surprised the doctor when you turned to him, flashing him a very happy grin.

"Life and death and love and birth-" 

He blinked, flushing, when you nodded to him, making it obvious what you wanted. He hesitated, then repeated reluctantly.

"Life and death and love and birth...?"

You nodded encouragingly, then waved him to sing in time with you, which he did, if somewhat clumsily. 

"And peace and war on the planet earth!"

You flashed him an ecstatic grin while he only flushed deeper. "You're great!" 

He ducked his head as you turned back to the crowd. 

"Life and death and love and birth and-  
Life and death and love and birth and-  
Life and death and love and birth,  
And peace and war on the planet earth.

Is there anything that's worth more-  
Is there anything that's worth more-  
Is there anything that's worth more,  
Then peace and love on the planet earth?"

You finished with one last strong strum at a cord, and the bar, surprisingly, applauded loudly. You looked up in shock, then smiled, feeling better then you had a long time. Several people passed handfuls of change and dollar bills up, to which you called a big thank you to everyone in the bar.

You packed up the guitar, sitting with a content sigh. "Ah, this was nice."

Gaster hummed. "Most certainly." 

"Thanks for playing along with me, by the way! It was nice to have someone to sing with for once, let alone someone with such a nice voice."

He ducked his head and glanced away again. "It was nothing. You are far, far better."

"You kiddin'? Anyone sings better then me, you especially." You stretched your hands carefully, then relaxed against the bar. 

For a while, you all just sat and chatted for a long time. You found out Grillby and Gaster were close friends recently reunited, which only surprised slightly, and that they had gone to school together, which sounded more then a little adorable. Little skellie and little fireball going to school together. Daw.

As the bar cleared out, you all made a mutual agreement to head for your respective homes. You swung your guitar onto your shoulder, then shot your duo a round of goodbyes and blown kisses, before taking off for your place at a hasty trot, guitar bouncing on your back. 

The duo watched you until you a rounded a corner and couldn't be seen anymore. Gaster shook his head, chuckling to himself, before turning to head for his own home, Doppelgänger at his side.

Doppelgänger kept shooting him knowing glances at him from the corner of his eye. Eventually, Gaster sighed in exasperation.

"What? Why do you keep looking at me like that?"

"Never thought you'd be the kind to come to busy pub, let alone when it's late." The gray monster smirked, quirking an eyebrow.

"I came for friends."

"Friends, or just one friend in particular?" There was a sly, teasing tone in there.

Gaster blushed despite himself. "I wished to hear them play. Where's the fault in that?"

Doppelgänger cackled, throwing his head back. "Oh, boy, Doc. You've got it bad."

"I've got it /what/ bad?" The doctor huffed, thoroughly embarrassed. 

Doppelgänger laughed again, but stopped when he saw the confused and exasperated expression on the skeletons face. "Wait, you really don't know? Oh, geez." He smacked his hand across his face. "You're practically head over heels for your little songbird, doc."

The skeleton instantly turned about the color of a blueberry, appalled at even the suggestion of such a thing. "No, I am not! The feelings I hold for them are strictly platonic." 

The gray monster grinned slightly. "Yeah? Well, I guess you won't mind that they are totally hooking up with that cute guy from the corner booth right now."

"What?!" The skeleton froze in his tracks, looking ready to race back to find out if it was true and, if it was, try to stop it. 

The gray monster burst out into laughter again, making the skeleton both flustered and somewhat angry all over again. "Ohhhhh my god, doc."

"Doppelgänger!"

"Don't get your panties in a twist. You've obviously got something a little more then platonic going on."

"No, I do not! I am simply a responsible friend." The skeleton huffed, ignoring the insistent jabs for the rest of the walk. 

Romantic feelings for you? Simply impossible! His feelings for you were the same as any close friends'. That was it. End of story.

But then, why did he so often want to hold your hands? Or simply cradle you in his arms, where he knew you were safe? Or smother you in concern when you so much as nicked your fingers on the lab equipment? Or, even more embarrassing, why did the thought of waking up to you every day sound so... appealing? And why did the thought of you gallivanting around in some other monster's- or human's- arms make his magic prickle with something akin to anger? 

But, most certainly, these were platonic things.

... Right?


	8. Crushes

"Thanks for walking with me, Gaster-Disaster." 

The previously mentioned skeleton chuckled at the nickname. "The pleasure was all mine." 

You stopped in front of your apartment building, turning to give the smiling skeleton a grin. You paused to contemplate something, smile faltering at the edges.

"Is something wrong, songbird?"

"No, no, I was just thinking." You dragged your finger tips across the lower half of your face, thinking hard for several moments. "I want to talk to you about something, but not now. Maybe... later. Not tomorrow, but later. Ask me some time, when we're out and walking around like this. There's something I think you need to know, but... I need time to think of a way to say it."

The skeleton tipped his head to the side, confused. "Of course. It must be very important?"

"Yeah. In all honesty, I think I should have told you and Doppler both a long time ago, but I was... scared. Ask me the next time we're out and about, if I haven't told you already by then." You looked very troubled, scratching absently at your cheek. 

"Of course, songbird. Goodnight."

"Night, Gast." 

With that, you flashed him a grin as if nothing had happened, then bounced into your building with your usual grace. He chuckled, but deep down he was very, very curious about what it was you had to say later. Some part of him was very hopeful, but for what, he didn't know. Even as he walked slowly back to his own home, that curiosity ate away at his thoughts and made his mind wander back to the subject more then once. 

 

When he arrived back at the lab the next day, he was surprised to see you already there in your usual attire. You were leaning absently against one of the tables, elbows propped up as you hunched over, legs crossed in a very... elegant(?) pose.

Normally, you arrived a little after two, having completed your classes for the day. The only time he'd found you there before him was when you had left your laptop in one of the medicine cabinets. Why it was there, even you didn't know, you simply tore around the lab in a panic until Doppelgänger found it.

When he got over his initial surprise and stepped inside, you turned to look at him over your shoulder, then cast him an almost smirk like smile. For some reason, it made his soul flutter.

"Oh, there you are, Doc." Your voice was... soft, almost tender. His soul fluttered faster.

"Good morning, songbird. I'm surprised you're here so early. No classes today?"

"Oh, I just wanted to see my favorite skeleton early today." You turned, straightening as you leaned your lower back against the counter behind you. You propped your hands up on it as he came closer, giving him another warm smile.

"Oh?" He couldn't help the faint blush from crawling across his cheekbones as you leaned over, grabbing the dainty dandelion on the windowsill. He watched you trace the leaves of it gently, smiling down at it through half closed eyes, before you passed it to him.

"Oh, of course. You've become the real highlight of my day."

"O-oh?"

"Mmhm." He tried to concentrate on the plant in front of him, but watched you tip your head back slightly and close your eyes, giving him a nice view of the curve of your neck. He quickly darted his gaze away as you started speaking again. "It's the best, just coming in here to see you." 

"O-oh...?" 

"Mmhm. You just make it all so much more worth it, especially when you wear those cute turtle necks."

"O-o-oh?" As the blush got stronger, it only got worse when you opened your eyes and slid him a look from the corner of your eye.

"Gaster." Your voice was so soft and velvety now, it might as well have made him putty in your hands.

"Y-y-yes?" His hands began to jitter slightly as you turned to face him and stepped carefully closer, him backing up a half step for each full step of yours, until you were practically touching him. It was slightly silly, considering you were so much shorter then him, but the way you were peering up at him through your eyelashes was too distracting for him to notice. Your lips quirked into a small smile that might have resembled a smirk.

"Gaster," You tilted your head at him, whispering in a way that made his cheeks turn yet darker, "you're like finding the perfect duet partner; rare, beautiful, and well worth the search. Would you like to make some beautiful music with me?" 

It was the way you tilted your head as you said it that really got to him. 

"Oh my goodness!" He quickly slapped his hands over his face, turning away in hopes of calming the raging pulsing of his soul. He tried to take a deep breath, but that just made his hands and knees shake worse. 

The quiet was broken by a loud spiel of laughter. 

A laugh that was most certainly not yours. 

His head quickly snapped up, hands clenching as he whirled around. There stood Doppelgänger, howling in laughter as his skin changed back to its usual gray and his eyes seeped of their color. He clutched at his stomach as his laughter dissolved into faint wheezes. The doctors shock was quickly replaced with embarrassment very much like anger in its intensity.

"/Doppelgänger/!!"

"Hooooooo, my god, Doc..." The gray monster dissolved into giggles and chuckles, slowly dragging himself into a standing position. With one swift movement, he pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of the fuming skeleton. 

"Doppelgänger, I am very disappointed in you!"

"You should have seen your faaaaaace, Doc. Maybe I should consider being an actor."

"I cannot believe you just did that!"

"Welp, I did. Sorry, Doc, Douglas bet me twenty bucks I couldn't make you flustered and pissed all in the same day, let alone in the span of a few seconds." The gray shapeshifter shrugged, but nothing could have wiped the grin off his face. 

"That was completely inappropriate!"

"Good lord, Doc, just admit you've got feelings for them. I wouldn't have chosen that for my method of attack if you had just admitted it from the start."

"I do not have romantic feelings for them!"

"Oh, yeah? Then why did you get all hot under the collar?" 

That was a good question, actually. Why had he gotten so flustered over the shape shifters little... act?

"Ha! See, I've got you now."

"Doppelgänger, I don't-"

"Doc, listen." The gray monster rolled his eyes with a sigh, shaking his head in an almost pitying way. "Would it really be so bad if you did have a thing for them? What makes it so bad?"

"... I'm not supposed to feel that way for them. We're friends, nothing more." The doctor sank into your usual chair, fumbling with his fingers in a dejected way.

"Doc, if that's the only thing keeping you from admitting your little crush, you've really got your head in the clouds."

"... What?" 

"Listen, Doc, trust me when I say you shouldn't try to ignore these feelings. They don't, uh, die easy. Best to just let them take the reins and see what happens. Maybe you'll even find what comes out is... desirable. Alright?"

"I... I don't understand."

"Just roll with the feelings. That's the most I can say. Hold on, I'll be back in a second, Dr. Stick-up-his-ass is peering in here." 

With that, the gray monster stomped out of the lab, leaving the emotionally confused skeleton alone. 

When you came in later that day, the doctor couldn't meet your gaze, and skedaddled his way out of there early before you could notice the obvious noticeable dark blue, embarrassed flush swathed across his face.

 

A few days, maybe a week, passed since that little... incident. Gaster was relaxed comfortably, checking on the dandelion, when you stepped inside, looking slightly disheveled, but with nothing else to note.

You plopped yourself down beside the small flower pot sitting on the counter, the dandelion inside bobbing gently when you touched it.

"Good afternoon, songbird."

"Hey, Gast. How's it going?"

"No better, no worse."

"Looks like this dandelions ready for wishing."

"Wishing?"

"Oh, I didn't tell you? When dandelions look like little cloud puffs like this, if you blow all the seeds off into the breeze, you can make a wish, like on a shooting star." You tapped the fluffy dandelion head, watching the small, feathered seeds ruffle in the breeze it made.

"Such an odd tradition."

"Well, dandelions are considered weeds above ground. I guess it's a way of turning a supposed bad thing into a good thing." 

"Hmmm."

For a while, it was quiet. You looked conflicted for several minutes, then turned to the skeleton.

"Hey, Gaster."

"Hm?"

"You free tomorrow?"

"Yes...?"

"Alright. Meet me outside my apartment building in the morning. I want to talk to you about that thing I said I wanted to talk to you about."

The skeleton's soul fluttered giddily, but surely you weren't going to talk about what he may have thought you were going to talk about. He tried to ignore it. "Of course, songbird."


	9. Confessionary

It was a bright and cool morning as Gaster strolled to your apartment building, hints of curiosity making him walk just a bit faster then usual. He smiled to himself, taking a deep breath of the crisp and clear air. A mocking bird nearby twittered, then changed tune completely, repeating the act several times. A waft of warm air brushed past as he passed an open coffee shop, taking in a breath full of its cozy smell. 

It was a beautiful day outside.

When he approached the front of your building, he was faintly surprised to see you standing there waiting for him, guitar on your back. You seemed distracted, scrolling through something on your phone, but the next instant you had looked up and smiled casually at him.

"Morning, Gast."

"Good morning, songbird. So what is the occasion?"

You ignored him, instead stuffing your phone into your pocket. "Come on, walk with me." 

You turned and began to walk down the street in a direction you hadn't gone before, heading away from the college campus. Your hands were in your pockets, eyes nearly closed as you lead the confused doctor along. 

"Come on in here real fast." You swerved to the left suddenly, opening a door to a flower shop for him. He nodded to you as he ducked inside and took in a breath of the perfumey smells inside. You walked over to the counter, leaning a hip against it.

"Pick out a bunch. Whatever you want, pick out a dozen of whatever suits your fancy."

Baffled, the skeleton turned to the rows of flowers, walking up and down for a time. Then he returned to your side, a bundle of flowers in his hands.

"Primroses? Nice choice. Ring us up, big guy." You slapped a twenty on the counter, telling the massive goat monster from last time to keep the change. He waved, giving Gaster a small smile. The skeleton nodded back, looking startled. "Here, you carry these, doc. Come on."

The walk went on. It was quiet for a bit. Then, very casually,

"There are roughly seven billion humans on this planet." You didn't turn to look at the skeleton as his head lifted in surprise. "Roughly 40% of those people will be diagnosed with cancer at least once in their lifetime."

You turned a corner, knocking a small pebble out of the way, making it skitter across the pavement. 

"Roughly 20% of that 40% are people below the age of twenty, if my sources are correct."

The road was very quiet, more trees appearing in place of buildings. You turned to a small ice cream stand and ordered two chocolate cones, dropping a ten onto the counter and walking on without grabbing any change. You passed one to the skeleton, who took it in confusion.

"Roughly 80% of that 20% will live to see another day five years later."

You ate only half of the ice cream, then tossed it into a trashcan as you passed. 

"That leaves 20% of 20% of 40% of roughly seven billion people. Might not sound like a lot, but that's a lot if you just consider the sheer number of seven billion." 

You shrugged, turning down a small street.

"Now, roughly, 99.99999% of that 20%'s friends and family will be there to support them through it."

You were still smiling casually to yourself, though by this point it looked more then a little strained. You turned to a large gate by the side of the rode and pushed it open, waving the skeleton inside. A small sign beside it read "Breezy Meadow" and, beneath that, "Take a step inside and rest your feet. You are always welcome." The skeleton paused, unsure.

"Don't worry, this is just the side entrance. There's a bigger one for vehicles on the other side, but I like this one better. Don't worry, it's not private property. Gates just for show." 

You nodded him in. He hesitated, then carefully followed you down a shaded path. It seemed that, just on the other side of the trees bordering the stone walkway, were large open spaces.

"And, well, I guess I'm just that 0.0000001% that wasn't there for one of the 20% individuals." 

He turned to look at you in confusion, but just then you turned off the path, leading him through a few rows of outcroppings of stone. You eventually plopped down a bench seemingly randomly placed in front of one. You patted the seat beside you, pulling your guitar off your back.

"Doc, I want you to meet Taylor. My... previous best friend." You waved to the stone in front of you, and just then it dawned on him.

This was a human graveyard. He'd forgotten the traditions humans had for their dead, so different from monsters. All those stones sticking up from the ground had been tombstones. All this talk- you were telling him a tale about yourself, about your past, about whoever it was six feet beneath his feet. 

He sat carefully beside you, eyes on the smooth, glossy tombstone:

"Here lies Taylor Morgan Mackenzie.  
199X-202X  
Beloved child, friend, teacher.  
May we learn from them, even in death."

"You can go ahead and give them the flowers. They liked primroses, too. They would have liked your pick."

He nodded silently, lowering the bouquet of flowers to the grass as respectfully as he could. 

"I think they would have liked you, too. You're everything they liked in people: hopeful, optimistic, smart, thoughtful. You remind me of them some times."

He finally lifted his gaze from the headstone to you, soul aching at your small, pained smile. 

"I, uh, kinda fucked up at the end, though. I was caught up in other things, never caught on to why they were always busy, never was there for them when they really needed it. I was... I made a big mistake. I'm giant piece of shit, even now. I kept this under wraps so you and Doppler wouldn't know."

You leaned back, running a hand over your face as your smile disappeared and was replaced with a grimace. 

"I didn't... I didn't want you to know the truth. I thought it would make you realize how awful I was and then you'd leave, and..." You shrugged. "But you deserve to know. I was being selfish, keeping it swept under the rug like that."

You fiddled with a loose string on your shirt.

"I, uh, never meant to join this profession. After Taylor... died, in the heat of the moment, I decided to wanted to cure the incurable disease and sent an application to this university. I was surprised when I got accepted, but, still swept up in all my grief, I quickly packed up and came out here. I wanted to be a singer, a long time ago... Guess I never really gave it up. But I've stuck to this stupid cancer thing, using the lab provided to try and work a miracle... To no avail. I still have no idea what I'm doing."

You chuckled. He saw tears brimming at the edge of your lashes. 

"Guess it explains a lot, huh?"

For long time, he listened to you take deep breaths. "Is this why... you...?"

You seemed to catch on fairly quickly. "Hate myself? Yeah. Same with the, uh... these." You held up a hand, the scars showing well in the light. "I did a bad thing, and it's karma's job to make sure I pay for it, so I just let it happen. I deserve it." You let your elbow fall across your eyes. "I'm just a thick, stupid waste of space, so I might as well just-"

"Please, do not talk about yourself that way."

You looked over in surprise when a warm, bony hand found yours. He was looking at you softly, almost tenderly, cradling your hand in his. In a way, he almost looked pained himself.

"You made a mistake, but I doubt your friend cares. I bet they care more about how you're destroying yourself over it. You are more then your mistakes, songbird. Please, don't let them control you. I... We care about you too much for you to see you continually hurt yourself." His hand squeezed yours, gaze searching yours. "You deserve to be happy. Not to continually hurt over something long past."

It was then that you began to cry. 

Big, fat tears slid down your cheeks, silently at first; then you made a small, choked noise and turned away, cringing. You began to shake, spare hand going up to cover your eyes.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry, I never meant for you to see me like this..." You sputtered out, sobbing through your tears. 

The doctor quickly moved closer, taking you in his arms and gently pulling your hand from your face, instead pushing you gently into his chest. It was odd, crying into someone with little to no give in them, only hard bone, but you clung to him anyway. It was something you hadn't had in years- someone to cry on when you needed it. You took a deep breath to calm your body, still racked with cries, finding the smell of old books, warm tea, and sweet dandelions very comforting.

"Sh, sh, you're okay. I could never hate you. I would never leave. You're okay. It was a mistake. Things would have been the same otherwise. You're okay, no one blames you. Sh, sh, I'm here." He ran a hand gently over the back of your head, up and down soothingly. 

You held onto him until you'd cried yourself out. You pulled away, reaching up to wipe your tears away; Gaster beat you to it, gloved thumb running gently under your eyes. He gave you a small, reassuring smile. You tried your best to give one back, but your gaze slid away from his as you blushed a light shade of red.

"Uh, ha. I, um, meant to play something, but crying kind of kills my voice..." 

"That's alright."

"... Would you be my voice? Or at least, drown out how awful I sound?"

"Of course. What would you like to play?" Despite the faint blue across his cheeks, he smiled as you picked up your guitar.

"It's one they liked especially. I think you'll remember it."

He did. He recognized the tune as soon as you began to strum it out. He smiled softly, soon falling into rhythm with you,

"Life and death and love and birth,  
And peace and war on the planet earth.  
Is there anything that's worth more  
Then peace and love on the planet earth.

Life and death and love and birth and-  
Life and death and love and birth and-  
Life and death and love and birth,  
And peace and war on the planet earth.

Is there anything that's worth more,  
Is there anything that's worth more,  
Is there anything that's worth more  
Then peace and love on the planet earth?"

"... thank you."

"It was no trouble, songbird. If you so wish, I will not mention this again unless you so wish."

"... Yeah, I think that would be best. Thanks."

"No trouble at all, songbird."

You walked home in a companionable quiet, stopped at an ice cream stand, wandered around a book store for a while, got a coffee and some cinnabuns, all without mentioning what went on in the graveyard. 

You finally returned to your apartment as the sun was going down. For a moment, you just stared at the bulk of cement and stone in front of you, not really wanting to return to your 'home.' He seemed to pick up on this, hand gently finding your shoulder.

"Would you like to spend the evening at my home?"

"I... I don't want to be a bother."

"It would not be a bother."

"... Only if you're sure."

"Come, I will lead the way."

Soon, you were sitting awkwardly in the skeleton's living room. The room- or entire house, for that matter- was washed in warm colors: yellows and tans, creams and pale oranges. It was very... welcoming. It felt like home, in a strange way.

Gaster came out from his kitchen with two mugs, both full of steaming tea.

"I know you're not too fond of tea, but I hope you will find this to your liking."

"Thanks." You took it carefully, inhaling it's subtle, slightly flowery fragrance. You took a careful sip, wincing at the heat, but enjoying the warm taste all the same. "It's nice. Thank you for showing me leaf water can be pretty great."

"Leaf water. ...Well, I suppose it's not wrong." The skeleton chuckled, settling beside you.

You sat and chatted about this and that for a long time, contemplating the meaning of life was or twice, arguing over the characterization of Bilbo in the Hobbit, which you had recently introduced him to, before it got truly dark outside. 

You giggled when the skeleton yawned in the middle of a sentence, causing him to flush. 

"Geez, if you're tired, feel free to head off to bed, I can walk home in the dark."

"No, no, stay."

"You sure?"

"Of course. Here." 

He led you to lie down, head in his lap. You blinked up at him while he smiled down at you. He chuckled at your surprise.

"Hey, wait, you were the tired one."

"Oh? Was I? Well, I surely can wait. Feel free to sleep."

"... Right here. Like this."

"Where else?"

"God, you're too good for this world. Thanks, though. Your lap is oddly comfortable."

"... I'll take that as compliment."

You chatted for a while longer, but eventually dozed off. He smiled tiredly at the content, relaxed expression you wore, running a hand gently over your cheek. He chuckled when you made a face at the contact. 

Carefully, he slipped off his gloves, then returned his hands to you. One gently smoothed your hair, the other rested on the warm, gently curve of your cheek. He was a tad nervous about it at first, but relaxed when you hummed and nuzzled at the touch. He smiled down at you, so calm and at peace in his hands. For a time, he listened to the quiet noises you made, mingling with the crickets singing outside the walls. 

"Cure the incurable disease, hm...?" 

His gaze shifted to a bookshelf and, with a wave of his hand, a photo album drifted over and flipped to a worn page. He plucked a picture from its protective sleeve, turning it so it caught the light.

It was a picture of Gaster. He was with a group of people you don't know. He looks happy.

"... Two birds of a feather, I suppose."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't quote me on those statistics, by the way. I'm pretty sure at least half of them are right, but... I'm not a doctor, so, uh...


	10. More like dropped lines, amiright?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this is bad, it's a side affect of me forcing myself to write while I'm tripping every single ball right now. I've got some sort of sinus infection and the over the counter stuff for it makes me kind of loopy. Oop.

Some time had passed since you had introduced Gaster to Taylor and their story. Things had gone ever smoothly, even when you told Doppelgänger the simplified story of what happened all those years ago. He was surprisingly understanding and told you you'd probably been the one constant in your lost friend's last months and therefore a highlight to it all. It'd even managed for bring you closer to the monster duo.

Especially the skeleton.

He'd been a tad awkward as of late, making up excuses to leave early at times, flustering easily and being all around distracted, but you'd brushed it off as some monster thing. Doppler didn't seem concerned. Maybe monsters just had things where they wanted to be alone in the same way humans sometimes did. He'd come around eventually.

The dandelion sitting on the windowsill was very, very ready for wishing, all nice and perfectly round and fluffy. Humming, you carefully tweezed one of the seeds away and tucked it into a new pot you'd gotten. You weren't sure why, but you wanted to keep the plants legacy going. With that done, you dropped a bit of water onto the soil, then placed gently onto the windowsill beside it's mother plant. You smiled at them, hoping for once you could actually successfully grow something.

"... Songbird?" 

You blinked, turning to the skeleton standing a little father down the counter. He looked oddly nervous, a smile making his eyes strain slightly as his cheeks were dusted darker. Did he feel okay? "What's up, Doc? You okay?" 

"Y-yes. A-ah, um... You're so cute you make my zygomaticus muscles contract...?" He flushed yet darker, fiddling with his fingers as if anxious.

It took a few seconds for you to remember where you'd heard that term before. Weren't those the muscles that made you smile? You flashed him a grin. "Aw, thanks, doc! I could say the same to you!"

Was he... sweating? He looked almost crestfallen, if still flustered. Maybe even more so. "A-ah. Th-thank you, songbird."

"No prob. Hey, you okay? You look a little bothered."

"No, no! I'm most alright!" He abruptly turned back to what he'd been doing, one gloved hand coming up to tug at his turtlenecked collar absently as he let out a puff of air. 

You cocked an eyebrow, but didn't question it further as you went about your usual routine of getting nothing important done. You had pulled out your laptop and had opened a nearly finished essay when he cleared his nonexistent throat beside you. You looked up, eyebrows raised.

"E-even if there wasn't gravity on earth, I-I would still fall for you...?" He looked so nervous. It made you kind of concerned.

"Um... I never took you to be the clumsy type."

He turned back to what he was doing. You did as well. Doppelgänger came back from some errand after a while.

"... The direction fields of my heart all point to you."

That sounded like a major problem. "Um. You might wanna get that checked out."

More silence. 

"Y-you must be an electron because I've got my ion you...?"

His eye on you? Why, though? "... I'm not even working with anything sharp? I can't hurt myself on a laptop, doc...?"

"R-right. Yes. Of course." He cleared his throat, looking very dark in the face. "Um, if you will excuse us for a moment..." He quite literally grabbed Doppelgänger and swept out of the room, leaving you confused and alone. 

"O...kay?"

Out in the hall, the skeleton rounded on the gray shapeshifter, smile so tense it caused his eyes to crinkle uncomfortably. His hands posed halfway up, quivering as if stressed. He was blushing furiously, sweat on his brow.

"Doppelgänger, you said this would work."

The gray monster cracked an uncertain grin, raising his heads in defense. "Hey, come on, don't blame me."

"It's not working like you said it would." The skeleton hissed out, looking to be on the brink of snapping in two due to stress.

"D-doc, chill! So they're a bit more oblivious then I thought they would be. We can work around this."

"I'm doomed." 

"If pick-up lines aren't working, then maybe you just need to figure out how to ask them out in your own way."

"Doppelgänger, I have never so much as tried my hand at any thing remotely of this sort, let alone of this caliber. I came to you for help for a reason."

"Hey, pick up lines worked on me. I don't know what to tell ya. Just... Do whatever feels right? I mean... Uh... Just... Do whatever comes to mind. I don't know. I'm not exactly practiced in this either."

The skeleton sighed, burying his head in his hands. "I'm hopeless."

"You'll figure something out. Give it a few days, maybe you'll think of something."

"I'm utterly doomed."


	11. Echo Flowers

The skeleton stood in front of the familiar apartment building, looking both hesitant and uncertain. He turned his attention to the large bunch of faintly glowing blue flowers wrapped up in one of his arms, conflicted, then held up a single, fluffy dandelion head in his other.

He studied it carefully for a moment, then let out a sigh that ruffled the feathered seeds. "... Here's to hoping." He whispered, the words just a faint flutter on the breeze. Then, he gave a single breath and the seeds scattered in the air, leaving a bald stem in between his fingers.

He watched the seeds catch on the air and drift away into the darkness before turning back to the foreboding building in front of him and walking up the steps.

 

Who the fuck knocks at your door in the middle of the night? 

You grumbled, rolling from bed and heading for the door without so much as checking your hair or changing into something other then a plain t-shirt and baggy shorts. You shuffled across the floor, then grabbed the doorknob just as whoever it was knocked again. You pulled the door open, blinking into awareness as you spotted who was on the other side.

"Gaster? It's, like, late am." You squinted in confusion, watching as he shifted a bundle of large, blue flowers from one hand to the other. 

He was sweating, blushing furiously, and if you weren't mistaken his hands were shaking slightly. He gave you a smile nonetheless, then plucked one of the flowers from the group and passed it to you.

"I'm not good with working in the moment, so I hope this works for you instead. Here goes nothing." It spoke in his voice, making you look at it in surprise, then back up at him. 

All he did was pass you another.

"You have probably noticed my change in behavior recently. The reason for that is..." 

And another.

"I am not practiced in this sort of thing. I could even go so far as to say that you are the first I have truly felt this way for."

Another.

"Now, I know you deserve better then an old skeleton like myself. I could understand if you rejected me."

"But, I wish for you to know that you need remember not to devalue yourself. You are amazing and deserve no less then the best."

"And it would make many, many people- myself included- if you graced them with your affections."

"I find you to be a treasure. A songbird in a sea of crows. You make me feel so alive- you make me look forward to seeing each and every day I can see you. And for that, I am grateful."

"Thank you for all the times you've spent with me. They've truly been something I will remember."

"However."

"I wish to ask..."

"If you perhaps would make me the happiest old skeleton this side of Pluto and possibly consider being mine?" 

"I guess what I'm trying to say is..."

He handed you the last one.

"My love for you is like the universe."

"... Infinite and ever expanding." It was Gaster himself that finished it off. He was smiling at you through adoring eyes, but you could still see the sweat glistening on his brow. 

You couldn't believe what you'd just heard. Your cheeks were on fire. Your mind was both blank and bustling with information.

Gaster- THE W. D. Gaster!- had just confessed his feelings for you, through flowers, no less. It was like something straight out a dream, but more then you could have ever hoped. You'd been harboring your own feelings for him yourself, but had been loath to admit it for fear of scaring him away. Doppler had encouraged you to try and confess more then once, but you had refused.

And here was your crush, admitting he felt the same way via parroting flowers. 

It took you a good second to realize you hadn't said anything yet. He was looking increasingly scared, you noticed. Quickly adjusting the flowers, you glanced around as if looking for something to say.

"G-Gaster. Do you really... feel that way?"

He was shaking nervously, hands wringing. "W-well, yes. O-of course." His gaze flickered around briefly, then he sighed in some form of resignation. "Let me... show you." 

He grabbed your chin in his fingers carefully, leaning close. If anymore blood rushed to your face, you might die. He brushed his mouth to your cheek in a feather light kiss, then drew away, looking bluer then you'd ever seen him.

You quickly put the flowers on the table beside the door, then grabbed his own face and returned the gesture, pressing your lips to his cheekbone. Then you drew away, giving a jittery smile.

"G-goodness!" He covered his cheeks with his hands, blinking at you in shock as if he couldn't believed you'd just done that.

"I, uh, would very much like to be yours, Doc." You smiled sheepishly, twiddling with your hands. "I, um, kind of felt the same for a while, but I was never very good at this either, so..." You shrugged helplessly.

"Oh." He blinked, seemingly calming down, a soft and tender look replacing his surprised one. 

"Would you like... to come in?"

"A-ah. Yes, thank you." 

He sat in your living room while you got a vase to put the flowers in. You came back after a moment, setting it on the coffee table. You sat next to him, unsure of what to do.

"So, uh. The flowers? They were... really, really rad."

"Echo flowers. I did think you would like them." He was fiddling with his fingers, looking as uncertain as you felt. An idea came to mind.

"Hey, let me see your hands." 

He obliged, curiously. You pulled off his gloves, which he turned a little darker at, then examined them slowly. He watched you as you studied all the little nooks and crannies between his phalanges, tracing your fingers over parts. It made him more then a little flustered and he quietly marveled at how soft and warm your skin was. 

"Hm." You raised an eyebrow, then, looking up to meet his gaze briefly, turned one of this hands so the palm was facing you and stuck two of your fingers through the hole. "Boop." You grinned cheekily.

"H-hey!" He quickly drew his hand away, playfully frowning at you.

You giggled, flashing him a smile. "Sorry. Always wanted to do that." He seemed to ponder putting his gloves back on. "Hey, no, leave them off. I like your hands."

"They don't... bother you?" He hesitantly met your gaze.

"No. They're like my favorite thing. Holes or not, they're still you. I like everything about you."

He just looked at you for a few moments and you wondered if you'd said something wrong. Then he leaned forward and his mouth briefly brushed yours before he pulled away. He looked both very happy and very flustered. 

"Good. I like everything about you, as well."

You laughed, giving him a tired smile before leaning against him. He carefully, tenderly leaned his head against yours, hand finding your own. You eventually dozed off, and some time after he did too, relief and happiness filling his soul to the brim as you reclined against each other. 

He would have to tell you that wishing on dandelions really did work sometime after you woke.


	12. A/N

AUTHORS NOTE!

 

The rest of this fic will probably just consist of Gaster and Reader doing couple things since it doesn't really have a plot. If there's something you would particularly like to see, leave a prompt in the comments! 

No smut. That's never happening. Don't even try.

Have a lovely day!


	13. No cuddling in the lab

A few weeks had passed since you and Gaster had gotten together. You'd kept it under the radar of Doppelgänger for hopes of keeping teasing at bay, at least for now. Also you had no idea how to go about telling him. That might have had something to do with it. 

The two flower pots on the windowsill were thriving, a small sprout already poking up from the newer one. You tended to it carefully, but something felt... off about it. You reminded yourself to grab some books on botany on the way home sometime.

You were currently a tad worried over a certain essay your teacher had assigned. And by a tad you meant you had no chill at all. 

"I don't know how this works! No one knows how this works! Do you know how this works? No? I told you!" You slammed your head down against the countertop just as a certain skeleton came back from the north wing. He quickly set down whatever he was holding to come up and make sure you hadn't given yourself a concussion.

"Songbird, are you alright?" He put a hand to your back, the other gently raising your head up so he could check how bad of a mark the impact had left. He made a face when he saw it was already turning faintly red. "You must be more careful, you'll seriously hurt yourself one of these days." He chastised, already running water over a towel.

"I would say I hope I do, but even then my professor wouldn't let up about this dumb essay." You hissed quietly when he pressed the cool rag to your forehead, but let him hold it there for several moments.

"Another essay?"

"Yeah, that's what I said, too."

"It seems all you do is essays." He seemed to sniff slightly, turning up his nose just a bit. You'd nearly forgotten; you'd recently had to turn down one of his invitations to go out for a walk around town because you were busy with this same essay. It seemed he was still upset about it. 

"Nah, it's just all you hear me complain about. This one especially. I dislike science now. All because of this one essay."

"You're being dramatic." Came Doppler's voice from where he was cleaning up out some equipment at one of the sinks.

"Fight me."

"What's this one about, hm?" Gaster peered at your computer screen, picking up the requirement sheet beside it with a curious glance. "Hm. Oh, I see. I could help you with this. I was just reading up on the human nervous system."

"Wait, really? Oh my god, you're a life saver. Here, you sit, I'll work here."

For a good hour, you and the skeleton bounced things off each other and he corrected your terminology more then once, making you slightly embarrassing. He waved it off with a cute chuckle each time, encouraging you throughout the process. It was when you stopped to roll your neck and shoulders that he grew somewhat concerned.

"Are you alright? Are you in pain?"

"Not really. I mean, a bit, but that's just a side effect of essays in general." You put a hand to your neck, wincing when you found a knot there. "Mostly just aches from hunching over the computer, that's all."

"Do you wish to sit?"

"Nah, I'm-"

"I insist."

"Gast, you're sitting already! And I don't want to... inconvenience? Yeah, I think that would work. I don't want to inconvenience you just because of my dumb essay."

"Please, I insist-"

"I insist you sit!" 

For a moment you had a small stare off. Then he sighed in resignation. "Alright, if that is what you wish. But you still must sit." 

"Um, how? There's only one spinny chair." You shot him am incredulous look.

He smiled innocently despite the blush rising in his cheeks, turning the chair to face you and patting his lap. 

For a second you just stared at him, then you flushed bright red. "Um, Gast-"

He simply beckoned your forward and, with a wave of his hand, your laptop slid to be in front of him instead of beneath your fingers. When you still hesitated, he opened his arms invitingly, smiling through dark cheeks all the while.

With one last nervous glance, you took a deep breath. "Yeah, okay, alright." 

You went over and, briefly hesitating, sat yourself in his rather comfortable lap. Your hands found the keyboard now level with your elbows, relieving some of the tension in your shoulders. Gaster's arms settled calmly beside you, hands folded gently in your own lap. 

Doppelgänger gawked from where he was standing a few yards away. 

"Since... /when/ did this happen?!" Shooting both you and the doctor shocked looks, he gestured hopelessly at the scene.

You could feel Gaster chuckle behind you. It made your cheeks feel yet hotter. "Oh, when was it, songbird? How many weeks?"

"Three, I think?" 

"And-and you didn't tell me?!"

"Obviously not."

"I can't believe you guys."

"I can never believe me."

With that, you settled into a new pattern. Gaster's head was soon on your shoulder, correcting little mistakes you made while you typed them and humming every so often. Eventually his arms went from relaxing beside you to wrapping gently around you, making you flustered at first, but the feeling dissolved as you focused once more.

"You're doing very well. You've already gotten so much done." He murmured quietly into your hair at one point. 

"All thanks to you, really." You flushed when his teeth brushed the back of your neck in a light kiss. He chuckled lightly when he noticed you stiffen slightly beneath him, pressing another kiss to the back of your head as compensation. 

"Doppelgänger, boy, I've been looking every where for you!" A familiar voice suddenly burst your calm little bubble, making you groaned internally.

"I'm where I've always been, sir." Doppler answered in a chillingly polite tone, turning to the door from where he was propped up beside you.

"I need you to get something from the north wing for me. Where is your little friend today?" 

Gaster, huffing quietly behind you, spun the chair around with one swift movement. He didn't retract his hands from around you or move to make you get up, instead raising an eyebrow as Frederick blinked in surprise for a moment.

"Yo, whatcha need?" You answered bluntly.

He quickly recovered, a glint in his eye telling you about what was to come. "Oh, I simply need some of the samples you snuck from my lab yesterday, but I'm sure your friend here can retrieve them for you. Wouldn't want to interrupt you, would we?"

"Nah, probably not. I'm working on an essay and doc here was helping me out."

"Ah, yes. Helping you out." A smile appeared from behind his beard as he lifted his eyes to meet Gaster's gaze. "My, I'm bet he's so glad to be able to assist you."

"Yes, and I would be more then willing to assist you to the door, if you so wished." Gaster promptly responded, a small Petri dish appearing in Frederick's hands. "That is all you needed, yes? Have a good day." The bearded man, with a startled expression, was turned around and pushed out by an unseen force. The door closed behind him.

For a moment, there was silence. 

"Welp, I'm guessing this means I don't have to go to the north wing for him. Score."

"Gast, I know he's a butt, but that wasn't nice. You're gonna get me kicked out."

"I'm sure he'll live. Now, what was the next thing we needed?"

With that, the doctor turned you back to the computer, leaning over your shoulder. When you chucked and shook your head, he planted a quick kiss to your cheek in some form of apology.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want to see any scenario in particular? Leave a comment!


	14. Gaster is mother hen confirmed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am tired as fuck tbh,, expect to see typos I missed. I can't even words right now.

"You look like a wreck. Or, more so then usual."

You chuckled drily, through the action hurt your sore throat. "Gee, thanks."

"No problem. Seriously thought, what's up, you feeling okay?"

"Is it really that obvious? I woke up feeling kind of bad and decided to walk it off and got increasingly worse. So, uh. Genius move on my part there." A sneeze. "It's just a cold, though. I promise." You leaned unsteadily against table, head spinning slightly. 

Doppler, watching you uneasily, snorted in obvious disbelief. "Uh, yeah, whatever you say. Doc's gonna flip his shit when he finds out, though."

"Finds out what?"

You looked up blearily, blinking to focus. Gaster was standing in the doorway, looking curious with a slight smile quirking his skeletal face. His gaze swept the lab before coming to rest on you. He quickly blanched, smile disappearing as worry filled his eyes.

"H-hey there, Gast. How's it going?"

"My goodness, songbird, are you alright?" He quickly swept to your side, a hand finding your cheek and just as quickly pulling away. "Goodness, you're hot. Are you feeling okay?"

"I always knew I was quite the looker." You shot him an attempt at a flirty wink, which ended with you putting a hand to your head, trying to stop the pounding headache. "'M fine, doc. It's just a cold."

"A... cold?"

"Y-yeah. It's like... You feel kinda bad, but you're not contagious and are still required to work anyway, kinda illness? You know the kind." You closed your eyes, trying to stop the room from twirling. "The next kind is like... the flu. You have a fever and can infect other people so you get like... days off and stuff."

"Oh, dear..." The skeleton, looking somewhat perplexed, was still hovering close. He was watching you as if you would combust at any moment.

"Don't worry about it, though, I'm pretty sure it's not..." You trailed off, blinking your eyes open and standing still for a moment. Then, you calmly turned and reached under a counter, pulling out a trash can, and promptly emptied your stomach.

Doppelgänger could have fainted. Humans were gross. He wrinkled his face and quickly turned away, shielding you from sight with a hand.

Gaster, on the other hand, was panicking. He was like, 99% sure humans weren't supposed to do that. He hastily hurried to your side, unsure what to do, when you sat in your usual spiny chair, clutching your head. 

"... Okay, yeah, it's probably the flu." 

"W-what should i do? Do you require assistance of any kind? Should I take you to the hospital?" Gaster pressed one of his hands to your forehead, wincing at how hot the skin was. 

"Um. Water would be pretty rad right about now. Also, no, no hospital please."

Gaster turned and nodded to Doppler who, though still thoroughly grossed out, proceeded to fish out a plastic water bottle from the machine down the hall. You downed a large quantity slowly, sighing in relief after. 

"Thanks for that."

"What should I do? You said you were required to stay at home during the duration of the 'flu...?'"

"Uh, yeah, I should probably get home before I get my gross germs all over- AH." 

Gaster, pulling off his large, black coat, scooped you up and wrapped you in it. He straightened to his full height with you carefully in his arms, heading for the door. He seemed faintly blushed and appeared to be sweating slightly, casting you anxious glances.

"Um, I think I could walk to my place on my own-"

"Nonsense. You're much too vulnerable for that. Besides, you will be staying where I can take care of you until I am certain you are healed." He pushed the door open with a shoulder, nodding to Doppler who nodded in agreement as a response. 

As you were speed-walked down the hall, you tried to focus. "And that would be...?"

"Why, my home, of course."

"Oh." A few moments passed. "Do you even have a spare bedroom?"

"Why, no." He raised an eyebrow, casting you a glance. "Whatever for?"

"Um, I don't think a couch is the best place for me right now."

"Couch? No, no, no. You'll be staying in my bed." He said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, but worry tinged his tone.

Your cheeks burned hotter and it was then you realized you felt very, very warm. "Gast, really, you can take me to my place, I'll be fine. It's not like this is the first time I've been like this."

He seemed to skip a beat, almost tripping somewhat. "It's not?! And you didn't tell me?!" He seemed on the brink of panic, picking up the pace again.

"The most recent time was, like... Last year. Before I met you?"

"How long has this been happening?!"

"Gast, it's just... a usual thing for humans. Most people get it... at least once a year. Sometimes every other year. It's just how we are." You shrugged, head swimming. You let it flop to the side and rest against his ribcage. 

"That is very distressing. I knew humans were fragile, but not so much as this." He seemed to grimace, casting you a concerned glance. "How are you feeling? Explain it to me. I need to know how to help."

"Um, well, technically you could just... Google what to do for a flu. But personally, I feel... pretty much like garbage."

"I need more detail then that." He gripped you somewhat tighter and you started to recognize some landmarks near his home. 

"Um. Head feels... swirly. And hurty. Also I might throw up if you keep this pace up." He hesitantly slowed, albeit slightly. "Everything feels like... my head is full of fluff. And I'm really heavy. Also I might cough up my left lung pretty soon."

"What?!" He visibly panicked, blanching at the words. Okay, maybe not the best time for jokes.

"Figure of speech. Let me rephrase that. I might... cough a lot really hard pretty soon."

He closed his eyes, drawing a deep breath. "Please, don't frighten me so. Lungs are very important. It would be dire if you were to lose one."

"Yeah, i know." You sneezed. While he found it oddly adorable, it also concerned him. He had no idea what to do about an ill human! Monsters were so different- there was a slim gap between 'illnesses' that could kill and ones that were only troublesome. There was no in-between. This was foreign to him.

You sputtered and coughed and he hastened his steps once again, soon unlocking and opening his door with a flick of magic. He swiftly carried you down the hall and into his bedroom- a room you'd never been in. Books were scattered everywhere, but they straightened into stacks here and there as you watched, moved by an unseen source save for the faint, black glow around them.

He lowered you to his bed, pulling back the blankets to slip you under. He gently unraveled his coat from around you and tossed it onto a chair nearby, soon forgotten. He tapped his fingers together worriedly, gaze flicking over you as if instructions on how to cure the flu were written on your skin. 

"... What should I do?" He finally asked hesitantly.

"Um. I dunno. Normally I just sit at home and eat then throw up ramen until I get better." You scratched at your cheek, sitting up amongst the blanket coiled around you. Gaster's room smelled of clean linen and old books. It was... nice.

Gaster visibly cringed. 

"I'd ask google, not me. I just own the body, I don't know how it works." You shrugged, opting to nibble at one of your finger nails. You sniffled, trying to conjure up a complete thought through the pounding of your head. "Actually, some Tylenol would be nice. My head is killing me."

Gaster wrung his hands, looking around as if hoping some Tylenol would appear on one of the bookshelves. "I... I'll see what I can do. Here, you lie down..." He gently pressed you back into the pillows, more appearing from a closet to nestle around you in seconds. "... and I will... consult Google while I search for some Tylenol. Do not stand. Stay here."

And, anxious as a mother hen, he swept out of the room. You would have laughed if it weren't for your eyes now deciding to water insistently. At the very least, his pillows smelled like him. You bundled one up and pressed your face into it.

He didn't find any Tylenol. He was soon hunched over in a chair beside the bed, tapping his foot worriedly while waiting for Google to load. He scrolled through the first few websites anxiously.

"It says... Tylenol and ibuprofen work best for aches and pains... Lots of... fluids? Water, preferably. If symptoms persist, see a doctor." He looked up at you, looking like he'd chewing his nails if he had any. "How long have you been feeling like this?"

"It only got bad around noon. So, like. A few hours. Don't call the doctor. I don't like doctor's offices." 

He scrunched his face worriedly, making the cracks of his eyes crinkle. "... If you insist." He turned back to the phone in his hand. "It says soup is a safe food to eat as it will not upset the stomach too much. I'll get some soup while I'm out. What kind is best? Which is your favorite? Do you even like soup? Is it healthy? Would monster food work to help heal you faster?" He tapped his foot a few more times, then stood and grabbed his coat again. "I'll be back as quickly as I can. Do not stand up. No extraneous movements. If something hurts, don't move. I'll be back shortly."

And then he was gone. Poof. Dust in the wind. 

He needed a chill pill, even if it was endearing to see him so worried. He was going to snap in two due to the tension of stressing himself out that much. Sure, being looked after was nice, but this was kind of ridiculous.

He returned... ten? Fifteen? minutes later, laden with bags containing what appeared to be the stores entire supply of canned soup. Also Tylenol and ibuprofen. Some of the bags weren't even in his hands, they were just floating idly around him as if held by hands you couldn't see. You had gotten up when you heard the door open, and watched him lower the numerous bags to the kitchen floor and start fishing through them, picking up one every now and then.

"Um. Wow."

His head snapped to see you leaning against the doorframe, a tad lopsided. "What are you doing up? I thought I told you to stay in the bed!" He rushed over as if to push you back into the bed by hand. 

"Chill, Gast. I'm fine, just... uncomfortable, I guess. I won't spontaneously combust just from standing here. In other news, that's, uh, a lot of soup."

He turned back to the mess, soon pulling out several bottles of Tylenol and ibuprofen. "Yes, I wasn't sure which kind you preferred or which you liked best, so I got... all of them. There was quite the variety and I panicked. I think the human at the cash register thought I was crazy." He ducked his head sheepishly, face turning dark blue. You came up and gave him a comforting pat on the back, picking up one of the cans.

"Well, I'm flattered. You might wanna keep the receipt, though- hey, wow, I haven't had this in forever! I used to love this stuff." You turned one over in your hand, looking it over. He just as quickly recovered from his brief embarrassment, looking up to catch a glance at whichever you were looking at. 

"Really?"

"Well, yeah. I don't know why I stopped getting it, actually. Maybe I just got tired of it, I dunno. It's been a long time." He pulled it from your grasp, soon reading the instructions. 

"Hm... Let's get you back into bed. I'll fix this while you take some Tylenol and ibuprofen. Here, I'll get you some water." 

You popped open the bottle of Tylenol, tipping two into your hand before a tall glass of water was placed beside you. "Thanks, Gast."

"Anything for you, songbird. Now get back to bed. You'll make yourself worse." He hushed you, escorting you down the hall and back into the bed. After a moment, he draped some more blankets over you as if hoping that would help. "Now, stay this time. ...Please."

"Yeah, alright." You sighed, sinking into the pillowy goodness pressing gently against your head and shoulders. He disappeared down the hall, and returned a moment later with several glasses of water, reminding you you needed to stay hydrated. Yeah, okay, Gaster may be a tad over the top with it, but it was adorable.

You were dozing off by the time he returned again, carrying a steaming bowl of soup. When you mentioned how nice and hot it was, he offered to handle the spoon for you. 

"Um. What? Like, I kind of need the spoon to eat it, Gast."

"Not if I was doing it for you."

Ohhhhhhhh. 

Oh.

You flushed, glancing away. "Um, no, I can feed myself. Thanks, though."

"Are you sure? If it is uncomfortable, I can do it for you. It would be no trouble." He fiddled with his fingers nervously, leaning forward so his elbows rested on his crossed knees. He came across as very... feminine at times.

"No, no, I'm good."

"Well, if you're certain. Be sure to eat it all. You must keep up your strength, otherwise you might get worse." 

"Yeah, alright."

By the time you finished off the soup and he'd taken the bowl away, you were getting drowsy again. 

"Are you feeling alright, songbird? Any worse?"

"Better, actually. Tylenol did what it's 'sposed to. Doesn't hurt so much." You hummed out, sneezing.

"Good. Good. If you are tired, sleep. Sleep is important." You peered up at him from behind the mass of pillows and blankets, contemplating.

"Read to me." You said bluntly after a moment. He blinked, cheekbones turning faintly darker.

"What?"

"You've got like... a hundred books. Read to me. I like your voice. Is soothing."

He blushed yet darker, looking flustered. "... If that is what you want. Any genre in particular?"

"Nah, just read. It's nice when you sing, so reading must be great."

He quickly turned away to hide his now truly blue cheeks, running a finger over the spines of a stack of books. He paused, then pulled one out. "It is one from the underground, a fictional tale of how monsters imagined the surface would be, a story for children. I hope you don't mind."

"Shush and read."

He chuckled, flipping the book open. "Let's see... Ah." He leaned back into the chair, seeming comforted by the book in his hands. "I had never had the chance to smell the rain, but I imagined it would be like the smell of damp earth and wet stone I found in Waterfall. I was mistaken. It all happened very suddenly, one day..."

You had been right. His voice was like a massage to the brain. He read for a long time, though you were still half conscious when he stopped. He seemed to study you a moment before carefully standing, seemingly thinking you were asleep.

"... Gaaaaast. Where ya goin'?" 

He froze. "It's late. I was going to leave you to sleep in peace. Is there something you need?" His voice turned concerned and he leaned forward, hand finding one of yours. Oddly enough, he was glove-less and didn't seem to notice or be bothered by it.

"Yeah. You."

You could practically hear the record scratch in his mind. "W-what?"

"Stay with me. This is your bed, after all. Come on." You tugged on his hand as he flushed almost black. 

"S-songbird, surely you would sleep better if I-"

"Shut up and get over here."

He hesitated, but went around the bed and edged slowly onto the other side of it, lying on his side stiffly. He was sweating and seemed very flustered. 

"Chill out. You're fine. C'mere." You grabbed at the front of his shirt, soon resting your head against his ribs. You could hear the faint, rapid beating of what could only be the monster equivalent of a heart. You pulled back a little to look up at him, watching you nervously. 

You reached a hand up and ran the tip of your thumb up one of his cracks. He visibly shuddered at the touch, closing his eyes. You quickly pulled your back.

"Sorry."

"No, no, it's just... sensitive. They don't... bother you?" He cracked his eyes open, gaze searching yours.

"Nah. Makes me wonder how you got them though. Also I kind of want to kiss them sometimes."

He quickly flustered all over again, hiding his cheeks behind a hand and looking away. "G-goodness."

"Is this okay?"

"Hm?"

"Lying here with you like this. Make you uncomfortable?" You were slowly falling asleep, but you didn't want him to feel he had to stay.

"No, no. In fact, it's rather... nice." 

"Hm. Glad."

"Sleep, songbird. I'll be here if you need anything."

"Mmkay." 

You dozed off. He watched you for several moments, then gently drew you into his arms, sighing into your hair. You'd scared him, for sure. He was relieved you seemed to be feeling better. Relaxing, he kept his arms around you lightly even as a flustered but happy blush rose to his cheeks.

While some things about humans still confused him, he could certainly appreciate moments like this.


	15. Slightly nsfw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, it's mostly harmless ;)

Doppelgänger was coming back from getting something from the West wing for his skeletal friend. He was occupied reading a label over a few times, so when he put a hand on the doorknob and pushed the door slightly open, he was not prepared for what he heard. He froze, not daring to move a muscle.

"Gaaaaaaster." That was you. It sounded very... very much like a moan.

"Mhmm?" The skeleton sounded amused. Sly, almost.

"That fee-eels amazing." You panted out. He could practically hear you close your eyes in bliss. 

No. No way were you doing- 

"Ah~! Do that again." You suddenly gasped out. 

He really shouldn't be here.

"Do what again?" Was the doctor... teasing you? 

"Ga-ah!-ster, please." You panted out, sounding desperate.

"You'll have to tell me what to do, dear. You know I'm not very practiced in this sort of thing." Oh, he most certainly was teasing you. He could hear his smirk from here.

"Gast, you're doing that on purrrrrpose~!" A shaky sigh from you.

"You'll have to tell me what you want, dear." 

"D-do that again. A little to the left- ah, yes~!" 

A groan of content from you. He really should just leave, but his legs were frozen in place and refused to move.

"Gaaaaaster."

"Yes, dear?" 

"Press harder."

"Oh, you mean like this?"

"Mmmm, yes, exactly like that."

He was going to faint. 

"Ah! Please, not so hard there." You suddenly yelped out, sounding somewhat pained.

"Did I hurt you? Should I stop?" Gaster's usual tone returned, worried and tender.

"No, no, just be careful, it's sensitive there... Yesssss, that's much better."

He really, really, really should be leaving.

"Ah, Gast. Your fingers are magic." 

"Are they now?"

"Mmmh- ah!"

A deep chuckle from Gaster. "You make the most interesting sounds, songbird."

Nothing but a sigh from you.

"I'll have to experiment with that later, hm?"

"If it meant more of this, yesssssss."

Okay, he could stand it no longer! He wasn't one to kinkshame, but this was just unsanitary! The lab was meant for research purposes, not... that! 

He shoved the door open before he could back out. What greeted him nearly made him faint all over again. 

Both of you looked up in surprise. Gaster was bent over you on one of the countertops,

Fully clothed, hands at your shoulders in a massaging position. 

"Doppelgänger, are you alright? You're looking a tad... flustered. Did they have what I asked you to retrieve?" 

Slamming the bottle down and dashing out the door with a shouted "I'm calling in sick see you tomorrow" thrown over his shoulder, Doppelgänger attempted to force down the blazing blush coating his face. Never again, he hoped, would he have to deal with... that. He really needed to get his mind out of the gutter.

"... What's gotten into him?"

"I don't have a clue."

"Hm."

...

"So, uh. Massage?"

"Anything for you, songbird."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not planning on ever writing smut. Okay? Okay. Case closed.


	16. Fight me, literally

You and Gaster had planned a night on the town. And by night on the town, you meant you'd probably just go to a restaurant then walk around for a bit then go home. 'Night on the town' sounded better then 'getting food then wandering around with no purpose for a bit.'

It was nice at first. Walking to the restaurant, side by side, in the slowly warming air. Gaster seemed a bit flustered and it took you a bit to understand why; this was your first official 'date.' You still only held hands or got 'affectionate' (you gave him kisses on the cheek, he got flustered for several minutes) in private or around Doppelgänger, so this was something new. He was timid about relationship stuff, but you were content to take it slow. Relationships had never been your thing, so jumping in head first seemed like a bad idea. God knows, you might make something explode or something.

"So, what kind of food does this place have again?"

"I'm... not entirely sure. Doppelgänger recommended it. He said it wasn't very bad."

"Hm. Well, that could either be great or just bizarre; with him, there is no in-between. His tastes in food are beyond me." 

Gaster chuckled, holding the door for you. "Well, let's hope it's the former, then."

The woman who saw you to a table was kind enough, though you caught her staring at Gaster for just a bit longer then necessary. Like, yeah, he was adorable, no need to be rude. Bitch.

Sitting at the table for two, a candle between you doing little to help the dimmed lights, you opened up the menu. It seemed they were a jack of all trades; there wasn't any kind of food they seemed to sell specifically, just lots of different things. When you finally lowered the menu, you realized Gaster seemed... flustered. He was faintly flushed, fidgeting, and... Was he sweating? 

"You okay there, Gast?" You leaned forward, putting an elbow on the table. He waved you away, soon burying his face into his own menu. Yeah, okay, he was nervous. Maybe it was the romantic-ish(?) atmosphere getting to him or just the date thing, but he was nervous. You started up a conversation about magiscience, which quickly drew him back into his comfort zone and he visibly relaxed as he spoke. 

A waiter came up, smiling at first, which quickly melted into something akin to an annoyed expression. He forced a friendly tone, asking what drinks you wanted and if you were ready to order. The fuck is your problem, bro?

"Water, thanks." You said flatly, already peeved. He turned to look at the doctor, expression souring more.

"And you?" It came out as irritated. If Gaster noticed, he wasn't too bothered by it. The man seemed to roll his eyes when Gaster asked for the same you had, then asked if you knew what you wanted.

Oddly enough, you both ordered spaghetti. 

You glared after the waiter as he left, hoping he would spontaneously combust so you could get a different one. Gaster caught the look on your face and, while somewhat startled and faintly confused by the change in your demeanor, found it... cute, in a way. He'd never seen you be anything other then relaxed in any given situation; sure, you had been annoyed before, but always in a laid back way, taking whatever came your way with stride. To see a different side of you was... unexpected. 

As the night went on- you smiling condescendingly kindly when the waiter came by with your water, telling him everything was absolutely fine with you when he asked if you needed anything, but your boyfriend might need something so why don't you ask him, as well- you got increasingly passive aggressive towards the waiter. When the man gently lowered your plate to the table, but more or less shoved Gaster's onto the table and feigned caring with a 'Careful, it might be hot!', your smile curdled into one of loathing fueled irritation. 

As soon as the waiter was gone, you'd go back to your usual ways, chatting about this and that at random. It didn't take long for Gaster to realize the cause of your strife- him. Or, rather, the man's behavior towards him. The thought sent a pleased little thrill through him; you cared enough that to see other people treating him poorly brought out a side he'd never seen before. You'd never behaved this way toward Frederick, but then, he'd only ever aimed his own backhanded comments towards you. You had never seemed to mind others bashing you; others bashing people you cared for, however...

"So, how's your spaghetti?" You gave him a smile, putting an elbow on the table again. You looked nice in this light, he noted with a smile.

"Not bad, but I wouldn't have minded more cheese." He admitted, putting his fork down. 

"So you're a cheese guy? Hm, duly noted." You winked, then laughed despite the fact that it did make him flustered. He loved how you laughed; joyous and carefree, a breath of fresh air wrapped up in a sound. 

Just then, the waiter approached again. He gave an obvious-not-smile, pretty much dropping the bill onto the table. "Please, come again." Then, muttered under his breath as he rolled his eyes, "Just leave the freak at home next time."

Before Gaster or the man could move, you had snatched up the bill, read it over with an exaggerated smile, then slapped the money down and turned to the waiter. 

"And next time, kindly leave yourself in the trash where you belong! The next time you want to act like such a despicable waste of space, do it where no one can see you." Your smile dissolved into a sneer. "Now, you can either walk away without a word, or meet me outside so I can make your face meet the pavement. Clear?"

The man, looking shocked and truly afraid, speed walked away as casually as he could.

Gaster blinked at you as you stared after the man until he was out of sight. That was... certainly not what he was expecting. And, as much as might have denied it, he found it...

Oddly attractive. 

You let out a breath, huffed out a "Sorry," then flashed him a smile. "You ready to blow this Popsicle stand?"

He quickly shook himself out of his daze. "A-ah, yes, I'm quite ready." 

You stood and he followed, twiddling with his hands as you walked out the door. Glancing at him out of the corner of your eye, you noticed that he was somewhat flushed, seemingly avoiding looking at you. You started to worry; had your little freak out freaked him out? You hadn't really thought that through.

"Hey, Gast? You alright there? Sorry if I, uh, embarrassed you."

He jumped, face turning darker. "No, no! It was- quite alright." 

Not convinced, you nodded anyway. The night went on as usual, but you ended up cutting it short as he seemed very distracted by something. You could only assume it was you blowing up at the waiter, leaving him embarrassed by you but too kind to admit it.

You stopped by the doors to your apartment building, giving him a smile. He returned it, though he was still faintly blushed.

"Thanks for going out with me, Gast. I had a good time, despite some... certain human beings that should be fired." You couldn't help but snarl a tad at the last bit, looking away as you glared into space.

"It was no trouble at all, songbird. I did enjoy myself, as well." He was blushing darker now, but took your hand and pressed his teeth to it, then gave you a smile.

Well, now was as good a time as any.

"You missed by a long shot."

"... What?" 

You grabbed the front of his turtleneck, pulling him down as you leaned up and planted your lips on his teeth. He froze and you feared it was too quick a move, but then he seemed to relax into it, hands coming up to your cheeks. After a moment, he pressed into it harder, tilting his head to the side. 

Eventually you drew away, taking a breath. He seemed dazed for a moment, then blinked and flushed the darkest you'd ever seen him. It made you chuckle, which made him hide his cheeks in his hands.

"G-goodness! I-I apologize for being so forward." He looked away, seemingly embarrassed.

"Nah, I kissed first. Don't apologize for getting into it." You shrugged despite your own cheeks being hot. You shot him a wink, wiggling your eyebrows. "Gotta say, though, you're a pretty good kisser." 

He could have melted right then and you wouldn't have been surprised. 

With one last kiss to the cheek, you smiled and waved before disappearing into the building. While it would take you quite some time to realize it, you would eventually notice that your angry side made him flustered and promptly use it against him, he was sure. And yet, he couldn't help himself; you were simply very attractive to him in whatever form you took. You were like a magnetic pole; you drew him to you with more then just looks.

And sometimes, yes, it was how you looked that drew him to you; what could he say, your angry faces were very cute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think someone wanted this. I'm not even sorry.


	17. Perhaps...

For the longest time, you went about thinking Gaster was the only monster that happened to look like a skeleton. You'd never had evidence to prove otherwise, and there were plenty of monsters that looked like no other. The thought didn't seem too far off from the realm of reality.

You were wrong, of course.

One day, walking to the building as you usually did after classes, you happened upon another skeleton. He was short and surprisingly round for someone made entirely of bone. While you would have loved to explore that, you were more concerned then anything. He was hunched in on himself, a hand clutching at his left eye while his face twisted into a grimace. While he could have been potentially dangerous, you couldn't just leave him there.

"Uh, hey there, buddy. You okay there? Need a hand?" You stopped a few feet away, shifting your bag on your shoulder. 

"i'm fine." He growled out in response, but he didn't look up. He ground his teeth and twitched. If that was his definition of fine, he really needed to reevaluate his life.

"Listen, dude, I think you need some help, if you don't mind me saying so." He didn't respond. You quickly turned an idea over in your head. "Uh, hey, here, I've got an idea. I know a friend that might be able to help you. He's right in this building, so I could help you get to him, and he might be able to do... something? Okay?"

He just grumbled. You took that as a yes. 

You crouched beside him and drew his free hand over your shoulders, then hefted him to his feet. He went willingly enough, but he was heavy, especially considering he wasn't doing much to help himself. You directed him into the building, through the lobby, and down the hallway. Several people cast you both confused and concerned glances, but you just focused on getting this heavy son of a bitch into the lab. Hopefully, no one would report you for bringing unauthorized people into the building.

You quite literally had to kick the door open in order to get inside. You were panting by this point and felt like collapsing yourself, but shuffled inside further before leaning against a counter. Doppelgänger was staring at you as if you'd grown a second head, sweat beading on his brow. 

"Um, hey, Gast." You wheezed out, hoping one of them would eventually come to their senses and help you with this bag of bricks that you were pretty sure had passed out by now. "I've, uh, got someone I think you need to see." 

Gaster turned, looking concerned, and immediately blanched. 

"Oh my god. Sans!" 

The skeleton beside you shifted, lifting his head sluggishly. He seemed to jolt into consciousness when his eyes met Gaster's. 

"... Dad?"

Hold the phone.

'Dad?'

'DAD?'

Gaster swept forward as you were left stunned into silence. He took the short skeleton- Sans?- into his arms and the heavy son of a bone immediately clung to him tightly. You quickly stepped away, thoroughly confused and lost. What had started out as helping the weirdo outside was now turning into what seemed to be a family reunited. Sans wept onto Gaster freely while Gaster held him close to his ribcage, looking both worried and relieved. 

Suddenly a hand found your elbow and started dragging you backwards, out of the room. You were about to protest when you saw the overwhelmed expression on Doppelgänger's face. Without a word, you followed him into the hallway, the door closing heavily behind you.

"Okay, what the fuck?" Was the first thing that came out of your mouth. Not the best thing to say, but, hey. Your day was turning out to be very weird.

"Yeah, yeah, okay, I'll do my best to explain." Doppler paced up and down a bit, soon opting to walk you up and down the hall to give him something to do. "Okay. What's your first question?"

"Um. 'Dad?' Gaster has a fucking son that seems to be my age? How fucking old is Gaster, again? 'Dad?!'"

"Slow down a second." Doppler sighed, running a hand over his face. His form often became twitchy when he was nervous, and, during anxiety attacks, he would sometimes revert back to what he said he used to look like before 'his procedure' as a kid. He looked like he was highly considering doing that right now. 

"Okay, so... Gaster is a lot older then you'd think, but monsters age differently then humans. Boss monsters only age if they have children; in order for those children to grow up themselves, their parents pass their magic onto them over the course of years. I don't know if doc counts as a boss monster, but... he looks the same as he did ages ago, so..." He shrugged, looking fidgety. "Yes, he has a son. Two, actually. And, yes. They're about our age. No, as far as I know, he never had a spouse; monster reproduction is different then human reproduction."

Your brain might have melted out your ears by this point. "... Two?"

"Yeah. That one is Sans, the older brother, and then there's Papyrus. I knew them, when we were kids. Before I got too sick, we used to play with each other around Waterfall." He seemed to drift off for a moment, eyes becoming unfocused.

"Okay. So... I'm dating a skeleton that has two sons, is an immortal, and was the former royal scientist of an entire civilization, who's past I know next to nothing about and who knows pretty much all there is to know about my own." The information was slowly trickling in, settling in a thick layer over your mind. 

It had never really bothered you before that you didn't know much about Gaster's history; you knew him now, and right now he was a pretty great guy that you really liked to be around. What should his past matter? 

Yeah, that was wrong, too.

To have so much be thrown at you all at once just proved you really should have at least tried to find out a little about where Gaster came from.

"Well, listen, there's more to it then that."

Oh, great.

"It's not really my place to tell you, but, uh, I think you need to know in order to understand. A while ago, back underground, Gaster got into... an accident. He was... He was gone for a long time. A lot of people forgot about him all together. Most people did. Myself, Sans, and a handful of his previous followers still remembered. From where he was, he could see us and what we were doing, but we couldn't see him or interact with him at all. For the longest time, we thought he was just... lost forever. When we were let out of the underground, the magic it took to break the barrier reversed his accident at the same time." 

You were probably dreaming. None of this felt real. You were so confused. Maybe you should just sit down.

"So, basically, Sans and Gaster haven't seen each other in years and Sans probably thought he was lost forever. So. We should probably just... leave them to reconnect. You wanna go get lunch or something?"

"I think I might throw up a bit."

"Let's go get lunch."

He dragged you off, you too baffled and lost to resist. Even while he dragged you to a cafe, you couldn't bother to talk over the thoughts scrambling at the underside of your brain.

You knew so little about Gaster. You didn't know diddly squat about the underground, you didn't know diddly squat about where he came from or what he used to do, let alone what his history looked like. He knew pretty much all there was to know about you. From what little you knew about him, he had done some great things.

He used to be the royal scientist, he was highly respected by (some) humans and monsters alike, he'd done miracles of science and magic alike. And you? You were some deadbeat idiot attempting to make a cure that didn't exist that just so happened to be somewhat good at singing. For all you knew, he was just with you because he found you cute and naive.

Maybe, it just wasn't meant to be.

 

"i can't believe you're actually... here."

"Neither could I, at first."

"why didn't you come find us?"

"I was afraid... you would hate me for leaving so suddenly."

"Dad, that's ridiculous."

"Perhaps, but it seemed a genuine concern at the time."

"alright. alright. i'm just glad i was able to find you."

"How did you find me?"

"i could feel you, somewhere out here. i tried to tap into your signal and teleport to you, but i ended up a bit off when my magic decided to freak out. then that human found me... who was that? they acted as if they knew you."

"Ah, yes, that's ______. They are... ah... my... We are in a... relationship."

"..."

"... What?"

"to be honest, i don't know what to say. the most i've got is that they're not what i was expecting."

"I think you'll like them very much when you get to know them. ... What are you sniggering about?"

"you look like a lovesick puppy."

"Respect your father, young man."

"sure thing, pops."

 

Eventually, you returned to the lab. Several hours had passed by now, and you were hoping things had settled down enough for you to grab your stuff and get out of there. You were uncertain about how to feel and it was something entirely new to you. Before, whenever you had known someone, you had just sort of flopped into any kind of relationship and then accepted how things were. 

To be thrust into uneven ground you weren't familiar with so suddenly... It was jarring.

The two skeletons were still chatting when you pushed the door open. You quickly stopped, a nervousness you weren't familiar with making your skin prickle. They both looked up, Sans with a lazy grin, Gaster with a pleasantly surprised smile. Sitting beside Sans was the late-blooming second dandelion sprout, not on the windowsill where you'd left it.

"Uh... Hey. I just want to grab my stuff and I'll be out of your nonexistent hair." You sidled inside, stooping to pick up your bag. 

"No, no! Come, I'd like you to meet Sans."

"sup."

"Uh, hi. You, um, you doing alright? You were kinda almost passed out the last time I saw you."

The short skeleton snickered. "yeah, i'm fine. thanks for bringing me just where i wanted to be."

"No prob, dude. To be honest, I only brought you in here because I figured Gast might know what to do, considering he is also a skeleton. Not impeccable logic, but, hey, it worked out."

Sans snickered again, elbowing his father. "hey, they're honest. i like that. i think you and i could be pals." 

"Uh, yeah, I'd hope so, considering." You hefted your bag into your shoulder, then gave a halfhearted salute. "I'll be seein' ya, Gaster-Blaster-Disaster-Manster."

"Have a good evening, songbird. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"You bet."

And then you walked out, even more emotionally confused then before.

It took Gaster a moment to realize Sans was staring at him out of the corner of his eye. He turned to him, raising an eyebrow questioningly. He grew even more confused when his son wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"so. nicknames, then?"

Sans broke into a laugh as the tall skeleton flushed a dark shade of blue and hid his face in his hands.


	18. It's just not meant to be...?

Sans appeared a lot in the days that followed.

Literally. He just appeared. Poof. Like magic. It was weird and confusing. 

He and Gaster seemed to have a lot to catch up on and spent a lot of time talking, thoroughly wrapped in the conversations. It left you feeling kind of alone. The past weeks- months, even- you had been coming to the lab solely to hang out with the skeleton and your gray, goopy friend; to suddenly be more or less ignored was crushing, in a way. What made it worse was that Gaster would often have to shut down your plans because he was doing something with Sans whenever he had time off. For the first few days, you kind of just lurked around, hoping someone would give you the chance to jump into the conversation. 

When that didn't happen, you started both fiddling with and studying the growth of the younger dandelion and reopening your box of tricks in an attempt to pick up on your cancer studies again. It was weird, actually using the lab for its intended purpose. 

By the time the second week had drawn to a close, you noticed something about the dandelion. It was... odd. Not ill or dying, by what you could tell, but... invigorated. The stem was thicker, the leaves fatter and wider, the bud that would be a flower heavier then it looked. You scraped a cell sample off the stem, then positioned it beneath a microscope. 

It looked relatively normal, even on a cellular level. Mostly. There were tiny, glowing pips seemingly just floating inside the cell's cytoplasm. You didn't remember those being a part of plant cell anatomy. 

"Songbird?"

You jumped so hard you almost tipped the microscope over. You scrambled to upright it in a panicked away, letting out a sigh when you saved it. Sans snickered. 

"Yyyyyyes?" You looked up, still somewhat dazed from the brief fumble.

"Are you alright?" Gaster was looking at you in a half amused, half concerned way. "What are you looking at?"

"Um. Dandelion. It's weird, so I wanted to see if something was up with it."

"Weird how?" He came beside you and you stepped away to let him have a look.

"Weirdly... healthy, I guess. I don't know how to put it, but it's sturdier then I can remember ever seeing one." 

Sans, sitting on the counter a few feet away, shot the soon-to-flower plant a halfhearted glare. What did this guy have against plants? Fuck off. This plant was like your baby. He fucked with the flower, he fucked with you. Fight me.

"Hm. I don't know much of botany, but I can't see anything wrong with it." Gaster pulled away to give the flower a curious look over.

"Neither can I, and that's what's confusing." Then you shrugged, leaning back against the counter. "But, hey. Pretty much everything is confusing to me. I am pretty much the village idiot." 

Sans snickered again and Gaster shot him a look. "Songbird, I thought we talked about this."

"About me being the village idiot?" It came across almost bitter, even to you. 

You hated to admit it, but whenever you felt isolated, you tended to take it personally. Changes in routine were also something that'd always rubbed you the wrong way. That, coupled with losing a lot of the time you'd previously spent with Gaster, had made you morose as time went by. Rather then get angry with Sans for stealing the time and usual routine away, you got angry with yourself.

Didn't make much sense, but nothing really did when you were involved.

Gaster's expression changed to one of confusion masked with concern. "Songbird, you most certainly aren't an idiot."

With a sigh, you ran a hand through your hair, glancing away. "Yeah, well, you'd be the first to think so." You quickly began putting the things you pulled out away, soon pulling the pair of goggles off your head and scooping up your bag. "I'll be seeing ya, Doc."

"Leaving already?" Gaster blinked after you as you headed for the door, somewhat hurt. You hadn't called him 'Doc' since briefly after you'd gotten together. Had he done something wrong? Doppelgänger had told him you were shell shocked by Sans; were you having second thoughts about being in a relationship with an old skeleton like himself?

"Yeah, I've got... something to write for class. See ya tomorrow. See ya, Sans." With one last wave, you disappeared out the door.

Gaster frowned after you, worry making his eyes crinkle. 

"i'm assuming they're not usually like that, judging by your expression." Sans leaned forward, propping his chin up on his hand.

"Well, not exactly." Gaster sat heavily in your usual chair, hand coming up to his chin in thought. "They never did think very highly of themselves but it's been a while since they've been so... vocal about it. Normally they are very carefree and relaxed and relatively cheerful. Recently, they've been..." Gaster trailed off, looking away. "I'm worried that perhaps they are second guessing our relationship. Someone so kind as them with an old, troubled skeleton such as myself... It did always feel too good to be true."

Sans, while not quite the best with relationships himself, was frowning by the time his father figure had finished. It was clear you'd been happy together at some point; it was only recently that Gaster seemed to be having concerns about it. It bothered Sans to see the taller skeleton so unsure and worried.

"maybe they're just having a bad time. you should try to talk to them about it." He gave the hunched over figure a reassuring pat on the back.

"Perhaps. We haven't had much time to talk one on one recently." 

"maybe that's what's botherin' 'em. just try to catch 'em at a good time and talk it out. that usually works."

"Thank you, Sans."

 

Sitting beside a plate of sliced cheese, laptop propped in front of you as the TV played idly in the background, you were brooding. It was kind of a pass time whenever you got like this. Popping another slice of cheese into your mouth, you attempted to focus on the screen in front of you. 

And then your phone went off.

Who calls at 9:34 at night? 

Gaster, apparently. Weird. 

You scooped up your phone, tapping the green button and lifting it to your ear.

"Hello?" 

"Songbird, are you doing anything important right now?"

"Um." You glanced at the half finished paper on the laptop screen. "Nah. What's up?"

"Would it be a bother if I dropped by?"

"Um, no, I guess not." Click. What?

Knock knock knock!

Was he calling you from outside your door...? Shaking your head, you stood and went over to fling the door open. He was standing on the other side, fiddling with his fingers. 

"Um, hi. Come on in, I guess." You led him into the living room, soon plopping down on the couch. "So, what's up?"

"I'm concerned." 

Well, that was blunt. Part of you hoped he wasn't breaking up with you, the other part said it was bound to happen. "... About what?"

"You."

That was entirely blunt, as well. "Um. Why? If it's about this new band aid, I accidentally cut my finger while I was cutting onions the other day."

With a humorless chuckle, he sat hesitantly beside you. His expression was laced with tired worry. "You've been... drawing away from me recently."

Aha, yeah, same to you. "Uh, sorry, I guess. I just thought..." You waved a hand, trying to think of a way to say it without coming across as childish. "I thought you'd rather spend time with Sans then with me. You two were separated for a long time, right? I thought I should just give you some space and..." 

Gaster frowned. Was that not a good excuse? "I wouldn't have minded you joining us."

"Well, I mean... I didn't want to intrude." You feel like you're going to have a bad time.

"It wouldn't have been an intrusion at all!"

"W-Would Sans have been okay with it?" You were quickly running out of excuses.

"Certainly. I'm sure you would get along wonderfully. You have a lot in common, I think."

"O-oh." 

As the skins of your concern was peeled off one by one, you started to realize how silly you were being. But then, that still left one major, glaring flaw...

"'Oh?'" Gaster was both relieved he seemed to be getting somewhere and confused by the off put expression on your face.

"Gast, why are you with me?"

Had he been driving, he would have slammed on the brakes. Well, that was blunt. "... What?"

"I mean, just. Why are you even in a relationship with me? You're like, great. You've done such great things and you're somebody, and then here I am like... yeah, that person exists. They're a real fucking idiot, but they exist and they're never going to do anything relatively important, so why bother? Is it out of pity or because you find my stupidity 'cute' or 'naive?'" You ended up rambling in your nervousness, waving a hand vacantly in the air. 

"... Is that really what you think?" 

"I mean, yeah. Just... Look at yourself, then look at me. Former royal scientist, father of respectable children, respected by many; deadbeat nobody wasting their time attempting to make something that doesn't and never will exist." You sighed, shrugging. 

"I am with you because I care for you. Not solely because you amuse me, or because I find you naive and cute, or because I took pity on you. I do find you to be an interesting individual, and I do find you to be cute, but I do not consider you to be a nobody." His hands found one of yours and you finally looked up to meet his gaze, groveling in self loathing. His expression was soft, eyes filled with tender love. It brought heat to your cheeks. "I am with you because I find you to be a wonderful gem of a human being. If you do not wish to be with a tired old monster like myself, I can understand that, but do not beat yourself up for it."

"I do want to be with you, Gast. You're like nobody I've ever seen. You're nice and charming and patient and funny and cute, and I'm just... me. I'd be more then happy to continue being with you, and being in this relationship, but I felt like maybe it was a mistake on your part." You fiddled with his fingers, probing them through the thin fabric of the gloves. 

"You are most certainly not a mistake. You are one of the best decisions I've ever made." 

And then he pulled a hand away, cupped your cheek and pulled you in so he could press his teeth to your other blazing cheek. It left you very flustered. 

"Um. Aha. Well, I'm glad you think so." 

Gaster chuckled, though his own cheeks were tinted darker, you noted. "By the way, Sans and I are going to see how the food is at the new restaurant that opened up down the street tomorrow for lunch. Would you like to join us?"

"Uh, yeah. That'd be nice."

"I'm sure you and him will get along wonderfully."

"I hope so, otherwise it's gonna be awkward that I'm the weirdo dating his dad."


	19. Top-heavy piggyback rides

Gaster was right about you getting along well with Sans.

"Okay but like... The fact that anyone does anything just kind of astounds me. Like not doing anything is so much more satisfying. If I could just sit at home and do absolutely nothing with no consequences, I would totally do that."

"see, they've got it!" Sans flung an arm over your shoulder, grinning. "that's what ive been saying for years."

"Like, the fact there are people that actually do shit like discover new islands or whatever just... shocks me. Like how do you work up the will to get out of bed, let alone do whatever the fuck it takes to find damn islands?" You fell back, staring up at the ceiling.

"you are my new best friend."

"No thanks, too much effort."

"i love this one, pops. you did a good job."

You proceeded to roll off the countertop you'd been lying on, staggering to your feet. "Alright, I'm going to get water from the machine down the hall."

"get me one."

"Get it yourself."

"nah. i'd have to walk all the way down the hall to do that."

"Come on, then, I'll give you a lift." You crouched beside the countertop he was sitting on and he, hesitantly, hopped on your shoulders. You straightened, staggered, then galloped out of the room like a madman, a challenging grin on your face. 

Gaster shook his head with a chuckle. Doppler, standing beside him with his arms crossed, stared after you as if you were insane.

"Good lord, together they're just an accident waiting to happen."

"Don't worry, Sans is careful."

"Yeah, but you know who's not?"

There was a pause while Gaster considered this. 

Then there was a loud series of thumps from the hallway, followed by Sans' laughter growing in volume and a muffled sound from you. 

Panicking, Gaster and Doppler both rushed to the door and shoved it open, peering out. A few feet away was a hysterically laughing Sans, just pushing himself up off the ground, and a few feet behind him was you, lying face down on the ground. A few water bottles rolled idly past. 

Worried, Gaster rushed to your side, soon lifting you up by your shoulders. You blinked, dazed, then began laughing as well despite the trickle of blood oozing from your nose.

"... Ouch, that hurt." You eventually wheezed out. "Not my best idea."

Gaster let out a sigh of relief, helping you get to your feet. "No kidding. You could have been seriously hurt."

"Eh, I'm fine. Sans, you still alive down there?"

Sans' only reply was another slew of chuckles.

"Yeah, he's still alive." You pulled away from Gaster, wobbling. "I'm okay, Gast. My face hurts, but I'm alright." 

"Are you sure? You're bleeding." Gaster hovered close, looking unsure what to do.

You blinked, the drew a hand to your lip, dabbed, and pulled it away. "Would you look at that. Hey, Dapper Dop, can you pick up those water bottles for me? I need to stop this bleeding before it makes a mess."

Sans, shuffling up behind Gaster, cast you a semi-concerned glance. "you're bleeding?"

"Don't worry, it's nothing. Used to happen all the time." You waved him off, heading into the lab and soon wiping away the blood and stuffing a tissue up your nose. 

Sans snickered. "so, that's how you're gonna fix it, huh?"

"Screw you, it works."

"Children, please, no fighting. Apologize this instant."

"Apologize this, grandpa!" You stuck out your tongue to Gaster and put your pointer finger and thumb to your forehead, blowing raspberries.

"My word! Children these days." Gaster tossed his head, scoffing even as he ghosted his hands over you to check for further injuries.

It seemed you and Sans brought out the worst in each other. You and the short skeleton shared a similar mindset, but you carried energy similar to Papyrus' and, while you tended to be careful enough for others' sake, you were still harebrained enough to do whatever crazy shenanigans Sans coaxed you into. Just last week, you'd managed to discreetly roll a test tube into Frederick's lab before it exploded. While not deadly in the slightest, the poor man had nearly had a heart attack while you and Sans were crowing over it for days afterwards.

Yes, Sans certainly brought out your inner child, it seemed.

"I'm fine, Gast! My face hurts like fuck all, but I'm fine!" You waved him off, turning to Dandelion junior. "Hey, check this guy out! He's finally flowering! Took 'em long enough."

A large, heavy yellow dandelion bloom sat atop the sturdy stem, bobbing slightly when you tapped it. The petals were thicker, floppier, wonderful to touch. Gaster came up behind you, brushing his own fingers against the flower.

"Curious. I don't remember the other flowers looking like this." The words rustled past your hair, almost like he was talking to himself.

"Yeah, they're not supposed to be like this. Maybe your magic did affect it but it just takes another generation for it to take affect." You hummed, twiddling with the leaves at the base of the plant. 

"... Perhaps. I had not thought of that."

After a moment, you pulled away and checked to see if the bleeding had stopped. You were glad to find it had, but part of you was faintly concerned.

"Hey, Dipper Dip-Dip Dop. How screwed up does my face look?" 

He made a squeamish expression. "... On a scale of 1 to 10, 6."

You seemed to take into account that he often exaggerated how bad things were. "Well, it sounds like I didn't break my nose, at least. It'll probably still hurt for a while, but I'll be okay."

Sans, sitting on one of the counters nearby, cast you a slightly grossed out look. "gotta say, it doesn't sound like i'm missing out on anything not having all... that." He waved a hand in your general direction, obviously indicating skin and flesh.

Gaster was fully prepared to scold his son for the tactless statement, but you waved it off with a laugh before he could say anything.

"Yeah, there's not a lot of upsides to it. It kinda bruises and bleeds easily. I should know." You held up your hands as if shrugging, purposefully displaying the scars littered across the skin. 

Gaster couldn't help the frown that came to his face. While it was obvious you weren't bothered by it whenever anyone poked fun at you, it still bothered him that you were so accepting of whatever came your way. It was clear you still took it as a form of repenting for your past mistakes, same as the way you continually cut yourself down.

He wasn't sure how many times he could say 'Remember not to degrade yourself, you deserve only the best' before it got old and repetitive. 

"Hey, Gast." You popped up beside him, pulling him from his thoughts. "You had your pondering face on. What's on your mind?" You gave him a questioning look, leaning against the counter.

"Nothing of concern, songbird." 

"Well, fair enough. But, hey, there's something I wanted to ask you."

"Oh?"

"Someone I know is opening a restaurant on main street in a few weeks and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me on opening night." You gave him an uncertain smile. You weren't used to asking him out just yet and it made you uncharacteristically nervous.

"I would love that." He gave you a warm smile through his blushing cheeks, making a pleased flush come onto your own face. "Someone you know?" He then inquired, tilting his curiously. You'd mentioned before you had a small circle of friends with little to none outside the lab.

"Uh, yeah. T-Taylor's mom." Your smile quickly fell, you averting your gaze. One of his hands found yours in a gentle squeeze, a silent comfort.

Sans, watching the exchange, felt a flicker of confusion at the sight of your crestfallen expression and Gaster's soft, sympathetic look.

However, a moment later, you shook off the lingering shame and gave Gaster another lopsided smile. "I think you'll like, but it's still in, like... two months. Maybe more. I was kind of excited about it and wanted to save it till later, but, that obviously didn't happen."

Gaster chuckled, patting your hand. "It's no trouble. I'll look forward to it every day."

"If you get any sweeter, you'll turn into a pixie stick." You laughed.

"A... A what?"

"A kind of candy. It's like a little paper tube filled with flavored sugar. There's orange and grape and... I don't know what else. It's kind of gross, to be honest." You laughed again.

Gaster didn't comment on the weird ideas humans had for candy confections.

Eventually, you picked up your stuff, shoved Sans off a countertop, and headed for the door. 

"I'll be seeing you guys!"

"bye."

"Bye, don't get run over on the way home."

"Goodbye, songbird. Have a good evening." 

You paused beside Gaster, then pulled him down to give him a peck on the cheek before you slipped out the door with a wave. He stared after you, turning steadily darker. You'd been careful about not being too 'intimate' in front of Sans- 'give him time to get used to the idea first,' you'd said- as of recently, so the doctor had not received many tokens of affection lately.

A choked snicker brought him back to reality. He quickly looked over to see both the shapeshifter and his son sniggering to themselves, both casting knowing looks his way. He sharply turned away, hiding his face with a huff.

Sans' loud spiel of laughter was evidence enough that he couldn't have cared less about the public display of affection, yet he was most certainly going to use it against his father figure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire fic is just fluff tbh
> 
> Don't worry, angst in the next chapter.


	20. Chapter 20

Humming brightly under your breath, you headed leisurely down the sidewalk in the direction of Gaster's house. Swinging in your hand was a bag of different baked goods picked up from some spider themed bakery you'd yet to visit. (As a side note, the lady behind the counter was both very nice to look at and very creepy at the same time.) You decided to finally check it out, and who else to share the different sweets with then your favorite skeleton?

You hadn't seen or heard from Gaster all day and figured he was just busy with paperwork or whatever the men at the lab had him do on his days off. What would be better then having some cute little spider-shaped cookies while you work? 

While you goofed around and were generally a distraction, of course. 

You hopped onto his front porch, knocking on his door then rocking on the balls of your feet, humming cheerily. For whatever reason, you were feeling pretty good today, and the thought of seeing Gaster was just the frosting on the cake. You were drawn out of your musing when the door creaked open.

"O-oh. Songbird. I didn't know you'd be coming by today." 

Your smile quickly fell. Gaster looked very... tired. Sad, even. It broke your heart to see him looking so downtrodden. "That's probably because I didn't call. Are... Are you alright? Is this a bad time? I brought cookies." You lifted the bag in your hand halfheartedly, giving him a concerned look.

"No, no, it's fine. Come in." He quietly moved to the side, allowing you to step inside. He was wearing his usual coat fully buttoned up, the white turtleneck he typically wore beneath it barely visible. It looked like he was trying to fend off cold that wasn't there.

You followed close behind him as he trailed almost languidly into his living room, sitting quietly on the couch. Strewn out on the table in front of him was a slew of what appeared to be paperwork, the majority of which didn't appear to be done. You sat hesitantly beside him, fiddling with the handles of the plastic bag in your lap.

"... If you'd rather be alone, that's alright, I can just go."

"No, no. You're fine." He stared down at the papers in front of him for a moment, then picked up a pen and stooped over a half finished sheet.

For a moment, you sat in silence. "Are you okay? You're looking kind of down."

He paused, averting his gaze. "I'm... fine. I've just been having some trouble reconnecting with everyone from before. I'm assuming Doppelgänger informed you of my... absence for a few years?"

"Yeah. He said you got into an accident and couldn't be around for a while. Also that everyone pretty much forgot about you entirely." 

"Yes, that's essentially what happened. Attempting to rekindle their memories is proving to be harder then I thought. Not everyone is taking it very well, either." He sighed, shoulders sagging as he lowered his head.

"... I'm sorry."

"It's just been wearing me down as of recently. It will all blow over eventually." He drew a breath, focusing on the papers in front of him again.

After a moment, you stood up and took the bag of baked goods into the kitchen, putting one of everything on a plate, then sticking the whole lot of it into the microwave. After a few seconds, you pulled it out again and headed back into the living room, setting the plate on a free space on the table.

He glanced up, looking briefly surprised, then turned back to the papers. "Thank you, songbird."

"No problem. Go ahead and try something. I've heard some good things about the place I got them from." You sat down beside him again, nudging the plate in his direction.

Hesitantly, he picked up one of the cookies, nibbled at it for a moment, then turned back to the paperwork. You couldn't help making a face. You hated seeing him pouring over one of the sources of his stress. Messing around in the lab was the fun part; bringing home the paper work and reports was not.

For a while, you sat in silence. The sky gradually grew darker outside. By the time the sun was on the horizon, you'd had enough to Gaster stressing over those dumb papers.

Leaning forward, you pulled the pen out of his hand. He glanced up in confusion, looking ready to ask for his pen back when you threw it over your shoulder. You then grabbed his shoulders, pulling him down to lie down on the couch, head in your lap. He stared up at you, looking baffled.

"You need to take a break." You said bluntly, ghosting your fingers carefully over his forehead. 

"I'm hardly half way finished." He objected, looking ready to sit up and fetch his pen.

"Too bad. I'm your partner and I say you need a break." You gave him your best no nonsense look, wanting nothing more then him to relax.

He chuckled, giving in as he relaxed against you. "Alright. Whatever you say."

For a while you sat there in silence, him gazing at the ceiling through half closed eyes as you ran a hand over the crown of his head. At some point, his relaxed expression faded into a frown. Some time after that, tears simply pooled in eyes to slip down the sides of his cheeks, falling onto your jeans in little, pale lavender streaks.

You frowned down at him, not quite sure what to do, but not wanting to interrupt him. Sometimes, you just needed to cry. That was all. 

Minutes passed. You began to hum quietly, running a thumb close to the crack trailing up from his right eye. When he didn't object, you began to sing quietly.

"Let's go in the garden.  
You'll find something waiting,  
Right there were you left it-  
Lying upside down.  
When you finally find it,  
You'll see how it's faded:  
The underside is lighter  
When you turn it around.

Everything stays,  
Right where you left it.  
Everything stays,  
But it still changes.  
Ever so slightly,  
Daily and nightly,  
In little ways,  
When everything stays."

As you finished, you cast a glance down to see if he had received it well or if it had troubled him further. To your surprise, he was looking up at you softly, tears dribbling to a stop. His eyes locked with yours, still half closed in the warm light of the lamp beside you.

"... I love it when you sing." He eventually whispered out, a ghost of a smile on his face.

You smiled back down at him, whispering in response, "Well, I'm glad, otherwise I'd be pretty annoying, huh?"

"You're lovely." He said softly, almost as if you hadn't said anything.

You flushed, looking away. "I could- I could say the same about you, buddy."

He smiled a little broader at that, then beckoned you to lean down. Curious but confused, you obliged. He beckoned to come closer, and you obliged again. Closer still. By this time, you were practically leaning over the top of his face. 

"Yes?" You chuckled out, giving him an inquiring look.

With a smile, he leaned up and quickly pressed his teeth to your lips, then just as quickly pulled away. Despite the bold move, his cheeks were obviously darker, but you weren't much of one to talk. You quickly sat up, blinking down at him as he chuckled up at you.

"I could also say you look lovely when you're flustered."

"Uh huh, yeah, same to you, buddy."

With another chuckle, he sat up and, instead of going back to the papers waiting to be finished, he drew you into his lap and buried his face into your hair with a pleased hum. It took hardly a moment for you to recline into him and go slack against his ribcage. You loved little moments like this; Gaster was more often then not too flustered to propose intimate things like cuddling, but the few times he did were certainly very enjoyable.

"... Thank you, songbird."

"Pleasure is all mine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally supposed to end with Gaster crying himself out and falling asleep, or crying himself out and going back to the paperwork, but since some of you objected to angst, I gave it some fluff padding to help. 
> 
> Enjoy.


	21. Boom?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is awful and rushed but I felt I had to write something so here you go

You were tapping away at your laptop, studying up for yet another essay, while Doppelgänger was off doing whatever he did when Frederick wouldn't shut up and Gaster was studying up on magic-chemical reactions. It had been a pretty normal afternoon, and you weren't expecting much out of it.

And then something exploded. 

Gaster yelped and quickly shielded his face as you turned, which you quickly mimicked when something sharp grazed past your cheek, close under your eye. When nothing else touched you, you drew your arm away from your face and quickly came up to Gaster to see what happened. 

"Are you alright, Gast? What'd you do?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine, but are you alright? You're not hurt, are you? I heard you cry out. Did something hit you?" He quickly spun to look at you, eyes round with concern. "Here, come where I can see you." He quickly ushered you to sit on one of the countertops and checked you over, wincing when he came to your face. 

"Something-"

"Goodness, you're bleeding." He gently ran a thumb just below where your cheek was currently stinging, eyes flashing with shame. "Are you hurt anywhere else? Stay here, I'll get the first aid kit." He swept across the room, quickly rummaging through a cabinet before flying back with a kit in hand.

"Gast, I'm fine. Something just caught my cheek, that's all. You should be more worried about yourself; you were the one close to the most of it. Are you sure you're alright? Ouch, that stings!"

"Sincerest apologies, songbird." He pressed the cotton ball soaked in hydrogen peroxide to your cheek again, dabbing at apparently was a thin, straight line of blood, probably much like a paper cut. "I am of no concern. I should not have allowed you to be so close to such a dangerous experiment."

He looked like he might blow a fuse if he got any more worried. "Gast."

"Are you 100% positively certain you're not hurt anywhere else? I didn't find any injuries on your arms or hands, but I may have missed something. Do you feel any aches or pains anywhere? Anywhere at all." He fumbled with a wide bandaid, soon rubbing antibiotic ointment on it and gently pressing it over your now soothed cheek. 

"Gast, you're being ridiculous."

"I am absolutely not! You could have been seriously hurt. I shouldn't have allowed this to happen." He dissolved into muttering to himself as he rolled up your sleeves again, phalanges quick to examine your skin closely. 

It was then you realized why he was being so... mother hen-like: This was the first time you'd gotten hurt from an action on his part. Even if it was second hand hurt- not first hand, as if he'd slapped you- he was freaking out solely because this happened more or less because of him. 

Daw. 

"Gaster." You laid your hand across his face, effectively making him freeze. He was weird- much like a rabbit, he would often freeze and calm down slightly if his eyes were covered. To be honest, it was both silly and adorable.

"Y-yes, songbird?" His hands hovered beside where your arm had been, dangling in the air.

"Chill out. You're fine. It was an accident. Shit happens. It's okay. It's not like you can predict the future. Okay? Now, take a deep breath." With little hesitation, he complied. It was funny how he was quick to listen when you out on your boss voice. "Now. Are you okay?" You slowly removed your hand from his face and he backed away half an inch, hands coming up to fiddle with his I.D.

"Don't fret, I was merely surprised. If I'd known it was going to do that..." He shook his head. Something, caught in one of the cracks trailing from his eyes, caught the light in the movement. "I apologize, I didn't mean- what are you doing?"

You caught his chin, holding his head steady while you brought your hand up to try and flick whatever was caught there free. "Hold still, you've got something..."

He froze as your thumb grazed over the crack, attempting to find the thing again. Sweat beaded on his brow and he averted his gaze. "P-please, be careful."

"I'm trying. Don't fidget. There it is- shit! Hold still." It got caught in a niche and you frowned at it, attempting to snag it with your fingernail.

Gaster let out a shuddering breath, closing his eyes as his hands found the counter top you were sitting on.

"I've almost got it, don't worry. Shit, I'm sorry if this hurts." You winced, feeling awful as you finally managed to snag it and now had to wiggle it free.

"D-don't fret. It's merely..." His fingers twitched as you finally pulled it out. "... sensitive." He let out a sigh of relief as you examined the tiny shard of glass in the light. "I was wondering what was bothering me. Thank you." 

"No problem." With a flick, you sent it flying into a trash can and let out a long breath. "Shit, I was worried I was hurting you for a second there. Sorry."

"Thank you for getting it out." He gave you a small, flushed smile, then leaned forward and pressed his teeth just under your eye, just above the new bandaid covering the thin cut trailing across your cheek. He chuckled when you flushed and wiggled in embarrassment, pulling away to put the first aid kit away.

"Hey, wait." You waved him back down. When he raised an eye brow but obliged, you grinned. "I've gotta kiss yours too, right?" And you planted a kiss on the suspect crack, watching him quickly pull away and cover his face with his hands with a chuckle of satisfaction.

"I cannot believe I have continually fallen for that." He mumbled out, sounding almost grumpy behind his thoroughly flushed face.

"Ah, come on, Gast. I love surprising you like that." You gave him a wink when he peeked out at you from between his phalanges which just made his blush worse. When you broke into a laugh, he was quick to turn around with a challenging expression.

"Oh, really? Let's see how you feel about it." And he quickly leaned forward and planted his teeth against your lips before you could react, lingered a moment, then pulled away. He gave you an accomplished smile when you simply stared at him as you suddenly turned a bright shade of red. "How does that make you feel?"

"... Kinda like I want you to do that again, to be honest."

His smile quickly changed to a look of flustered surprise and you gave him a sheepish grin.

"I honestly don't know what else you were expecting, Gast."


	22. Mother, Father,

Gaster, coming back from delivering papers to the East wing one afternoon, was surprised to find you on your phone, alone in the lab. You looked troubled, expression surprisingly tense and vaguely downcast. You were standing beside the window, hand propped up against the counter as you talked into the receiver. 

"Yes. ... ... Yes, my classes are fine. My grades have been a lot steadier since I made friends in the lab- ... ... Well, no. ... ... I mean, they're still plenty smart. Just because they're not Frederick doesn't mean- ... ... I know, I know." You let out a quiet sigh, head hanging for a moment. 

Gaster, unsure what to do, hung beside the door. While he felt uncomfortable eavesdropping, there wasn't a lot he could do without alerting you to his presence. Besides, hearing you sound so robotic... It was concerning, to say the least.

"No, I haven't..." You trailed off, sounding pained. "... I'm sorry. I know, I understand. I should just get over it. ... B-boyfriend?"

Gaster, previously fiddling with the papers in his hands, froze. His eyes slid up to look at you. It seemed you had locked up as well. You looked very uncertain. Faintly afraid, even.

"... y-yes, I've... hooked up with someone. ... What's he like?" You began tugging at and twisting your i.d. around, a habit you did whenever you were very nervous. "He's-he's a... doctor. He was hired in the same lab I work in. ... ... Yes, he's very, very accomplished. He's done a lot of great things. ... His name is-is Gaster. ... He's fairly new to the scene, maybe word just hasn't reached you yet. ... He's very kind. Very thoughtful."

Gaster couldn't help the light blush that came to his cheeks despite that you seemed to fidgeting uncomfortably.

"Introduce him? Uh, I'd... Id have to ask. He's, uh, pretty busy. ... Yes, I will. ... ... I'll tell him. ... Yes, I will. ... Yes. Goodbye." And, with a very tired breath, you lowered your phone and ended the call. Your arm holding you up against the counter folded and you slouched over the counter, falling like a deck of cards.

"... Songbird?" Gaster stepped forward, laying a hand across your back, unsure what else to do.

You jumped under his touch, looking up in surprise. "Oh, hey, Gast." You sighed out, laying your head down again. "How's it going?"

"I'm fine. And what of you? Who were you talking to, if you don't mind me asking?" He pulled your chair over, sitting you into it with a concerned glance.

"... My mother." You averted your gaze, grip on your phone tightening. "About once a year, my parents call in to check how I'm doing, make sure I'm not wasting our money on failed classes." 

You leaned forward, propping an arm up on your knee as you ran a hand over your face. Gaster, now beside you, rubbed your back as comfortingly as he knew how. You'd scarcely mentioned your parents before, only to say yes, they were still alive and yes, they were together. You'd always dodged the subject, seemingly uncomfortable with talking about it. 

You drew a deep breath. "She, uh, asked about you. I wasn't sure how much to say. I'm still not sure how they feel about... monsters." You were obviously rolling in shame and uncertainty, wincing as you admitted it. "And now they want to meet you."

"How do /you/ feel about it?" 

"I honestly don't know. They're... very opinionated. Not afraid to speak their minds. But they're still my parents." You ran a hand through your hair, phone long forgotten on your knee.

"If you so wish, if it makes you uncomfortable, you could say I'm busy. I don't want you to be put into any situation that you are not alright with." His hand slid up to rest on your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. You looked up to meet his gaze briefly, then looked away again.

"No, that'd just make things worse. I can't hide from them forever. Just... I'm sorry for whatever they might say in advance, alright?" You scratched at the bandaid on your cheek absently, wincing at some memory or thought.

"... Do not fret, songbird. I am more concerned for you then I am for myself." He ran a hand over your hair, casting you a worried look.

You chuckled under your breath. "You make it sound like I'm going off to war rather then agreeing to meet up with my parents."

"I don't want you to be unhappy."

"You are too good for this world, Gast. Why are you even with a scumbag like me?"

"Hush that right now. I won't hear a word of it." 

And, with a halfhearted frown to you, he planted a kiss to your temple. You let out a huff of laughter, giving him a grateful look. 

Even if the prospect of seeing your parents after a year and a half was daunting, you were pretty sure you could manage so long as Gaster stayed adorable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, it's short, I apologize. Having a case of writer's block, so I decided to pull this idea out. I'd been thinking about it for a while and originally planned to do it later, but whatever.
> 
> Prepare for angst.


	23. I am no politician,

The meeting was scheduled for a week and a half later, at some high end restaurant at the far side of town. You were very nervous and fidgety over the days that led up to it, locked up inside your own head. Not even Sans could draw you out of your anxious state.

"It worries me. I'm more then half tempted to call the whole thing off."

"you heard what they said. one way or another, it's gonna happen. no use trying to put it off. then it would just loom over their head even more. look suspicious, even."

"I suppose."

"i'm sure it's just like first time jitters, ya know? it'll be fine, pops."

"I hope so." 

You and Gaster agreed to take your car since Gaster lacked one entirely and it was a long distance to walk in the first place. When Gaster met you outside the apartment building a half hour before you were scheduled to meet them, he was faintly surprised to find you in your Sunday best, already waiting for him in the parking lot. You tugged at your collar absently, checked your teeth in the car mirrors, patted at your hair, and generally displayed all the signs of anxiety you'd been displaying for the past week.

Despite that, you looked very nice. You gave a half hearted smile, faintly blushed, when he told you so and pressed a kiss to the back of your hand. When you returned the compliment, he felt a blush come to his own face. While not flashy, he had tried to dress for the occasion, if only slightly.

During the ride, you warned him that your father- the last time you had been told- was the manager of a company, and to get on his good side, one would have to be sure to compliment said company often. Your mother was an advertising mastermind and was sought after by more then one large company at a time, so one had to be careful as to what campaigns they complimented. He paid rapt attention, intent on getting your parents' approval.

When you pulled up outside the restaurant and stepped inside, the host at the front desk asked if you had reservations. You gave your last name, and the host promptly led you to a table for four, two people already seated there, waiting.

You had your mother's cheekbones and eyes, but your father's nose and jaw. Otherwise, you looked nothing like these two people; at a glance, there was no conceivable way you could possibly be related. You were normally very relaxed and loose around the eyes and mouth, often smiling lopsidedly, and these people were... much the opposite. 

"Mom. Dad." You said quietly as you approached, putting a hand on one chair. Gaster loomed up behind you, so close you could feel the fabric of his long coat brush your back just slightly.

The two glanced up and instantly a faintly taken aback expression fell over both of them. Gaster was quickly aware that they were scanning him over, gazes lingering on the deformed cracks oozing from his eye sockets. A second later, they were back to the same faces they held since he entered: nearly expressionless, vaguely guarded. 

Your father stood, extended a hand across the table to Gaster. "You must be the Gaster they've been talking about." 

"Yes, that would be me. You must be _______'s father." Gaster gave his hand a brief shake, then dipped his head to your mother. "And you their mother. I'm pleased to meet you."

You both sat, you folding your hands in your lap and glancing quickly from your mother to your father. Gaster noticed a glistening of sweat on your brow.

"So, Gaster." Your mother turned to him, eyes almost sharp. "Our child says you're a doctor."

"Why, yes, I am."

"Of what sort?" 

"I was the former royal scientist of the underground- I... resigned some years before we were let out of the underground. Presently, I've been studying mixing magic and science for Ebott University, sharing a lab with..." He nodded to you, giving you a small smile. You almost returned it. Almost.

"I see." 

Your mother and father exchanged a look and your father said something from the corner of his mouth that Gaster didn't catch. Your mother nodded faintly in response.

"So, dear." You snapped to attention at your mother's voice directed towards you. "How have your grades been fairing?"

"They've been picking up ever since Gaster and Doppelgänger started helping me."

"I see. I'm guessing 'Doppelgänger' is... another monster?"

You seemed to lock up slightly. Something about the tone- something about the words- something about the pause- while it flew over his head, you picked up on a hint there. "Y-yes."

Another exchanged look.

"I see. Well, I'm glad your grades have been doing better. It wouldn't do if you wasted that scholarship chasing a dream and not paying attention to what's important."

"No, ma'am. It wouldn't."

Food was ordered. More tense, half barbed exchanges occurred. They asked about your job, about specific numbers on your grades, about what sort of impression you were leaving on your teachers and classmates, on Dr. Frederick (Gaster picked up that they thought he was what you should be, though he highly disagreed. It was clear they knew nothing of Dr. Frederick). They asked him about his work- nothing about the past, only about the present- and when he admitted he'd found little to write home about, they exchanged another glance.

Food arrived. You seemed to pick over it, eyes deliberately focused on the food.

"But you see, we are so glad our little child decided to take up this profession, even if it was so... suddenly." A glance slid in your direction. You were stiff in your seat. "Now they can get the recognition they deserve; wouldn't have gotten anywhere with what they previously planned. Whole lot of nowhere, if you ask me." Your father was proving to be what you said he was; brash and opinionated.

"Pardon?" Gaster was sent a-prickling at the condescending tone and was beginning to truly to see why you had been so nervous about coming here this night.

"Singing, if you'll believe it. Wanted to go around wasting their time on nothing but mixed noises and nonsense." The man snorted, picking up a glass of water and taking a swallow.

"I would have to disagree. I think they have a real talent for singing. If it is what makes them happy..." Gaster forced a polite tone, attempting to remain friendly. 

Your parents exchanged another glance. The subject was dropped. 

Things were drawing to a close and it appeared things weren't getting any better. In fact, it seemed to be getting worse.

"Now, I always hear about the technological advances monsters had, but trapped underground, how truly advanced could they be?" Your father's eyes snapped of challenge, as if daring Gaster to prove him wrong.

Gaster knew he had a point, but didn't point out that humans had them beat in numbers and resources; given the same things, monsters could have been just as good, if not better then humans. Besides, monster did have a few things humans did not: Mettaton (of which he was not too big a fan, but which he admired for what he was) was a prime example. Alphys' cellphones were another. He didn't bring these up, either.

"But then, humans don't have magic, do we? Stuff of fairytales, that. Interesting at best. Annoyance at worst. Says something about monsters in general, I suppose." Your father purposefully met Gaster's gaze, who was trying hard to keep the frown from his face.

It was then he fully noticed the state you were in. He'd been aware of you growing increasingly tense, like a string pulled taught, as the night went on, but at this turn of the conversation, you looked very red in the face. Your facial features were twitching, as if you were fitting to keep a straight face. 

"But, then, monsters aren't-"

You abruptly stood up, chair grating against the floor behind you. Your parents' heads snapped to you in surprise, then in traces of anger.

"_________! Do not interrupt your father. Sit down and apologize at once." 

"I'm sorry." You said, slowly, as if you were strangled. "But we must be going. It was... It was something, seeing you again. Goodbye." And, with a gentle tug at Gaster's shoulder, you left, your parents fuming behind you. But they did not stand from their seats as Gaster dipped his head to them and went after you.

Once outside, you broke into tears. Not loudly, but quietly, dribbling rivers of salt water rolling down your face in the harsh light of the street lamps. You would not meet his gaze, not even when he stopped you beside the car to gently thumb the tear tracks from your cheeks. He frowned sadly down at you, unsure what to say or do. Eventually, he settled for gently pressing his teeth to each of your temples in an attempt to sooth you.

You slid into the car quietly and he followed. The ride passed in silence, and while your tears eventually stopped, the solemn and pained look on your face did not leave. You pulled up in front of his house, and, as he pressed another kiss to your palm before he stepped out, you finally said something.

"I'm sorry."

It dawned on him. You weren't truly upset- not entirely, anyway- by what your parents had tried to subtly jab in your direction, but rather his. You were rolling in guilt and shame and self loathing because of what they had said about monsters, not about your dreams. You were afraid he would be angry- worse, upset- by what they had said and possibly even leave you because of your parents beliefs.

He wasn't sure how to comfort you. While he would never leave you over something so trivial, so useless, he wasn't sure that was the right thing to say.

"It's alright, songbird. It's alright." He whispered out, tracing his fingertips over your cheek gently. "Go home and get some rest. I will see you tomorrow...?" He paused, one leg out the car door.

"I guess. I'm sorry." 

With one last small frown, he slipped out and waved you off as you drove quietly away.

He should have cancelled the plans. Made up an excuse. Lied. Anything would be better then seeing you torn up like that- usually so bubbly, so generally chipper, brought down to such a low by none other then your own parents. Part of him was furious with them for hurting you; the other part was more worried about how you would most likely feel for the next few days.

He stood out there, in the dark and quiet, long after your tail lights had dwindled to specks and disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ,,,,
> 
> This is really bad,,,, I apologize,,


	24. So I cannot make you proud of me.

Gaster made a prediction over how you would be over the next few days: 

You would probably end up slightly distant and distracted, like before when you had doubts about the relationship. You might even avoid the lab entirely for a few days. You would probably bash and attack yourself more frequently, probably be even more careless about your own safety then before. 

His predictions were majorly correct.

You did show up every day, but you looked very, very tired. You apologized a lot, often asking Gaster if he needed anything or any favors. You were very clumsy- or, more so then usual. You were very self conscious, getting embarrassed and skittish very easily, even around Sans and Doppelgänger. It was worrying, watching you look so abashed and crestfallen at even the little things. 

Roughly a week or so had passed since the introduction he had gotten to your parents. Part of him found it impossible that you- you, such a kind, considerate and chipper, optimistic personality with so much love to give the world- had come from... them. Now, in a sense, he could understand where they were coming from; he was a monster, you were a human, they didn't know a thing about him and here he was courting their child. But the other part of him was angry at the way they had managed to shake you. 

To hell with what they said about him; he couldn't have cared less about that. What he did care about was you. 

You, walking backwards to step away from the window, accidentally bumped something with your elbow. Immediately, you jumped and whirled to steady it. "Sorry, sorry, I'm kind of out of it today. Sorry." 

Gaster frowned, searching for what to say. "Songbird-"

Just then, your phone went off. You seemed to wince at the noise, turning to give your bag a glare before going out and pulling out the device. With a frown, you quickly shut it off and stuffed it back into the bag. For a few long moments, you stood over the bag, staring down at it.

"... Songbird?"

You jerked out of your thoughts, turning to give him a halfhearted smile. "Sorry. Wrong number. Telemarketer, I think."

Doppelgänger, sorting through a file nearby, glanced up. "You can tell by the number?"

You shuffled your feet, looking away. "Kind of. Just a hunch, I guess." You squirmed awkwardly where you stood for a moment, then headed for the door. "I'm going to get some water. Be back in a sec." 

Normally, that meant you were going to the restroom, but saying that grossed Doppelgänger out, so you more often then not didn't say so.

Gaster was lost in thought for a few moments, then your phone went off again. That had been happening more and more recently, with you growing agitated towards it. He had a feeling it was not a telemarketer as you said it was. 

After a moment of hesitation, he walked over and opened your bag, soon finding the ringing device. Doppler peered at him.

"I don't think they'd appreciate you being nosy, Doc."

"Scientists are prone to curiosity."

"Curiosity. Right."

Gaster flipped the phone over, scowling down at it a moment later.

Incoming Call: Mother

So that's who'd been calling you all this time. A glare found a home on his face as he straightened up, still gripping the phone. Doppler, apparently recognizing the look on his face, glanced between him and the phone.

"Doc, don't do anything stupid."

"If they wish to talk so badly, then they can talk to me." 

You stepped back into the lab just in time to hear the last words and the way your head snapped up to focus on the skeleton was enough to let him know you didn't think it was a good idea. The look of panic that flashed across your face in the next instant was another indicator.

But his thumb was already falling to press the small green button.

"Gast, wait!" 

Click. He lifted the phone to the equivalent of where his ear would be. He felt bad, but watching the way your expression crumbled forced him to turn away.

"It is about time you answered your phone! Your father and I have been worried sick about you, how dare you-"

"I see no reason for you to have worried. They are an adult, after all. From what I've seen, they can take care of themselves."

A pause. Doppler gave Gaster a look, then walked briskly past him, supposedly to you.

"Hand the phone to my child." It wasn't even a question. As if this person had some sort of authority over him. Sure, they had been the person to raise you as a child, but what was that over what they were doing now?

"I don't think that'd be best."

"And who are you to say so? I am their mother."

"And the weight of that is...?"

"I am the one who raised them. Do not talk down to me, you nobody monster."

"If raising a person makes you a form of authority, then I have more over you, seeing as I raised two boys myself."

"I can't believe this."

"Neither can I. Here they are as an adult, fully capable of making their own decisions, and there you are acting as if they don't know what they want or how to get it."

"Because they don't!"

"And how is it your place to say that?" Gaster was growing increasingly agitated with the human on the other end of the line. He was consciously attempting to calm himself so as not to come across as what your parents thought he was- a no good monster that wasn't right for their child.

"I want what is best for my child." Your mother had quieted down from where she was raising her voice, and he thought he might have detected a bit of sincerity in her tone.

"I can understand that. But controlling them and attempting to strangle them out of a relationship and attempting to discourage them from what makes them happy is not alright. Understand me? I can understand where you are coming from. I have two boys of my own. But I would not do that to them. I want them to be happy. If what you see as 'best for them' conflicts with what makes them happy, then perhaps you need to draw back and look at the big picture. Do you understand that?"

"..."

"Goodbye."

With that, he pulled the phone away and pressed the small red button, ending the call. He took a deep breath, calming himself before turning around. He frowned, guilt washing over him. You were still standing beside the door, looking unsure what to do. Doppelgänger was saying something, hand on your shoulder as he murmured something into your ear. 

Gaster winced. He shouldn't have done that. Goes to show what happens when you work in the heat of the moment. He stooped, scooping up your bag and resting it on the counter, slipping your phone inside and zipping it up again. When he turned again, you were sitting in your usual chair, water bottle on the counter top beside you. Doppler was back where he started beside the files he'd dragged in, but was obviously paying more attention to the scene rather then the papers.

Gaster took a few hesitant steps toward you. "... Songbird?"

You, hunched over as if studying the floor, raised your head a little, just enough to look at him. "So. Uh. What did... I'm guessing it was my mom. What did she say?" You looked nervous even as you asked, eyes searching his as if expecting to find something there.

"Something about wanting the best for you. Absolute garbage, if you ask me." He tried to give you a reassuring smile, but it dropped when you looked away, scratching at your cheek.

"I'm... sorry. About them. They can be... I didn't think they'd be that obvious about it. If I'd known, I would have told them to fuck off sooner." You ran a hand through your hair, something he found that he liked when you did it. "Just... You know that just because they raised me and they said those things doesn't mean I think the same way, right?" 

He blinked, then reached out with a hand and ghosted his fingers over your cheek, unsure as to what to do otherwise. "Of course I know that. Whatever gave you that idea?"

"I was afraid they'd scare you off. Make you think I was the same as them. That I thought monsters were- what did he say?- 'outdated relics of the past'? Something like that." You drew a hand across your face, refusing to meet his gaze.

"That's silly. What kind of fool do you take me for?" He chuckled, lifting you for only as long as it took for him to slip under you, reclining on the chair with you now on his lap. He couldn't help but smile when your cheeks turned a lovely shade of red.

"I just thought... I don't know. It seems pretty silly now, but it seemed a genuine concern at the time." You fiddled with one of his hands, drawing a finger down each of the phalanges as you felt all the little dips and curves of them.

"Well, it was not a logical one, if I was entirely honest."

"Rude!" You elbowed him softly, giving him a half hearted glare. 

He chuckled, pressing a gentle peck to one of your cheeks. "Sincerest apologies."

"I expect nothing less." You tossed your head, snubbing him before you broke into a laugh of your own. He was relieved to see you shedding your previous anxiety, prompting him to give you another kiss on your other cheek, making you squirm and blush. He felt faintly proud that he could draw such a reaction out of you.

"Get a room!" 

Doppler barely managed to dodge the water bottle chucked his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a scenario you want to see? Leave it in the comments! I'll see what I can do. ;3


	25. Tipsy

It was warm inside Grillby's as you strummed your guitar at the bar, wondering what to play. Doppler had said he and Douglas were going out tonight, and you had suggested a double date to Grillby's. Doppler was hesitant, but after running it past his date, he gave in. Gaster was more then happy to oblige. 

It meant he'd get to hear you sing again, he said. That left you flattered, waving a hand at him with a cheeky smile.

So far, the night was going nicely. Douglas was a pretty great guy, if a bit wooden (ba dum tsh), and he and Doppler seemed to be having a nice time. Douglas wasn't shy to giving his gray, goopy boyfriend little pecks every now and then, though they left Doppler blushing furiously. He got angry when you teased him about it, reminding you of the time Gaster had accidentally nipped at your neck when he was aiming for a simple kiss and you practically fainted.

Point taken.

Gaster was seemingly eagerly waiting for you to start up another song- you'd already done two fairly short ones, and wanted to do a longer one to close the night off- head tilted to the side as he watched your fingers ghost over the guitar strings.

"Welp, I've got nothing." You eventually sighed out. "Got any ideas, guys?" Doppler shrugged, and Douglas seemed to think about it before shrugging as well. Gaster fidgeted a moment, then whispered a request into your ear before drawing away.

"... Would that be alright?" He almost looked nervous that he'd asked.

"Sure thing, boo." You flashed him a smile when he flushed in surprise, jumping off the stool to stroll around the bar while you played.

(I don't fucking know what song to put here, so just imagine I put something here. I'm sorry that I stink.)

By the time you returned to the bar, it seemed Douglas and Doppler had goaded Gaster into a 'drinking game' of sorts. Mostly it seemed they just wanted to see how many shots it took to get Gaster drunk, to be honest. That was alright, he probably knew his limits and would be sensible enough not to go past them.

Turns out he was a lightweight and he drank enough to surprise you. After he got tipsy, it seemed his apprehension about getting drunk ebbed and he drank more freely. Eventually- much to your relief- he stopped before he got absolutely slammed. It seemed he was on the edge of 'tipsy' and 'actually drunk.'

It was then you decided it'd be best to get him home.

"Come on, Gast, let's get you home. Thanks for the nice night, guys! See ya. See ya, Grillbz." 

The fire monster dipped his head to you while you led your blinking skeleton to the door, guiding him to the darkened street, following the line of street lights.

At first, you were afraid you'd have to half-carry him home, but it seemed he was sober enough to walk properly. You kept a close eye on him at first, but it seemed he had enough sense to know where he was going, humming tunelessly along beside you.

Alright, that's good. He was a smart drunk. Good to know.

After a little while, his hand found yours. While it brought a smile to your face, you couldn't help but a cast a glance in his direction as he swung your hand loosely.

"So, have a good time with those guys tonight, Gast?"

"Yes. Most certainly. Nice fellow, that tree one." He hummed again, hand squeezing yours. 

"I'd have to agree with you on that." 

For a little while, you chatted back and forth. It seemed Gaster was mostly the same when he was tipsy, if a little more free spoken. Also, he seemed to edge closer and closer to you as you walked along. By the time his house was in sight, he was practically up against your side. 

"Gast, hand me your keys."

"Quite alright." After a moment of fumbling a hand in his pocket, his keys dropped into your waiting hand with a pleasant 'clink.'

"Thanks, Gast."

"Not a problem. Not a problem at all. At all."

You chuckled, attempting to let go of his hand to unlock the door. While he didn't seem too happy about it, he eventually relinquished his grasp and let you turn around. While you slid his key into the lock, you were surprised by two sturdy arms winding their way around your waist. It made you freeze.

"... Gast?"

"Hmmmmmm?" He nuzzled into your neck and you could feel the impression of his teeth through your hair.

"... Sooo, what's up?" 

This was still your Gaster, right? The nervous, timid little goofball dork that was still nervous about kissing you in front of your friend?

"While he may have been a good fellow, I do not like that monster from the bar. He was rubbing me quite the wrong way." He muttered into your hair, nosing you again.

"... Eh?"

"I didn't like the way that tree fellow was looking at you." He pressed his teeth to your neck in an almost protective kiss and you could feel the frown on his mouth. "He wanted you for himself, he did. Could see it all over his face."

Oh. My. God. This was hilarious.

You stifled a laugh. "Um, Gast? That was Doppelgänger's date. You know, his boyfriend?" 

He seemed to pause and you could practically feel him scowling in thought. "... Oh."

"Yeah." With a choked snicker, you turned the key in the lock and pushed the door open. "Come on, Gast, let's get you inside."

You ended up having to shuffle inside with him still clinging to you from behind. Closing the door was a struggle, considering he didn't want to let you go. He continued to press his teeth to your neck gently, making you flustered and your cheeks hot.

"Um, Gast."

"Hmmmm?"

"So. You're being pretty... affectionate tonight."

"Hm, yes, I've been wanting to do this for a long time, really. Pesky nerves getting in the way, though. Making me too timid to work up the guts to do it, pardon the term." He hummed gently against your skin. "You can drive me mad, did you know? Little things you do make me want to smother you in kisses, you know? Can be awfully distracting. Makes it hard to focus on my work when you chew your lip like that." 

He trailed off into muttering to himself, leaving you very red in the face and flustered. Welp. You hadn't noticed that before. Perhaps it could be used to your advantage at some point.

You were jolted out of your thoughts when he opened his mouth and just barely, very lightly, sank the tips of his teeth into your skin. While it wasn't enough to hurt- not in the slightest- it was certainly enough to make you jump.

"G-Gast!"

"Hm? Sorry if that hurt, dearest. Not quite in my right mind at the moment." He breathed on the place he'd bitten you, then something smooth and wet and slightly warm dabbed at it gently.

"G-Gast!"

"Hm?"

You were going to spontaneously combust if he didn't stop soon. "Let's get you to bed, alright? Yeah? Yeah." 

He humphed, but nodded after a moment and you realized he was beginning to sound groggy. "Alright. Quite alright. Have a point. Going to regret this in the morning, hm?"

"I can only imagine."

With a little bit of trouble (he was practically asleep in your arms by the time you reached his bedroom), you managed to get him on his bed. With a tug, you got his shoes off and a moment later you draped a sheet over him. He curled up much like a cat, nuzzling into his pillow with another hum. You shook your head, chuckling as you fetched a glass of water and some painkillers for him in the morning. 

When you set them on the table beside his bed, he cracked an eye open to look at you.

"Thank you, songbird."

"Not a problem, Gast." You leaned over and gave one of the cracks near his eye a quick smooch. He blushed despite himself, giving you a flustered smile. "Goodnight, Gast. Feel free to stay home tomorrow."

"I'll consider. But I'm hoping you'll come to see me if I do."

You chuckled. "Alright. I'll consider. Goodbye, Gast."

"Goodbye, dear. Have a nice night."

It was a very nice night out, despite your still-burning cheeks. Your guitar was light at your side as you trotted the way to your own apartment. Oh, wait till Doppler heard about this! Gaster would never live it down, not that you would let him to begin with. So, he got hot under the collar when you bit your lip, huh?

You were caught under the collar as hand shot out from the right, flinging you into an alleyway. You staggered, disoriented for a moment, then turned to face your assailant. You were well-prepared to use your guitar- as much as you loved it- as a weapon if someone was looking for a fight.

But not against roughly half a dozen large, angry men. You didn't quite like the look in their eyes.

"H-hey, fellas. How's it, uh, going?" You put up your hands, attempting to smile as you stepped away. 

They advanced, hands curling and lips sneering. You continued to back up, even as you knew you were cornered. 

"H-hey, wait! I've got money, if that's what you want, you can take it! Wait, please, please! I'm not looking for a fight, please, don't-!" Panic flared in your chest as the walls came to form a corner around you. Fear dribbled down your arms in the form of cold sweat.

A hand found the front of your shirt. A fist drew back.

"Dirty monster lover."

And the fist met your face in a sharp crack that sent pain searing through your skull and stars dancing across your vision.

After that, it took you a while to pass out, and up until then it seemed there was nothing but objects of hurt- flying fists, feet, blunt weapons- on all sides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not even sorry. Mostly I needed a catalyst for Reader getting hurt, and at the same time wanted to do clingy Gast, so killed two birds with one stone, I guess. You're welcome.


	26. Despite Everything,

The first time you woke, it was to a fairly familiar face, a hand on your shoulder turning you over.

Your vision at first was as blurry as if you were underwater trying to see the surface, but it slowly focused to see the peachy-white sky as the sun slowly coming up. Much closer, however, was the warm glow of your favorite bartender, Grillby. 

He had rolled you over onto your side from where you had apparently been lying on your stomach, nonexistent eyes searching you over as he lifted your shirt up to your ribs, prodding here and there, making you wince a few times. 

It was then you realized how much your hurt. All over, but especially in your arms and in your head and inside your mouth. Your eyes ached at the light.

Grillby carefully lowered your shirt again, and he began to feel down your arms, gently and carefully as if your were made of glass. His cellphone was tucked up to where his ear would be, held there by a hunched shoulder.

"No, no stab wounds." He murmured into it, quiet even as he seemingly checked you over for any bad injuries. When you hissed and panted at his touch running down your arm, he paused. "Perhaps a broken arm. Yes, appears they've been mugged, attacked, perhaps. I will keep them stable until they get here. Thank you." And, with that, he clicked his phone off and tucked it into his pocket. It was then he seemed to realize you were awake, your name falling from his mouth in faint surprise, perhaps a bit of concern, maybe a tad of worry. It was hard to tell with him.

You chuckled, wincing when the action cussed your ribs to shriek in protest. "H-hey, Grillbz." Your voice sounded broken. Choppy. Hoarse. Slurred as a drunks. "How's it going?"

"Do you remember what happened? Where is Gaster?" He adjusted you so that you were on your back, the gravel and grit of the alley digging into your shoulders and back.

"Fine. Gaster 'sfine. Got him home. Ont' way back when..." Your memory failed you. Everything was hazy, and the harder you tried to grasp it, the more it slipped away.

"When?" He rolled up one of your sleeves, a thumb pressing your into your better wrist as if he was checking your pulse.

"Can't remember. Maybe I go' drunk too, eh?" You tried a smile and something warm and with a sharp tang rolled out of your mouth. Upon prodding with your tongue, you found a hole where a molar used to be. No wonder your jaw- your whole face- ached so much. "Who ya callin, Grillbz? Fin'lly gotsa girlfriend, eh?" You wheezed out a chuckle, but it seemed every breath was cracking your ribs from the inside so you decided maybe it wasn't the best idea.

"Ambulance. Focus. Last night, you walked Gaster home?" He prodded at the side of your head and you realized it felt warm and sticky. 

"Yeah! You see how drunk he wa'? Wai'ill Dop hears..." Your mind, hazy with pain and an odd wooziness, tired from how tense your muscles were and the struggle of trying to remember, threatened to dip you back into black nothingness.

"Focus."

Next thing you knew, there were strange men, men you didn't recognize, surrounding you and closing in on you and putting their hands on you. It sparked some lost memory and you whimpered and struggled and strained to get away because this felt all too familiar and it gave you a bad feeling and you wanted to be anywhere but here and you had the distinct feeling you were forgetting something, something important!

"Calm down, we're here to help you. You're going to be alright. Do you remember what day it is can you tell me the date?" One of the men murmured to you rather gently, and suddenly your shirt was lifted away to reveal your bruised and battered sides and ribcage. The other helped him lift you and they put you on what you realized was a stretcher. It was jarring and made you wince and pant out a breath that made you hurt even more.

"Don' know. May? May something."

"I think we've got a concussion here." The soft spoken one said to the other and the other nodded, and you were too tired to fight back anymore, besides, whatever was in that IV that they just hooked you up to was making the pain ebb, very, very slowly.

Grillby was talking to another one a few feet away, this one a cop. 

"And you said you found them here like this this morning?"

"Yes."

"How long do you think they've been here?"

"Since eleven last night, at the least. Perhaps later. They left my bar around that time to take their boyfriend home."

"Alright. You have any idea how if you can get in contact with him?"

"I will."

They said something more, but the next instant you were being lifted and pushed into the back of the vehicle, the doors closing loudly behind you. The soft spoken one was the one who climbed in beside you.

Just before the doors closed, you caught a glimpse of your guitar, a bent out of shape heap of strings and rugged pieces of wood. Ah, that was what you were forgetting. Sad. No amount of repairs could fix that.

You didn't have time to mourn for it. While he poked and prodded you over, Soft was asking you questions.

"When's your birthday?"

When you told him, he chuckled. 

"Funny. You and I are only a few days apart. You have any friends?"

"Yea."

"Can you tell me their names?"

"Grillbz, he was back 'ere." You winced as he felt at your ribcage, soon scribbling something onto a pad of paper nearby. "Doppler, gray goop guy. He's pretty... not chill." Soft chuckled at this. "And Gast. He's pretty kissable, ya know? Pretty cute, too, fo' a skellie."

"I see. Your friends are all monsters, then?"

Something about that sent your heart beat rocketing up. "Y-yea."

"Hey, no need to fear, I'm in the same boat, here. I'm planning on proposing to my girlfriend pretty soon. Don't tell her I said that, though." He shot you a wink, giving you a surprisingly calm smile.

He was a nice guy, you decided.

"Do you remember what happened last night?"

"No' really. Gast got drunk. Walked him home. Some men. Alleyway."

"That's a good start. How many men?"

"Too many."

He chuckled. "Gonna need a number."

"Can't remember."

Your mind was getting hazy as the truck jarred to a stop, and you found yourself slipping away again as you were brought into a building that was very, very bright and smelled like bleach and cough syrup.

 

The second time you woke, you felt monumentally better. Your ribs still ached, your head was pounding, your non-dominant arm hurt like a bitch, but despite that, you felt much better. Your thoughts were much easier to organize and your mind was less hazy, which was a relief.

You flexed first your dominant hand, then turned to the other and were surprised to find it wrapped in a cast and held up by a sling. Upon taking a deep breath, you were aware of something restricting the movement on your left side. Upon touching it, you found the thick, spongy material of a bandage, seemingly taped in place. 

Huh.

You were fixing to roll up your thin, unfamiliar shirt to see what that was about when a nurse came into the room. She quickly told you that wasn't the best idea, and that you shouldn't strain your arm or your side because you might pull something loose again. 

"How are you feeling?"

"Um. To be honest, kind of like I got ran over. A couple dozen times. With a tractor. But other then that, I'm cool." Your voice was still choppy and broken, and it faintly hurt to speak.

The nurse laughed, checked your drip, and switched out the bag. "Your fire friend said he was trying to call up some of your pals, but he was having hard time getting a hold of anyone. But, he also said your friends drank more then a little bit of alcohol last night and he wasn't very surprised." She chuckled.

"Yeah, I'm not surprised either." 

As she was reading off a chart at the end of your bed, she continued to chat idly with you, seemingly to take your mind off your aches and pains. "So, I'm assuming one of these guys he'd trying to get ahold of is...?" 

It took you a second to realize the implied question. "Oh, yeah. My boyfriend. He got kind of drunk last night and I had to walk him home, but on the way to my place..." You trailed off, remembering with a wince the group of men closing in around you, fists, fists, fists on all sides.

"What's he like?"

"Oh. He's, uh, a skeleton. Pretty cute, though, for being entirely bone."

She laughed. It was nice to see not everyone was a giant scumbag. Eventually, she had to leave, but not before making sure you had a glass of water and a small cup of little, colorful tablets. 

Some part of you wondered if this was what it was like for Taylor.

You were flipping idly through a small pamphlet about the hospital when there was a faint rustling from outside. At first, you thought it was just another person coming and going. Then you recognized the nurse's voice-

"Yes, it's that room right there. They should still be awake. Go ahead right on in."

Half a second later, the door was hastily pushed open and in loomed your favorite skeleton, an armful of flowers tucked into one elbow, a worried frown bringing out the cracks from his eyes. 

You gave your best smile, causing your right eye to ache in protest. "Hey, Gast. How's it going?"

He promptly dropped the flowers on the first available surface and rushed to your side, hands finding your good one in a tight, careful embrace. He looked like he might have been crying, eyes looking you over as if waiting to see you bleed out from some nonexistent stab wound.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry, I came as soon as I realized, I was quite out of this morning for obvious reasons, but that's no excuse, i should have been here sooner, I shouldn't have let you get hurt, my goodness, just look at you." His frowned deepened, worry lines forming above his eyes as he reached out a hand to barely brush his fingers under your eye, touch light as feather.

"Gast, I'm fine. Not 100%, sure, but not dead, hey! That's something."

That served to send him into hysterics. 

Tears dribbled out of his sockets, and he repeatedly pressed his teeth to your cheeks, sputtering out apologies and vows to keep you safe and pleads to forgive him for letting you get so hurt when he should have taken better care not to let this happen at all. 

"Gast, Gast, calm down." 

"I'm so sorry, dear songbird, you got so hurt and I did nothing to prevent it from happening, I am so very sorry." He nuzzled your shoulder, making your arm ache a tad stronger then before.

"Gaster." 

He paused, hands holding your own relaxing slightly. After a moment, he pulled away, wiping at his sockets with an expression very akin to guilt and shame.

"Gast, you're fine. What happened happened. I think it was going to happen eventually. Whether you were there or not, someone was going to get hurt, and it just so happened to be me. That's alright. I'm not entirely sure what exactly is wrong with me, but whatever it is, it'll be fixed in time. No big deal." You gave his hand a reassuring pat and he suddenly looked up at you as if you were insane.

"'No big deal?' '/No big deal/?' You could have been very well killed! I am fairly certain that qualifies as a 'big deal'!" He was practically fuming, seemingly infuriated that you would say such a thing to begin with.

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry. Okay. I got fucked up. Okay. Not exactly the first time, but that was emotionally and not physically."

He let out a sigh, then seemed to draw himself together. He took one of your hands in his own, tracing a circle around your palm softly. "I'm sorry, songbird. I... forget, at times, how fragile humans are. Yes, your souls may be stronger then ours, but you are... soft." As if to prove his point, he probed the skin of your palm a little harder. His eyes were sad and soft around the edges, different from how tense they'd been just a minute before. "It... scares me. I fear for you. I don't what I'd do with myself if you..." He stopped, a fresh frown working its way across his face. He still hadn't looked up to meet your gaze, as if ashamed of what he was admitting.

"Gast." You pulled your hand from his, wanting to grab both of his own hands, which was kind of hard when one of yours was restricted by a sling. "It's alright. Just because I'm soft doesn't mean I'm not resilient. Besides, it looks worse then it is, I bet my left butt cheek."

He shot you a look. "Be serious."

"I am, butt jokes aside! Skin may bruise easily, but it heals just as easily, especially if they're feeding medicine into me." You nodded to the drip beside your head, gesturing to your wrist where the tube was stuck under your skin. "I'll be better before you can say 'my left butt cheek.' I should know, I've been studying up on all this junk for two years."

"... Are you sure?" He was looking faintly reassured, eyes searching yours as if a date and time for when you would be 100% again would be there.

"Well, I mean, mostly. I'm not 100% sure exactly what's wrong with me, it looks like my arm got fucked up bad enough to warrant this," you wiggled the cast, which forced another wince out of you and a frown from Gaster, "my side hurts like fuck all, my head feels like hell is waging a war in there, and my eye is still kind of acting like a bitch, but if I was as bad as you're acting, I would probably be in intensive care or whatever." 

Gaster frowned deeper, thumb running over your knuckles tenderly. "... You have an awful potty mouth when you hurt, it seems."

"Sue me for it. Would you prefer more butt jokes?"

He gave a half hearted chuckle. "Well, your sass is still intact, at the very least."

"Hello? I'm assuming you guys have reunited?" The nurse pulled the door open slightly, a file tucked under one arm. When you waved her inside, she gave a smile and stepped up a small... whiteboard? on one wall. "You guys are totally cute, by the way."

Gaster flushed and you gave him a peck on the cheek, making him hide behind his hands.

"Anyway, I heard you say something about not being entirely sure how hurt you are?" 

When you nodded, she flipped open the folder in her arm and pulled out a few black sheets, soon sticking them to the whiteboard. You were only faintly surprised when, as she flicked a switch in the side, it illuminated the sheets, showing them to be x-Rays of (assumably your own) arms, ribcage, and legs. Gaster was instantly transfixed by them, eyes focusing on the thin fracture lines running through the radius, ulna and fourth rib. 

"Well, your rib is the one that took the least amount of damage, but we wanted to make sure it doesn't try shifting anywhere while it fixes itself, so that's the bandage you noticed earlier. Your radius and ulna aren't that bad, we've only got them in a cast to make sure they don't get jittered around too much while they heal. We were worried your legs might have sustained some damage, but they were only bruised, which was a relief. You've got a concussion, which is probably why you can't remember exactly happened, but that should fade in a little while. Try to stay off your feet for a while, be careful with heavy machinery, etc. etc.." 

She dusted off her hands, then planted them on her hips. 

"So. Any questions?"

Gaster, still looking over the x-rays as if they held some kind of answer he was searching for, was the one to speak. "How long will it take for them to heal?"

"Well, their arm should be better in roughly 6-8 weeks, and the rib should take roughly the same amount of time. Recovery for concussions varies, but it may take one or two weeks for them to feel completely back to normal. You're pretty lucky, you know? Could have been a lot worse." The nurse leaned against the wall, tilting her head to catch a glimpse of the x-rays. 

"I would not call this luck." Gaster's hand tightened around yours, eyes surprisingly cold.

The nurse eventually left after checking your drip again, making sure you had water and making sure Gaster wouldn't do anything stupid. Gaster plucked the x-rays off the wall, holding them up to the light as if to study them closer.

"... Gast?" He was behaving unlike you'd seen him before and it was throwing you off.

For a moment, he was quiet. "... I forget, sometimes, that you are- have a- skeleton, as well. If this were to happen to one of us, it would be more or less permanent. It takes special magic to heal a skeleton's wounds. If it does not come in time, the wounds would leave... 'scars' of a sort." 

You knew he was thinking about his own scars.

"Don't worry about it. I'll be better in like, less then two months? Maybe a little more." You gave your best attempt at a shrug, considering your shoulder still hurt. "You can't shake me off that easy. Sorry to disappoint." You gave a wry smile, quirking an eyebrow at him. 

Your smile slowly dropped when he turned to give you a surprisingly... serious look. Solemn, almost. It forced you to look away.

"... Alright. Sorry. Not the time for dark humor. I get it. Sorry."

After a moment, he placed the x-rays back where he got them from and sat beside you again. 

"What happened? Grillby said something about a mugging, but said he did not know the details."

You told him what you knew- you were on your way home, you got cornered, there was a group of men, how many you couldn't recall, enough to make you know fighting back would be worthless and make things worse, pain, Grillby finding you- and assured him your memory would probably come back to you in time and you would be able to recall what the men looked like to make sure they got what they deserved in the long run.

To say he took it badly would be an understatement.


	27. It's still You.

"Gast, you need to calm down."

"I'll calm down when I'm dead." 

You had been spending the last ten minutes attempting to calm Gaster's sudden, unexpected and fiery rage. He was pacing briskly up and down in front of your bed while all you could do was sit there and watch him. He had, at first, demanded that you tell him what the people that did this to you looked like so he could find them and 'take care of this himself.' When you had told him you didn't remember, he had urged you to try. When you said it made your head pound to try and recollect anything more about the previous night, he had dropped the subject of looks.

Instead, he moved onto the subject of tracking their souls down by feel rather then by sight.

Just trying to wrap your head around that made you want to drown in sleep and pain pills.

After a few minutes, he had taken to muttering angrily to himself while he paced up and down, every so often exclaiming something to you angrily. His hands took to curling and uncurling periodically, fists faintly trembling as he contained whatever was fighting to burst forth through him. You thought you saw his eyes flicker odd colors once or twice, but it must have been the lights in this dumb hospital room.

He stopped to cross his arms beside the window, foot tapping insistently against the tiled floor. "Simply unimaginable. Absurd. Abominable. Oh, when I get my hands on them..." He trailed off, scowling out the window as if by will alone he could make that group of guys drop dead.

"Gast, I think we should let the law handle this."

"To hell with the law, if they don't do something soon, I'll take it into my own hands."

"I'm pretty sure that's illegal."

He snorted, narrowing his eye sockets. "... It's not illegal if you don't get caught." He eventually muttered out, fingers tapping at his arm distractedly. "The rules above ground are absurd. Underground, if someone did you a turn as bad as this, you were even /expected/ to take matters into your own hands if the royal guard wasn't necessary." 

"... Please don't do that. I don't want you to be arrested because you weren't patient enough to wait for the guys who actually need to be arrested get arrested."

He snorted again, but said no more. 

For another few minutes, all you could do was sit there and listen to him as he started pacing again.

"Is this a common occurrence above ground? Being attacked in the dark with no means of defending yourself with no warning?"

"Well, I mean, kind of? Mostly in like, big cities. And even then it's not like... You get mugged every day. I mean, I guess you could be, if you traveled through the rougher parts of town a lot, but..."

"That's absurd. Security is utter garbage, then. Absurd. And they say humans have the more advanced civilization." 

You sipped at your glass of water. "Well, it's not really the security, I guess it could be, but humans are just kind of assholes to each other. And to monsters. Humans are assholes in general. Some people hurt other people cause they need money, though. It's not all just out of malice. I mean, some of it might be, but, you know."

He humphed. "I doubt whoever attacked you had very good intentions. None of this would have happened if I hadn't drank. Though humans having a better society might have helped. Honestly, what are they teaching you? That taking out your built up anger on others is alright so long as it's dark and they can't defend themselves and you can't get caught? Absurd." 

"They broke it, by the way."

"What?"

"My guitar. They broke my guitar."

And you both fell silent. Gaster stopped pacing by the window, angry expression falling away. His hands dropped to rest at his sides, and his eyes went from dark and dangerous to soft and sad. Suddenly, the Gaster you knew and loved was back. 

That guitar had been a gift from Taylor, several years before they were diagnosed. Gaster knew this.

He sat quietly beside you, pulling his gloves off before taking your good hand in his, though he wouldn't look up at you or meet your gaze. He gently ran his thumb over your tendons, back and forth, back and forth. It was quiet for a long time. 

"... I'm sorry." He eventually whispered out, then looked up and suddenly his eyes widened, a fresh, worried frown finding its way on his face. 

For a moment, you were confused. Then your vision started to split and spike at the edges and you realized something warm and wet was trailing down your cheeks. Somehow, at some point, without you realizing, you had started crying. 

Gaster's hands- still gloveless- came up to wipe the tears away, and the boney fingers were surprisingly warm and smooth and soothing. "Please, please, don't cry. Perhaps we can repair it?"

He must have meant the guitar. "Ah, no. It's pretty... broken. Would be pretty futile to even try." You let out a dry chuckle, even though it hurt your throat. "Sorry. Don't know what's gotten into me."

He shook his head, hands resting on your cheeks even after you had stopped crying. "Don't be sorry. Sometimes you simply need to cry."

"Just like how sometimes you just need to rant about the state of humanity for like, half an hour?"

He averted his gaze. "Sorry. I don't know what came over me."

You chuckled again. "It's alright, Gast. I'm just teasing."

After a moment, he looked back to you, then leaned in and gently pressed his teeth to your lips. Why, you weren't entirely sure, since he normally only did that after you did 'little things that warmed his heart,' his words, not yours, but you went along with it. 

After a moment, he pulled away, though he still lingered close to your face.

"Oh my god, don't tell me you guys are about to get romantic in a hospital bed." 

Gaster wouldn't have moved faster if he'd been shocked with a tazer. Doppelgänger, standing in the room's doorway with a bag of your favorite candy in his hands, quirked an eyebrow at the doctor as if his suspicions had been confirmed.

"... You're absolutely unbelievable, doc."

"I-it's not at all what you're thinking! You're the one with your mind in the gutter!"

"Yeah, and you're the one smooching up on your lover when they're in a damn hospital bed."


	28. Bubblewrap

"Gast, this is getting ridiculous."

"I'm not sure what you're referring to."

"I can not believe you just considered it when I said you can't bubblewrap the world to keep me safe."

Two weeks had passed since you'd been allowed out of the hospital, had the last chat with the kind policemen who reminded you to keep in touch in case your memory returned, and realized just how mothering Gaster could be.

The guy had absolutely no chill. He never let you walk anywhere without someone with you, whether it be himself, Doppelgänger (who was just as fed up as you were by this point), Sans, or, at times, his other son, Papyrus (who was absolutely precious, by the way, and insisted you coach him in singing at some point, making you flustered). Whenever you were home alone for more than an hour at a time, he would either come to see you or invite you over to his place so he could keep an eye on you. You had yet to tell him the reason the men had attacked was because you were in a relationship with a monster, and didn't plan on telling him any time soon, because he might just have a mental breakdown.

But, hell, all you wanted was to go for a walk for, like, ten minutes. A moment of peace. A moment of quiet. A moment alone.

The second you'd touched the doorknob, however, Gaster had appeared and asked where you were going. When you'd admitted you just wanted to go for a walk, he'd immediately slipped his shoes on and made to go with you, 'So as to make sure no certain human beings should happen upon on you when you were weak.'

It was getting fucking ridiculous.

Gaster flushed, but crossed his arms and looked away. "I simply want to assure your safety. Is that really worthy of attack?"

You sighed, running a hand over your face. You really didn't know how to tell him to back off a little without being mean about it, and now you were stuck between a rock and a hard place. "You know what? Never mind. I just want to read."

Gaster frowned at you, but allowed you to chuck your shoes off and collapse on the couch, being mindful of your still-casted arm, but not even bothering to pick up a book.

You felt like a bird suddenly tethered to Earth on all sides. Half of you inner self screamed to be let free, but the other half didn't want to hurt Gaster's feelings. You knew his smothering came from a place of caring. You didn't want to treat it like he shouldn't care. 

You just wanted a little wiggle room.

You threw an arm over your eyes, letting out a quiet sigh as you laid on the couch with your legs dangling over the side. Eventually, you were aware of a shadow being cast over you but decided not to acknowledge it.

"... I'm sorry, songbird." Gaster said softly from somewhere above you. "I do not mean to frustrate you."

"I know, Gast. I know. It's fine." You sighed out, though on the inside you wanted to tear your hair out. "Don't you have paperwork to do? I thought you were falling behind in that."

It was Gaster's turn to sigh. "Quite right. If you need me, I'll be in my office." And the feeling of being loomed over disappeared, as well as the sound of Gaster's footsteps going down the hall in the direction of his small office.

For a long time, you lay there, contemplating getting up and slipping out while Gaster was distracted. But that would be wrong, wouldn't it? Secrecy breeds distrust, distrust breeds the end of otherwise lovely relationships. 

Suddenly, a thought occurred to you. Was this how Taylor felt? Strangled and held down by others fearing their doom? Had that been why they hadn't told you about it? Because it would have just made things worse? 

And then, the doorbell rang.

"I've got it." You called down the hall, rolling to your feet and heading for the foyer. Upon opening the door, your heart stopped in your chest.

"Hey, it's been a while!"

"... Taylor?"

They gave you that lopsided grin you missed so much, and stepped into the house, brushing past you. You hands were trembling, white knuckled from their grip on the door. You tried to remember how to breath.

This had to be a dream. It had to be. But then, why did it feel so real? Why were you hoping it wasn't?

"Hey, you just gonna stand there all day, or are you gonna come in and show me your second skeleton?" 

You blinked several times, then gently closed the door and trailed after them. They gave you another smile as you entered the living room, then led you down the hall down which you knew Gaster's office lay at the end of. They paused and reclined in the doorway, arms crossing curiously. Gaster was hunched over his desk, as he usually was when he was busy. He was frowning, eyebrows creased as he scribbled frantically on the papers.

"He's cute." Taylor finally said definitively.

"Ah." You were still confused and lost and it was like the first day of high school all over again, except then your best friend was 100% alive and you weren't having an existential crisis over whether you were hallucinating or not.

Suddenly, you realized Gaster hadn't reacted to anything that had happened so far. 

"You did a good job, getting this guy. I always knew you'd have guys falling at your feet, but this one is a real score." Taylor shot you a proud smile.

"T-Taylor. Is this real?" And you realized you were crying. 

They stopped smiling, looking sad. "Sure it is. But that doesn't mean I'm actually here. Come on, give me a hug. It's been a while." And they extended their arms for you, beckoning you closer.

You hesitated, then collapsed into their arms with a small noise of mixed despair and happiness. Even if it was all a dream, that didn't mean you couldn't enjoy it. It's hard, hugging someone with one arm when they have two around you, but all they did was rub your back soothingly, head on your shoulder.

Eventually, they pull away and leave you at arm's length. "You got kind of messed up, huh?"

You shrugged, giving a small smile. "Suppose so."

"Did you tell Gaster what those guys said? Before they, you know." 

You looked away. "Well, no."

"You've always been bad at this kind of thing, haven't you?" They sighed fondly. "Too kind for your own good. You know, living in the dark is okay, you can pretend the monsters don't exist, but there comes a point when you need to turn on the light and face the monsters. The truth is for the best, even if it feels like swallowing bleach." They gave you a sympathetic look, hands still on your arms.

"But what if it hurts him?" You whispered out, feeling at a loss as to what to do.

"Then you can help him feel better again afterwards. You're good at that." 

"How will I know what to say? To make him feel better, I mean."

"No one ever does. You just have to let it happen. You seem to favor that saying." And they gave that little grin, raising an eyebrow at you teasingly.

"... I miss you."

"I know." And they pulled you in again, arms nice and warm and sturdy around you. "You'll be okay. He'll be okay. You'll see. Just be honest. The truth is for the best, even if it feels like swallowing pins and needles. If you keep bottling it up, it'll go from bad to worse. One way or another, you've got to say something. Okay?"

"... Okay." 

A long pause.

"I miss you."

"... I know." 

 

"Wake up. Songbird? Please, wake up. You're crying."

A hand gently rocking your shoulder brought you out of your dream into reality with a jolt that felt like you'd been dropped from a skyscraper. Gaster, crouching beside the sofa at your side, gave you a concerned look.

"Are you alright, dear?" He said softly, hand coming up to graze your cheek. "You were crying in your sleep."

You contemplate telling him. No. You pocketed the memory. As selfish as it sounded, you wanted to keep it to yourself. It felt much more real that way.

"It's nothing. Just my eyes watering." You said, sitting up and stretching. "How's the paper work coming?"

"Alright. I'm slowly catching up."

"You sound like I did in high school every time my mom asked about my grades."

Gaster snorted, shaking his head. He backed away a little and stood up when you rose from the sofa. Your rolled your shoulders, your neck, flexed your fingers and your toes.

"Hey, Gast."

"Hm?"

"I'm going for a walk. Alone. Okay?" 

He looked very, very uncertain. 

"Ten minutes. Around the block and back. I'll have my phone on speed dial." You were already heading for the door. A hand on your shoulder stopped and you braced yourself for the worst.

Instead of what you expected, you were pulled back into a broad, comforting ribcage, arms enclosing around you while a kiss was pressed to your hair. "Alright. I'll allow it. But if you are gone for one minute more, I will be there in an instant, no matter where you are." He breathed against the top of your head, sounding hesitant even as he said it.

You smiled, twisted in his grip and pulling him down to give a kiss to each cheek. He flushed and looked away, flustered. "You won't even have time to worry. By the way, someone thinks you're cute and they're proud of me for landing you." You gave him a grin, then turned and quickly slipped out the door.

"Wait, who?" Gaster called after you, and you couldn't help but laugh at how flustered he appeared before the door shut behind you.


	29. Three Years Ago

Gaster was beginning to get concerned.

Or, at least more so than before. It almost was as if you were drawing away from him all over again, but in a different kind of way. It almost seemed you weren't aware of it at all. More and more often, you were leaving early from visits to his place. More and more often, you were leaving the lab early. More and more often, you were slipping away from him, like a slip of paper caught in a draft of wind.

Why were you leaving early? Why, the answer was easy-

To go to the graveyard. 

Why were you going to the graveyard? At first, he thought it because you were more upset about losing your guitar than you let on. But as the fourth week ticked past, it was becoming increasingly clear something was wrong. What it was, he didn't know, but there was something... off about you. Your chipper attitude and blunt ramblings remained, but something just felt... wrong. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something was making him vaguely unsettled about the whole thing. 

But that was wrong of him! To feel uncomfortable about his lover discovering a new coping tactic... He felt guilty even as the thought crossed his mind. Ashamed. 

But he couldn't shake the feeling.

"I simply don't know what's got me set off. There's nothing wrong with them leaving early so often. We still get time together. They seem okay. So why am I so...?"

"unhinged?"

"Not the word I was looking for, but if that works..." Gaster sighed, running a hand over his face. Sans, perched on the counter nearby, leaned back and propped himself up with his palms.

"well, do you know where they're going every day? they don't seem the type to cheat, but..." He shrugged.

"Oh, no no no! They are not going out of their way to... be with someone else. They've been going to the graveyard."

Sans' eyes popped open. "what? why?"

Gaster blinked in surprise. "You mean they haven't told you?"

"told me what?!" Sans was looking put on edge by the sudden turn of conversation.

Gaster fiddled with his hands, looking uncertain. "I'm not sure it's my place to say, but... A few years ago, they had a human friend who was very close to their heart. I think it was three years ago that they fell gravely ill. Terminally ill. This friend, they... lost them."

Sans' expression softened considerably. "ah. ...things make a lot more sense now."

"Yes." Gaster let out a sigh, looking away. "The guitar they used to play? It was a gift from this friend. It was destroyed by..." He closed his eyes, letting out a strained breath. "A certain band of human beings."

"oh, well, that makes sense, then. that they'd be going to the graveyard a lot."

Gaster blinked his eyes open, giving his son a slightly confused look. Sans' expression was sad, but empathetic. He seemed to realize Gaster was lost.

"the guitar was probably a coping mechanism. made them feel closer, kind of thing. like maybe their friend was still with them every time they played. with that gone, they're probably at a loss as to how to cope with their grief and its manifesting in the desire to go to the graveyard." He explained, eyes surprisingly understanding. 

"I... hadn't realized. They didn't seem too upset about losing it, I thought..." Gaster cringed to himself, shame washing over him. "I should have been smarter than that."

"not everyone can just understand how others work, pops. it's no big deal. your human and i, we just work on a similar wavelength. you get me?" Sans shrugged, at a loss as to how to explain.

"I suppose." Gaster ran a hand across his face. "Perhaps I should talk to them?"

"sometimes that's all people need." 

 

You sat on Gaster's couch, swinging your legs idly as time crawled slowly, slowly past. You really wanted to do something. Go somewhere. Talk to someone. But Gaster was busy, sitting next to you with a clipboard in his hand as he scribbled on more, more, more paperwork. You were beginning to hate that paperwork. 

Not that Gaster would have wanted to go much of anywhere, anyway.

You glanced at the clock on the wall. A little after four. You could have groaned with frustration. Why had time slowed so much since you'd gotten out of the hospital? You scratched at your casted arm absently and took a deep breath, glad to be rid of the bandages that had restricted your side for so long. The doctor had decided you were well enough on the way to recovery for them to be off, which was a complete and utter relief.

You swung your head side to side, humming a tune under your breath as you tapped it out with your good hand. 

God, were you bored.

You let out a sigh, then got to your feet and stretched. "Welp, I'll be seeing you, Gast."

He looked up, and you thought you saw a flash of concern go across his face. "Leaving already?"

"I guess?" You shrugged, already heading for the door. "I've kind of got somewhere to be."

"Where will you be going?"

Funny. He asked as if he already knew. "To see Taylor."

"I see. Does it not... make you sad? If you are bored, we could very well do something together." 

"Nah, you're busy." 

He stood and followed you into the foyer, hands twiddling nervously. "Hardly. I always have time for you."

"Well, I mean..." You shrugged. "I've always gotta have time for Taylor. I don't want them to get lonely."

Gaster's expression was suddenly appalled. "Lonely? But, dear, they're..."

"Don't say it."

Gaster quickly shut his jaws. For a long time, silence hung in the air between you, thick as molasses. 

You grabbed the doorknob and pulled the door open without looking at him. "I'll be seeing you."

"... Goodbye, songbird." 

The door shut quietly behind you. 

 

The graveyard was empty, quiet. If you focused hard enough, though, you could feel Taylor's presence beside you.

"Sorry I'm a little late. Had a little hitch at the house for a second there. It's good to... be here. With you. Good to be able to talk to you, you know?"

If you thought hard enough, you could see them nod in agreement.

"Today was pretty standard. Gaster was being a little... weird, though. Not sure what that's about."

"Yes, you are."

You flinched at the sound of the voice at your shoulder, and when you lifted your head, there they were, just as you had been hoping, wishing, crying that would be. You broke into a desperate smile, so very, very happy to see them.

"You're here! It's been two weeks since you talked to me! I'm so happy you're here!" You clutched at your knees tighter, giving them a large smile. They didn't smile back. For some reason, it sent a cold feeling slithering up your spine. They looked almost stern. Disappointed, even. A bit sad. 

This wasn't what you wanted.

"Why do you keep coming back? You should be spending time with your friends."

Your gut rolled and clenched. "I am. I'm spending time with you."

"I mean your real friends. Doppelgänger, Sans, Papyrus. Gaster. Them. Not me."

"'Real friends?' You are my real friend. Aren't you?" Your heartbeat picked up and your smile crumbled away like loose stone into a bottomless chasm.

"Of course. I'll always be your friend. But I shouldn't be your priority. Not any more. I'm not really here, you know that. I can't be here."

"Please, don't."

"You have to move on. Let me go. If you can't do that, than at least loosen your grip on that hope."

"Please, stop."

"I'm not here. You know that. You miss me, and you're hurt and vulnerable and lost something precious to you, so you want to believe I'm still here, one way or another. But I'm not."

"Please, please, don't say it."

"I died three years ago. I'm dead."

You clasped your hand over your head, shaking and crying and sobbing and gasping for air, unable to speak through the tears pouring down your face. No, no, no! They couldn't be dead! They had to be here, with you, at your side, talking to you and making everything felt okay again because you lost the last thing that attached them to you and now you were alone, alone, alone...

They just couldn't be gone. They just couldn't. You needed them here. Didn't that mean anything?

No, no it didn't. When you could see again, you were sitting on the empty bench again, alone. You cried, cried, cried in the deathly still graveyard until the sun set and the air was set in a half-glow of what little light it left behind. You cleaned yourself up, scrubbed your cheeks free of tears, straightened your hair, smoothed your shirt, and stood on shaky legs.

You'd left your stuff at Gaster's. You would have to spend the night. He wouldn't let you walk home in the dark, not even if you had an army beside you.

He was still in the living room when you got home, head propped up in his hands as he got lost in thought. He looked up sharply when you stepped into the room.

"Hey. I'm here to grab my stuff."

"Of course." He dipped his head, thoroughly hiding the flash of worry that shone in his eyes. "You will be staying the night. You can sleep in my bed." Not even a question, more of a statement.

"Alright." You dropped your stuff, heading for the kitchen. You pulled a glass down and filled it with water. You took several large gulps as Gaster stepped in behind you.

"My dear?"

"Hm." You stared at the now empty glass, prepared to fill it again.

"This isn't... This isn't working out." 

The glass slipped from your hand, shattering loudly against the floor. 

And suddenly, you weren't in Gaster's kitchen any more. You were in your parent's kitchen three years ago, and it was summer and it was warm and the light was very yellow and creamy against the pale wallpaper.

"Your friend, Taylor... They've passed away. They're no longer with us."

And the glass you'd been holding had dropped to the floor, shattering into a million little shards as your blood was suddenly cold and heavy in your veins and your heart stopped beating and fell, heavy as lead, to your feet. 

"What? They can't be! I talked to them, today, they called me this morning, we talked for hours, they said they would see me later, they said we would go out to eat Saturday!" You had said a little louder than you needed to, whirling around to face your mother, not caring about the glass littering the floor.

"They passed away in the hospital just a little while ago. Their mother wants us to come and see them." Your mother had said, gently, sadly, for she had liked them, too.

And you were crying, crying, crying, loudly in the quiet kitchen, and your mother led you carefully out and into the living room and sat you on the couch and held you in her arms and called your father and then he was there too and you all went to the hospital and Taylor was there, eyes closed as if sleeping in the glowing white room. But they weren't sleeping. They weren't. They were...

"Okay! I get it! They're dead! They died three years! Three years ago, they died in a cold, hard hospital bed when I should have been there to see them! They died! They're dead!" You screamed, though you don't know if you said it aloud or in your head. 

You fell to your knees beside the counter, shards of glass breaking through the fabric of your pants and slipping into your skin as you wept there on the floor. How sad. How pitiful. How disgusting. Three years, and you weren't over it. Three years, and you were still grieving the same as when you first found out.

Three years, and you still weren't okay with their goodbye.

"Songbird!" Gaster cried out, hurrying to where you had suddenly collapsed in his kitchen. He fell beside you, hands on your face and eyes frantic with worry. "Are you alright? What's the matter? Are you hurt? Why are you crying?"

But you were weeping too much to speak. 

For a long time, that's all you did, sit there on the floor, side by side in the middle of a sea of glass shards, him doing his best to calm you, you crying heavily all over his sweater. Why he was trying to help you, you didn't know, considering he was breaking up with you and you were just a sad, pitiful little scrap of human existence, taking up space, breathing air you weren't worth, broken and sad because you were so incompetent.

He pulled you into his lap, pressing your head into his sternum, rubbing your back in big, sweeping circles, assuring you you were okay, everything was fine, everything was alright. At some point, he lifted you gently from the floor and into the living room, where he sat careful back on the couch, you still wrapped in his arms. It took a long time for you to calm down. He was surprisingly patient the entire time.

Eventually, you pulled away, wiping furiously at your eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, you're fine. Sometimes you just need to let it out." He soothed you quietly, fingers combing gently through your hair. Fuck, you were going to miss him.

"I'm sorry. I should have... I don't know what's wrong with me." You laid a hand across your eyes, but he gently pried it away.

"There is nothing wrong with you. You are hurt and grieving and have lost something important to you. You have every right to be upset." He cradled your face in his hands, eyes surprisingly soft and caring.

"But... But I thought you said... We weren't working out?" You felt so silly. So stupid. So pathetic. Realization flooded his eyes, quickly followed by shame.

"No, no! I was... I was referring to your visits to the graveyard. They were draining you. Drawing you further into yourself. It was worrying me." He ran a hand over your cheek, from your jaw to below you eye. 

"Oh." 

For a long time, neither of you said anything.

"I thought... I thought I saw them, Gast. In my dream. They were there. I realized just how much I missed them, and I wanted to draw them back again, have them with me, talking with me again. I wanted it so bad. But I... It was just making everything worse." You whispered out, tracing invisible patterns on his sweater. "I'll... I'll stop going back. I need to. I'm sorry. I was so stupid to think..."

"Sh, sh, you are not stupid. You're fine. You're okay. Everything will be alright, I promise." He pressed a kiss to each of your cheeks comfortingly, eyes carefully searching yours for signs of further concerns. 

"... Thank you, Gaster. I appreciate it. I'm sorry."

"Everything will be alright. I promise."


	30. That boy needs-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is a reference to something, by the way.

If Gaster had been troubled before, it was naught compared to now.

Ever since... that night (he didn't want to place a name to it- calling it an episode seemed cruel)... you had been acting oddly. Not the same odd as before, when you were visiting the graveyard, but a different kind of odd, almost the exact opposite of your usual self.

You were skittish and nervous and avoided eye contact and guarded your bag, your laptop, your phone, an odd journal you now kept, in a paranoid way, as if you had something to hide. More often than not, you were either deeply lost in troubling thoughts or 'researching something' on your laptop. You frequently left for appointments, often having to cut off Gaster's plans or proposals because you had appointments for unnamed reasons. You hardly spent a lick of time with him anymore and it bothered him.

Well, it wasn't just him you were avoiding. Doppelgänger, Sans and Papyrus were all getting the same treatment, though the only ones troubled by it were Doppelgänger and Papyrus. Sans assumed you were attempting to find another coping tactic and seemed to brush it off- but then, he hadn't really tried to get to know much more than the surface of you. Papyrus was concerned because, well, you turned down one of spaghetti-making escapades and of course that made him upset. 

Doppelgänger, however, was concerned because he knew you, and this was not you. He'd known you the longest, seen all your different methods of dealing with physical and mental problems, and this was not one in his encyclopedia. He'd pointed out to Gaster that you hated doctors, so either something was direly wrong with you or the appointments you were going to weren't for medical reasons.

Sans brought up the cheating thing again, asking his father if he wanted him to sneak a peek to wherever you were going during these appointments. While Gaster couldn't deny the thought had crossed his mind, he firmly believed you weren't and hushed Sans with a stern look.

That didn't mean he wasn't concerned. He simply trusted you enough not to spy on you, believing you'd come around and tell him what was going on eventually.

On one particular day, as he ran a new series of tests on a small tomato plant, he noticed you had been staring at your phone for much longer than was socially acceptable. Your thumb would hover over the call button, then hesitate and move away, only to return a few seconds later. You were chewing your bottom lip, and, while he normally found it either cute or... something else, the look on your face had him concerned.

He carefully edged his way over to you, then peeked over your shoulder.

Mother  
XXX-313-1568

You were thinking of calling your mother? Why, though?! Now? Of all times? Really? That was not at all what you needed!

Apparently he made a noise of disapproval, because your head snapped around to look at him, eyes wide with surprise and faint panic. You quickly turned your phone off and placed it face down on your lap, looking away as if ashamed.

"... Has she been calling you?"

"No, no!" You quickly jumped to- your? her? defense, waving your hands almost frantically. "I was- I was thinking about calling her." Even as you said it, it sounded like you knew it wasn't the best idea.

"Whatever for?" Concern flared up in Gaster again; perhaps you were looking for someone to vent your troubles to? He was more than willing to listen!

"I, um... I need money." It came out as a whisper. You cringed away, hands rubbing at your arms dejectedly.

Ah, yes, he recalled you used to sing and play at Grillby's for pocket money. While you had informed him you had a part time job and most of your college needs were already payed for, you also admitted you sometimes had trouble keeping up with other bills. 

With your guitar gone, he realized he hadn't heard you so much as hum in two months.

"What for? Perhaps I can help." He tried to talk soothingly, but he couldn't help but notice the flare of panic in your eyes as one of his hands fell on yours. He couldn't help but wince. Did you not trust him any more? What a painful thought.

"No, no, it's not important." You were quick- almost too quick- to wave him off. 

Not important, but you were willing to call your parents- the people who had driven you into insecurity before- for loose change. Before he could voice such thoughts, your phone chimed beneath your hand. 

You quickly checked it and panic became apparent on your face, and you stood and scooped up your bag before he could see what the notification said. "I've got to go, sorry, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Oh, but, I was going to ask if you wanted to go out somewhere later?" Gaster reached out a hand to stop you, but you were already at the door.

You paused beside the door, looking guilty. "Sorry. Another appointment." 

Gaster couldn't help but feel neglected, but he tried to hide it behind a vaguely disappointed smile. "Ah, I see. Is something the matter, then? Feeling ill again?"

"No, no. Nothing important." But you wouldn't meet his gaze.

"Not important, but more important than spending time with your lover?" The slightly hurt words were coming out of his mouth before he could stop them, but a small part of him refused to feel bad for it.

He held your gaze steadily, watching the guilt and shame and self loathing unfold across your face for a fraction of a second. Then you turned sharply away, pushing the door open. "Sorry, Doc. I'll see you tomorrow." 

Then, you disappeared through the door, leaving a lonely, frustrated but concerned skeleton behind.

 

"Do you have anyone else who knew them you could talk to?"

"Not really. I mean, my parents did, but, uh, like I said, my relationship with them isn't the best. There's also their mom, but... I don't want to bum her out, too."

"Any childhood friends?"

"No. I never had many friends growing up. Just them, really. For a while, I went to a private school and, since I didn't exactly meet the other kids' standards, I didn't have many friends there, and when I transferred to a public school, where everyone pretty much already knew I went to the 'school for snobs,' I was doomed to be viewed as more of an exhibit rather than a person."

"I see. How did you meet them, then?"

"Had a lot of trouble in science. Go figure, eh?"

"All right, I've got a few more questions. Are you still willing to answer? We can stop if you are upset."

"Nah, I'm okay. Shoot."

"Have you been using the journal I suggested?"

"Ah, yes."

"Is it helping at all?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure."

 

You peered at the small slip of paper in your hand, frown working its way across your face. You'd have to google up on whatever this was later, before you stopped by the pharmacy. 

"what's up with you? you've got your deep thinking face on."

You jumped at Sans' voice, guilt springing up in your stomach again. "Um, nothing. I'm alright."

Sans gave you a look that told you he didn't believe it, but didn't say any more about it. "whatever you say, pal. how've you and pops been doing?"

You couldn't help but wince, averting your gaze. "Alright. Fine. Nothing to note."

Sans hummed as if mulling over what you said, but just as he went to speak, the door to the lab opened and in stepped Gaster.

"Gaster!" You quickly blurted out, both to cut off Sans and to get Gaster's attention. Both looked at you as if questioning why you were so loud. "Um. Hey. Want to... Want to go out later? Like, for lunch or something." 

You felt awful when his gaze brightened and he smiled. It had been quite a while since you'd gone out together- or, even just hung out together. Your gut rolled over, but you tried to keep a smile on your face.

"Why, of course! Where would you like to go?" He sounded... hopeful. It sent a pang through your heart.

"How about our usual bakery? If you want."

He didn't seem to mind that you didn't hold his hand on the walk there- well, he'd always been flustered about PDAs anyway. He held the door for you, and kindly smiled at you when he sat across from you. He looked faintly confused when you declined to order anything, saying you weren't hungry.

That wasn't a lie; your stomach was in knots. If you ate anything, you must just throw up everywhere.

"Um, Gast. Listen, I really want to talk to you about something." You started, hesitantly, worriedly, reaching across the table to grab one of his hands, holding it gently between your own.

"Yes, dear?"

You winced, wanting to cry. "Listen, before I say anything, just... It's not personal. I promise. Not at all. I promise."

"Alright...?" He sounded confused now. Worried, maybe. You had sudden second thoughts.

No, this had to be it. For him.

"I just... I don't think we're going to work out. It's not you. It's me. Literally. I'm not just saying that." You couldn't look up to meet his gaze. He was very quiet. 

"Is that what you really think?" His voice was so soft- careful, almost. You could feel his eyes on you, studying you.

No! It wasn't! Not at all! You wanted to wail. But at the same time, yes. This was for him- not for you. If it was for you, you'd be with him for your entire life over. But this was about him. 

"I'm sorry." You whispered out. "There's a whole world of people better for you out there- don't dwell on me. Go out there and get someone who deserves you." 

"If that is what you really think. Just remember that I love you." And, with those soft last words, he pressed a brisk kiss to your cheek, then stood and quietly left the cafe, a thick sense of 'no hard feelings' drifting behind him in the air.

At least he was taking it well. To say you weren't would be an understatement. You waited until he was long out of sight before you burst into terrible, furious tears. You waved a waiter off as he asked if you needed help or if you were even alright. 

No, you weren't, but it was better this way- better for Gaster. That was all that mattered.

Now, to go and cash that prescription for lexapro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, shit.
> 
> This fic was originally just going to be about Gaster and Reader learning to help each other get past past mistakes and it's turned into a giant mess, hasn't it? Hope you're ready for angst.


	31. "Lie down on the couch"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You're a nut;  
> You're crazy in the coconut!"  
> That boy needs therapy.

Only a few days had passed since you cut it off with Gaster, and you felt more like garbage than you did beforehand. You hadn't heard a word from him, or anyone else, for that matter- you hadn't exactly been feeling up to going to the lab. You'd wanted to still be on friendly terms with him, but every time you thought about turning your footsteps in the direction of the lab, tears would sting behind your eyes and you knew you'd never be able to put on a mask strong enough to keep them at bay. 

And then everyone would know and they'd feel obligated to be concerned...

But, hey, at the very least, it looked like your Lexapro was ready to be picked up. Might as well pick up some vitamin D, while you're there. Dr. Polk had said it should help with your fatigue.

As you stepped out of the pharmacy, peering down at the warnings on the side of the little orange bottle, you couldn't help but frown. Would this even work? Sure, the doctors had said it should, at least a bit, but you'd been fine without medicine before. Well, as fine as... Okay, made not fine, but, hey, you got by without it before. Was it worth all this struggle? Maybe you should just give up.

Giving up on yourself seemed like a pretty good idea right about now, but the doctor told you that train of thought, while normal, was not something you should entertain. It took a lot of effort to push the thought away, and you were deep in thought as you turned to make your way home- so deep, in fact, that you quite literally ran into someone. Someone with a very hard face.

You staggered back, clutching at your nose. "Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going-"

"hey, pal. it's been a while." 

Your blood ran cold with disbelief, then sped up on its course as panic set in. Sans. "Oh. Um, hi, Sans. How's it going?"

His expression was oddly cold and closed off, eyes harshly studying- scrutinizing you. It made your skin prickle. "could be better. pops has certainly had better days."

You flinched, averting your gaze.

"so. you decided to break it off with him, huh?" Sans grin pulled wider, as if suspended by strings- it was almost menacing. "mind filling me in on that a little bit there, pal?"

Yes, you did mind. "Listen, I'd love to stand and talk, but, um... I've got a... something to get to. Uh- hey!"

Before you could react, he had snatched the bag out of your hand. "whoops." His eyes grazed over it as if he wasn't at all interested. "looks like you're not getting this back till you spill, huh, pal?" And he grinned at you again. You didn't like the look on his face. It made you more nervous than it should have.

You hesitated. Shifted on your feet. Looked away and looked back. Then, you let out a sigh, resigned to your fate. "Alright. But can we do this... at my place? I really don't want to talk about this in public."

"wise decision. whatever floats your boat." 

The walk to your apartment was very awkward. You could feel Sans' eyes on you the entire time and you hoped he hadn't noticed the darkness under your eyes or the unkempt mess of your hair. You fidgeted while you fiddled with the key in the lock. 

"You'll have to, uh, excuse the mess. I didn't really have a chance to clean up before..." You trailed off, feeling hopeless as you pushed the door open and stepped inside. 

Sans followed silently behind you as you quickly scooped up armfuls of papers and set them aside, making room for wherever he wanted to sit. When you ended up heading for the kitchen, he chose the small dining table as his place of residence. You paused awkwardly beside him.

"Um, can I have that back? I kind of need those."

He narrowed his eye sockets at you slightly, but passed the bag over after a moment. You took it and slipped past, soon lifting out the little bottle of vitamin D tablets and Lexapro. For a while, all was quiet while you read the labels.

"so, you sick or something?" 

Either he was inquiring because of the medicine or because how you looked. Neither felt good. "Or something." Yes, but not in the way he thought.

More quiet.

"ya know, i was wondering why pops had been so down the past few days and thought it was because you hadn't been coming around." He eventually drawled, obviously trying to prompt you.

You turned the bottle over in your hand, tracing the words with your thumb as your stomach turned over.

"turns out i was right, but not for the reasons i thought. so imagine my surprise when he says you said things weren't working out."

You put down the bottle of vitamin D and instead turned to the warnings on Lexapro. Dizziness? Ew.

"he tried pretty hard to make you happy, you know. if that's not your definition of trying to make things work out, i don't know what is. guess that wasn't enough for you, eh? if you ask me, it was you not putting much effort into making things work." A hollow chuckle punctuated his words. 

Because they never would have worked. Because Gaster shouldn't put so much effort into something so pointless. Because...

"but, hey, maybe i shouldn't judge. maybe humans are just inherently selfish and Frisk was an exception." 

"It wasn't because of _me _!"__

You turned and threw the little orange bottle at the far wall. It met with a sharp _CRACK _!, but did not break. A faint part of you was relieved.__

____The other part was overwhelmed and jacked up on loss of sleep and anxiety and not eating and wondering if Gaster hated you and if you should be in a mental institution and if you were even yourself anymore._ _ _ _

____"It wasn't about me, damn it! It was about him! You think I'm happier without him?! Fucking look at me, Sans! I'm a fucking wreck! But I can fucking deal with it so long as he doesn't have to!"_ _ _ _

____Your hands were trembling furiously. When had that started?_ _ _ _

____Some faint part of your out of control mind noticed that Sans looked faintly surprised. "not quite sure i follow."_ _ _ _

____Your hands curled into fists, then you threw them out sharply away from your sides. "Fucking look at me, Sans! I'm fucking broken! I've been in denial and bargaining for three fucking years and it's fucked with my head! I had God damn hallucinations, Sans! Do you really think your dad deserves to deal with the that? To have to worry about whether or not I'm gonna snap at something out of his control? To have to wonder when I'm gonna lose it next? Do you think he deserves that?!"_ _ _ _

____Your chest was heaving and you were crying. Hot, furious tears poured down your face, and through them, you could see Sans studying you. You eventually tore your gaze away and looked at the little, dented orange bottle now sitting across the room._ _ _ _

____"I just... I just don't want him to have to deal with that. Does that really make me the villain here? Good fuck, Sans, I don't even trust myself anymore. For all I know, you're not even here and I've been screaming at a figment of my imagination for the past five minutes."_ _ _ _

____You suddenly collapsed against the counter top, head falling on your arms. You were tired- so very, very tired. You were starving, but if you ate, you might just vomit. You wanted to talk to someone very, very badly, but with every word you spoke, you felt even more crazy. You wanted Taylor, but they had been dead for three years. You wanted Gaster, but he didn't deserve this._ _ _ _

____You were surprised when there was a sudden presence at your shoulder, followed by a hand resting on your shoulder comfortingly. A long, long silence._ _ _ _

____"appointments for a therapist, then."_ _ _ _

____"Yes. Several, actually. Wanted more than one opinion."_ _ _ _

____"and antidepressants, then."_ _ _ _

____"Yes. Vitamin D for fatigue, too. Doctors figured my 'hallucinations' were more triggered memories than actual hallucinations and decided to test that theory out with a simple antidepressant."_ _ _ _

____"and all the avoidance was because you didn't want us to know, then."_ _ _ _

____"Yes."_ _ _ _

____Silence, for a long, long time. He continued to rub your shoulder soothingly. You were still surprised he was being so kind about this, considering Gaster had supposedly been a mess as well._ _ _ _

____"people think and see and do crazy things when they're grieving. i should know. losing the guitar was probably the catalyst- i, uh, know about that kind of thing, too. you're fine for years, then, suddenly, one thing just throws everything off balance again. i should know. i also know that eventually that all fades away, but only when you've got the right support." He eventually said, quiet beside you._ _ _ _

____You titled your head a little to look at him. His expression was somber and surprisingly loose- he wasn't even smiling anymore. He looked almost lost in thought, as if remembering something. After a moment, his eyes slid over to meet yours._ _ _ _

____"and what've you're doing is everyone's first reaction- cutting off that support, which is a really dumb move. you don't want to burden others with the weight of your own problems, but you're not designed to carry it on your own. humans, monsters- we're both social species. we're built to rely on others of our kind, especially in times of crisis."_ _ _ _

____You looked away. He squeezed your shoulder gently, as if to draw your attention to him._ _ _ _

____"listen. we've all seen some fucked up stuff- me, pops, even Doppelgänger. we've all dealt with our own demons, for lack of a better word. pops used to be an anxiety mess. still is, in a way. if i know anything, you made him feel... better, even if he did worry about you. you made him feel more mellow, even hours after you'd been together. something about you just makes him better, as dumb as it sounds."_ _ _ _

____You buried your head in your arms, feeling awful. He continued as if sensing your self loathing._ _ _ _

____"listen, pops won't care if you're fucked up up down and sideways. well, he will, but what i mean is, it won't change the way he feels about you. he'll be concerned about it cause he cares, not out of obligation. he'll help you out because he knows how it feels. at this point, i'm pretty sure that if he had to blow up a planet to make you happy, he'd do it with no second thoughts. the guy is ridiculously head over heels for you."_ _ _ _

____You chuckled weakly into your arms._ _ _ _

____"i think you guys can still work out. if it's the mental illness thing bothering you, don't let it freak you out. it's probably not even half as bad as you think, especially if that medicine does what it's supposed to."_ _ _ _

____You went to speak, hesitated, then swallowed. "Are you saying that just to make me calm down, or do you mean it?"_ _ _ _

____"i don't tell lies, pal. it's not my thing."_ _ _ _

____You chuckled again. "Alright, but even if that's all true... Would Gaster even- I mean, want me back? And even if he did, how the fuck would I go about that? 'Hey, sorry for breaking up with you, I was pretty sure I was insane for a little while there, how about we make out and pretend this never happened?'"_ _ _ _

____Sans snorted, ruffling your hair. "listen, i'm pretty sure he wants you back. he was moaning about it all day yesterday. about how he wondered what he'd done wrong so he could go back and apologize and try again. it was kind of sad, to be honest."_ _ _ _

____"Sans, you're a dick."_ _ _ _

____"lead with your strengths." He chuckled again. "and, as for the second part, let's just say I've got an idea."_ _ _ _

____"Lord save us."_ _ _ _

____"plan 'get my dad and his weird human back together again' is a go."_ _ _ _

____"Lord save me."_ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ,,, I like Frontier Psychiatrist. It's trippy as fuck.
> 
> also I rewrote this like five times someone kill me it's still bad


	32. Trying again

"Sans, this sounds stupid. I'll make a fool of myself, not that I haven't already."

"trust me, he's a huge sucker for this shit."

"You calling it shit doesn't make me feel any better."

 

To say Gaster was a mess would be an understatement. He may have looked fine at a glance, but a long look was enough to tell he had seen better days: Dark shadows settled beneath his eye sockets, a frown seemed to permanently unsettle his features, and he looked severely downtrodden. He was disorganized, distracted, a pitiful state of what he used to be. While it had taken them a little while to realize why, Doppelgänger and Sans got the gist when, at one point, one of them mentioned you and it sent the former royal scientist to tears.

He had not wanted to seem like a kicked puppy when you seemed so... okay, for lack of a better term, so he had sucked up the sharp pang that stabbed through his soul at your words- "I don't think we're working out." He had done a surprisingly good job at keeping the wobbling out of voice when he had asked if you were sure, crushing down the rising tide of emotions when you had reiterated yourself. And he had kept his calm until he was well out of sight- in the safety of his own home, he had cried. Like a child, he had cried.

What a pathetic excuse for a former royal scientist. 

But really, he couldn't help but pine for you. You were... wonderful. You made him smile. He loved to make you smile. You made him laugh. He loved to make you laugh. You had amazing little imperfections. You had accepted all of his with a calm shrug and adoring smile. 

But then, apparently he had done something wrong! Something bad enough to drive you away! He felt terrible about it. But... What was it? What had he done to drive you away so... Okay, maybe not suddenly, but... 

Had it been his prying into your phone habits, your 'appointments'? Or had he begun to bore you? Or maybe his smothering since you got hurt? _Because _you got hurt? Because he was... a monster? An ugly, anxious, worrying...__

__He tried to shake those thoughts off. He hadn't seen you at all since the break up, so there wasn't any chance to ask or apologize anyway. Perhaps it was for the better; if he had burst into tears at the mere mention of your name, he highly doubted he could keep himself together in front of you if you were doing better than he._ _

__Whatever the case, he wasn't exactly the most chipper as he made his way down the hall several days after the break up, making his way to the lab. He was a tad later than usual, but that was alright; the worst that could happen would be that Frederick would see him feeling down and perhaps make the correlation to you not appearing for several days straight, or he would have left Sans and Doppelgänger waiting for his arrival. Whatever the case, he would face any dire consequences for it._ _

__He put a hand on the door handle and pushed it gently open, readying himself to call greetings to his son and close friend._ _

__"i finally got in contact with Y/N yesterday."_ _

__Gaster froze._ _

__"Oh, really? How're they doing? Still, well, not so great, or getting better?"_ _

__"oh, fuck no, man. they're worse. looks like they've been to the ninth ring and back again. haven't been sleeping, looks like they haven't been eating, you know, that kind of thing."_ _

__Gaster's grip on the door handle tightened and a different kind of frown found its way across his face._ _

__"Eesh. I'll have to keep closer tabs on the so they don't die or something. What'd they say? When you finally got them to talk, I mean. They haven't been answering my calls."_ _

__"apparently they didn't even want to break it off with pops. when they were going to the graveyard, they apparently thought they had visual and auditory hallucinations and freaked out about it. since, they've been going to see several psychiatrists to try and figure out what's been going on."_ _

__Well, that certainly answered several questions. Gaster suddenly felt very, very guilty. How had he not realized?_ _

__"Wait, seriously? Well. Damn. Now I feel like shit."_ _

__"yeah. apparently they didn't want us to find out and get freaked out or do the 'everything's okay' thing. good news is that their therapists think it was just a side effect of being severely depressed and now they're on some kind of antidepressant."_ _

__Gaster felt awful. What kind of lover doesn't even notice when their significant other is having a hard time? Despite himself, however, he couldn't quite crush down the small flicker of hope within him. Perhaps you would like to try again now that he knew and understood?_ _

__"Well, I suppose that's... better. Or at least, they will be soon?"_ _

__"i think so. they seemed pretty messed up when i saw them, though. seemed pretty angry that we hadn't realized the problem, too. maybe it was just me, though."_ _

__The spark of hope flickered and died. You were angry. Of course you were. What kind of lover..._ _

__"Dang. Remind me to bring them that candy they like the next time we see them. They're scary when they're pissed."_ _

__"if it means i get to see you piss yourself, no. also, don't worry about it, i think they're-"_ _

__Gaster finally found it in him to move and stepped awkwardly into the lab. Both the gray shapeshifter and skeleton lifted their heads in surprise. The shapeshifter looked guilty for having been caught talking about you, but Sans just gave him a gentle grin._ _

__"hey, pops. how's it going?"_ _

__Gaster wouldn't meet his gaze as he carefully laid his laptop on the counter. "I've... had better days."_ _

__Sans gave him a gentle pat on the back. "things'll get better, pops. trust me." He paused, then snapped his fingers as if remembering something. "oh, hey, you free tonight?"_ _

__Gaster blinked, then looked at him curiously. "I don't have any plans, no. What for?"_ _

__"some place opened up downtown that i've been meaning to check out, and it looks like something you might like."_ _

__Gaster looked uncertain. "Well, I suppose. About what time...?"_ _

__"i'll find you around 8."_ _

__"Well, alright."_ _

__As Gaster turned and began leafing through a folder, he failed to notice the look Doppelgänger and Sans shared behind his back._ _

__

__Gaster was beginning to have second thoughts._ _

__The place Sans and Doppelgänger had led him to looked like a dive. A bar. A club, almost. Not the sort of thing he was into, at least from the outside. Upon walking hesitantly inside, he was greeted with a dimly lit bar, illuminated by lights of maroon and burgundy. On the far wall was a small stage, occupied by a ragtag band, though dominated by a piano. To the right was a bad, a few seats at which were taken. The scattered tables had quite a few handfuls of people- and, surprisingly, monsters- littering them._ _

__Whoever was on the stage was obviously just there to fill the place with a murmur of noise; they weren't very good at what they were doing. Despite, Gaster felt a tug. The scene almost reminded him of those nights at Grillby's, when you would wander about, singing and playing wonderfully in the calm and mellow atmosphere..._ _

__"Sans..." Gaster started, but he was cut off when Sans gave him a gentle push to one of the open tables at the back of the room._ _

__"c'mon, pops. give it a chance. i've heard their jazz group is pretty good."_ _

__And so they all say at the small booth, though Doppelgänger was looking uncomfortable as well. Too late, Gaster realized he had never been fond of crowds- growing up with a fear that touching anyone will result in terrible things can do bad things to someone's socialization skills._ _

__For a while, they sat there, listening to the small band play, drinking either water or sipping from tall glasses of beer. Gaster was contemplating getting up and excusing himself to go home when there was a faint disturbance on the stage. All the players had drawn their last song to a close and were now murmuring among themselves quietly._ _

__The head of the group- a guitar player- stepped up and tapped a mic. "Hey there, folks. We hope you're enjoying the show. In case you don't know, this is the part of the night where we have people come up and sing for us a song of their choice. We hope you enjoy." And, with that, he quietly stepped away again and directed his attention to a curtain on his right._ _

__Just then, Sans slipped out of the booth to go and grab a drink from the bar. Doppelgänger was seemingly dozing, head propped up in his hand as he leaned over the table._ _

__Gaster's attention was drawn back to the stage as the curtain twitched, and, to his shock, out from behind it came you. His nonexistent heart jumped to his throat._ _

__You looked absolutely lovely, despite the faint shadows beneath your eyes and the nervous expression on your face. Your clothes- the form, the color- suited you nicely, brought out the glow of your skin and the halo of your hair as it caught the light. It made his nonexistent heart race as you stepped up the mic and adjusted it to your height. You looked... wonderful._ _

__Apparently he wasn't the only one that thought so. As you had come out and walked to the front of the stage, a chorus of praise and whistles rose from the crowd around him. He couldn't help but bristle slightly. How dare they!_ _

__You eyes scanned the crowd as you shifted on your feet. "Uh, hey there, folks. How's it going?"_ _

__The crowd murmured greetings. One voice, louder than the others, called out: "I seem to have lost my number! Can I have yours?"_ _

__Gaster prickled, and had to remind himself you weren't his any more._ _

__You flushed pinker, averting your gaze as you tugged at your collar distractedly. "Aha, sorry, pal." You cleared your throat. "I'm, uh, already spoken for." You seemed to pause. Gaster felt a twinge, and debated getting up and leaving before you noticed him. "Or, at least, I... was. What I'm trying to say is I hope I still am."_ _

__Gaster blinked, then felt that kindling of hope flicker to life in him again. Could you be referring to him, by some slim chance?_ _

__"Thing is, I, um, broke up with the guy that stole my heart a few days ago because I was... afraid of myself. I wanted to protect him, but... I think I was going about it all wrong. And, well, I'd like to give it another shot to be what he was to me."_ _

__His soul fluttered in his rib cage. There was a murmur of coos from the crowd._ _

__"I'm, um, actually doing this for him. So... If he's out there, and he's listening, and he'd like to give me another chance, then, uh, I'll be at the bar when this little show is over." You gave a meek grin, looking sheepish and nervous and filled with self loathing._ _

__Gaster couldn't believe what he was hearing. If he hadn't been caught quite so off guard, he might have leapt up there to reclaim you before you were so much as finished. As it was, he sat there, staring at you like you were more of a mirage then a real, living, breathing person. The crowd clapped and cooed around him_ _

__You cleared your throat, adjusting the mic again. "It's, uh, it's been a while since I've done anything like this. I won't be held accountable for any bleeding ears that may or may not occur inside this establishment." You gave a wry grin, and the crowd rustled with chuckles and claps of encouragement._ _

__You turned to murmur something to the piano player behind you and he nodded. You took a deep breath, then turned back to the microphone as the pianist began to play._ _

___" _Wise men say,__  
Only fools rush in.  
But I can't help falling in love with you.  
Shall I stay?  
Would it be a sin?  
If I can't help falling in love with you. _"_

____The crowd apparently approved of your song choice, as they murmured and their expressions brightened as you began singing. A few seemed even excited at the choice, and Gaster caught a few of them whispering something along the lines of 'Like something right out of a romance!'_ _ _ _

_______" _Like a river flows,__  
Surely to the sea,  
Darling so it goes,  
Some things are meant to be.  
Take my hand,  
Take my whole life too.  
For I can't help falling in love with you. _"_

______You had closed your eyes so as to not have to look at the crowd, cheeks seemingly permanently pink. Gaster's soul fluttered furiously in his ribcage. It had been so long since you'd sang- and now, it was for him, in an attempt to mend a mistake made out of love._ _ _ _ _ _

___________" _Like a river flows,__  
Surely to the sea,  
Darling so it goes,  
Some things are meant to be.  
Take my hand,  
Take my whole life too.  
For I can't help falling in love with you.  
For I can't help falling in love with you. _"_

________The crowd cheered and clapped loudly as the piano faded out and you drew away from the microphone. You opened your eyes and gave a small, tired smile to them, giving them a little bow and a "Thanks, you're too kind" before slipping off the stage and quickly over to the bar, where you quickly ordered something to drink._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Gaster quickly slid out of his seat, not quite noticing his grinning son watching nearby as he headed carefully for the bar. He hesitated behind you, then sat quietly beside you. You were swirling a shot glass in your hand, looking like you were regretting every life choice you ever made._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Sans, I don't think-" You lifted your head to look at him, and flinched in surprise, shock clear on your face. "G-Gaster! You- you're actually here." And you blinked at him, as if both not believing he was actually there and fearful of rejection. "So. Um. Did you, uh... hear all of that?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He nodded once. "Yes." He paused. "Did you really mean that? That you would like to try again?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You looked almost ashamed and averted your gaze. "Of course, Gast. I mean, I did say you stole my heart, didn't I?" You chuckled, but it sounded nervous and hollow. "You're just... wonderful, you know that? You just make me feel glad to be alive. You make me feel like everything is okay. But, you know... I get it, if you don't want to try again. I've been difficult and stupid without so much as giving you a reason-" He cut you off by placing a hand on yours._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I don't want to try again. I'd much rather pick up where we left off."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You looked almost confused for a moment, then your expression lit up like he'd never seen before- relieved, embarrassed, ecstatic all at once. You began to laugh breathlessly, and he noticed the shine of tears in your eyes. "Oh my god. Oh, my god. You have no idea how happy that makes me. Seriously. Thank you. I'm sorry. I've been a huge idiot and you don't deserve any of that-"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Hush, now." He planted a quick kiss to your cheek. "I won't have any of that. How about we both promise to be better this time, hm?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You chuckled, wiping away a stray tear as your cheeks flushed. "Alright. I... I love you, Gast."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"And I love you, songbird." He carefully ran a hand over one of your cheeks, heart swelling with emotions he didn't care to tame- disbelief, happiness, adoration, relief, all tumbling about and colliding into each other in a giant mess of emotions._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You were both drawn sharply back to reality when the crowd roared with applause, and, upon looking up, you realized it was directed at you. You quickly flushed 99 shades of red and hid behind your hands. Gaster, while equally flushed, chuckled and drew you into his chest so as to hide you. The crowd only cheered louder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________No one noticed the gray shapeshifter and grinning skeleton share a high-five._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it sucks I apologize I'm very tired tbh


	33. Coming to Terms

Time passed. A few months, at the very least, had gone by since you and Gaster had gotten back together, and you were back to yourself- perhaps even better. The same could be said of your relationship. Gaster was working on a little something for you, but in the mean time, you had invited him to your apartment for the evening. 

When he got there, you didn't answer the door, so he assumed you were busy and went ahead inside. Music was playing, and he could hear you humming along from somewhere inside. He found you in the kitchen, now singing under your breath.

"Someone help me understand what's going on inside my mind;  
Doctor, I can't tell if I'm not me!"

You swooned dramatically as the music swelled, and Gaster chuckled. You turned and gave him a smile, sashaying your way over. 

"Hey, Gast. Glad you could make it. Part of me was afraid you'd chicken out on me." You grabbed his hands and dragged him into a half hearted dance as a new song began to play through the speakers, mostly just swinging about in circles around the small kitchen. While he certainly wasn't the best of improv dancers, he tried to fall into step beside you.

"Oh?" He smiled as you dipped back, then twirled back into him.

"I mean, since this is kinda like our first 'date' since, you know, all of that. My little freak outs." You laughed, giving one of his hands a reassuring squeeze. "Also, you know, the other thing."

Ah, right, you had told him you inviting over someone else, but at the time you hadn't said if you were sure they could show up, and hadn't given much more detail than that. Apparently they could. "Who is it that you invited?" 

You gave him a look of surprise, hands slipping from his as you turned back to the pan on the stove. Something was simmering. "I didn't tell you? Eesh, feel free to slap me, I should have told you and I forgot. I, um, I invited my parents." You gave him a sheepish smile. "Um, feel free to bail now. I'd, you know, I'd understand."

He instantly felt a rush of... something (protectiveness, maybe?) that his magic prickle uneasily. "Why on earth have you invited them, of all people? When they make you so... unhappy."

You shrugged, putting a lid on a pan and turning off the flame below it. "Well, I mean, sure, but that's only when I'm actually worried about their opinion. Besides, they are my parents. We used to be pretty close to okay, but ever since, you know, all that, three years ago, they kind of turned worse. Or maybe I was just more tolerant of it back then."

You shrugged again, spinning around to open the fridge and pulling out a bottle of wine, surprisingly enough. You swept past him and into your small dining room, putting the bottle of wine next to the small basket of flowers sitting there. He noted that your place had been getting increasingly tidier ever since you had gotten your medicine. You'd reminded him that the medicine was a crutch, not a cure- it just made it easier to function, you had said. Easier, not fixed.

"Besides," you breathed out as you slipped past him again, "I do have something to tell them that's kind of important, but I wanted to tell you, as well, so, hey, killing two birds with one stone, eh?" And you gave him a bright smile, which he found himself returning it despite himself. "I mean, if you want to go, that's fine, but they'll be here any minute so, um, you'd have to go now otherwise they'd take it as us having done something questionable before they arrived." You laughed, running a hand through your hair as you averted your gaze. He felt a blush come to his cheeks and pushed embarrassed thoughts away.

"I won't be going anywhere. Though you've now got me curious as to what this news is if has driven you to contact them." He watched you struggle to reach a serving plate, chuckling as you began to lift yourself onto the counter to reach it. He put a hand on your shoulder, then leaned up and grabbed it himself. You gave him an embarrassed smile, gesturing for him to place it on the counter.

"Curious, or nosy?"

"Curiosity is in a scientists nature. I was sure you'd known this already." 

You scoffed, but laughed as you scooped whatever you'd cooked onto the plate, then lifted it and placed it on the dining room table. Just then, there was a knock on the door. A look of panic flashed across your face briefly, and Gaster almost jumped to your defense to say he could escort them out if you were having second thoughts.

"Shoot! I haven't even finished plating everything yet." You slapped a hand across your face. "Well, fuck it. They'll just have to live with it." With that, you flew out of the room and to the door. Gaster was quick to follow you, close at your shoulder as you put a hand on the doorknob.

You swung it open. And, yes, behind it was your parents, both looking disgruntled in their fine clothes. Confusion flashed in their eyes at your causal attire, then disgruntlement again as their eyes fell upon Gaster. Despite the urge to return the look, he tried to keep his expression relaxed.

"Hey, Ma. Hey, Dad. Come on in." You stepped aside to open the doorway, and, hesitantly, in came your parents, casting an unimpressed glance around. "Nice, uh, clothes." You snorted. "Making me feel like I'm under dressed here."

"Well, of course." Your mother was quick to jump to their defense, perhaps too quick. "We assumed we were only meeting here and that we would be going to a more... suitable location to eat and talk. Imagine our surprise when you weren't waiting outside." 

"I did say 'dinner at my place.' I've been getting better at cooking. I hope you're not disappointed, at the very least." You chuckled, shrugging. Gaster thought he saw some tension in your shoulders. "Here, let me take your coat."

Your parents stood awkwardly in the living room, looking uneasily around. You edged closer to the kitchen.

"Hey, I gotta finish some stuff up. Feel free to sit or look around or whatever. You, too, Gast." You gave him a reassuring smile, disappearing around the corner a moment later. Leaving him alone.

Alone with them, anyway.

Your mother sat carefully of the sofa, smoothing her skirt in an almost nervous way. He supposed this wasn't her for forte. Your father, however, took the opportunity to stride up to the mantle below your tv, picking up one of the framed pictures placed there. 

Gaster came up behind him to see which it was. He smiled, pleasantly surprised. It was one of you, Sans, and Papyrus, one Doppelgänger had taken without anyone noticing. You were all covered in pasta sauce, you caught mid-laugh, Sans winking just in the time for the camera (presumably for pun-effect) from his spot on the counter, Papyrus crossing his arms despite the grin on his face. 

"My boys." Gaster said, causing your father to jump and give him a look over his shoulder. He pointed as politely as he could. "Papyrus and Sans."

Your father turned back to the picture, studying it a moment more before placing it beside all the others. One of you and Doppelgänger, making faces at the camera. One of Doppelgänger, giving the apparently surprise camera a glare. One, to Gaster's surprise, of himself in the lab, apparently unaware of the camera as you grinned in the corner of the frame, winking at the camera. He couldn't help but smile at it. 

Scattered in amongst the many, many monster pictures were a few of you and your fellow humans, mostly of you and Taylor, one or two of your parents.

"You like those? I'm constantly putting up new ones. There's more on the bookshelf." You suddenly said at his shoulder, giving him a somewhat teasing grin. He jumped, fumbling with his hands briefly. He caught your father looking at him in an almost scoffing way and tried to ignore it.

You turned and clapped your hands, giving the room a sweeping glance. "Well! Foods ready. And it will be there whenever you're ready for it." 

Your mother quickly got to her feet as you led the way into the small dining room, the table already set. Gaster felt a flash of guilt. He should have helped you with that. At the very least, he pulled out your chair for you, which made you chuckle, before sitting beside you. Your parents hesitantly sat opposite of you.

You propped your elbows up on the table, seemingly waiting. Nobody moved. You laughed under your breath, gesturing broadly to the food laid out. You eyed your father as you flicked the bottle of wine.

"Come on, give me some credit here. I didn't exactly get the cheapest thing in the store. For my sake, someone drink it." 

After a few more awkward moments, everyone had food and your father was skeptically eyeing the wine bottle. For a while, not much was said as everyone picked at their food.

"So, what do you think? Absolute garbage, or are Papyrus' lessons finally paying off?" You grinned, eyeing the table carefully.

Gaster laughed. "I think it's lovely."

"Well, thank your son, not me. Several months ago, I was living purely on coffee and cheap, instant dinners." You gave him a lopsided grin, eyes surprisingly soft. He placed a hand gently on one of yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

"You told us you had news." Your mother coughed out, rather harshly, and Gaster refrained from sighing aloud.

"Oh, you didn't realize? The news was that my cooking skills have improved." You blinked at her innocently, and Gaster snorted into his glass of water. You elbowed him, grinning cheekily.

Your father scoffed lightly, looking exasperated. 

"Hey, news can wait. Can't I just have a moment to catch up with my folks?" You rested your head on your propped up hands, surveying them with a grin that nearly hid the sharp look in your eyes. Your parents fell silent.

 

"Come on, let's sit and relax for a bit. I know you don't have any plans after this, so why not take a minute?" 

You flicked through a small stack of CDs briefly as your parents sat unhappily on the couch, arms crossed. You picked one up with a smile and slid it into a CD player and pushed a button. For a while, nothing came out. Then, the sound of a piano gradually filled the air. You stood there, listening to it silently for a moment, then turned to Gaster with a smile and held out your hand.

"Come on, Gast. I may have two left feet, but I've seen how you can dance in the lab when you think no one is looking." 

He flushed, embarrassed- how had he not realized someone was watching him?! He always tried to be so careful about it!-, but took your hand and put his other on your shoulder. You scoffed lightly at the careful gesture, but returned it, allowing him to take the lead as you seemed to carefully mimic his movements. He chuckled gently when you glanced down to make sure you weren't stepping on his feet, which you responded to by making a face at him. You were smiling all the while.

Your parents shifted on the sofa. 

"Do you remember this?" You turned to look at them over your shoulder. "This was Taylor's recital."

Your mother nodded. Your father was flipping through one of your calculus books, avoiding eye contact. Gaster watched you carefully for any hidden tears or feigned grins, but you seemed to be doing okay. For now.

"Well, come on. What is it that you want to tell us?" Your father grumbled after a time, fidgeting in his seat.

"Oh, that?" You spun away from Gaster, barely holding his hand by the fingertips. "I'll be changing majors when school starts up again next year. Or, you know, maybe just not come back at all."

Gaster forgot to pull you back to him, instead allowing you to drop his hand as you stood upright again. Your parents blinked at you dumbly, though Gaster was sure he didn't look much better.

"Changing majors?" He repeated, feeling incredibly lost. When...?

"Yep." You dusted off your pants absently, turning and ejecting the cd from the machine. 

"What on earth are you on about now? Changing to /what/?" Your father barked, sitting upright. Your mother looked at Gaster as if he might have something to do with it.

"Maybe psychology. Or something of the sort. Not to become a psychiatrist or whatever, mostly just to know. I'd like to know what's going on inside my head, why I feel what I feel." You shrugged as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "That is, if I even decide to come back. I might just give up and be a regular joe like the rest of the world."

"Why on earth would you want to change your majors? You've been at them for three years!" Your mother didn't even sound angry. Mostly indignant.

"Two and a half, actually. Mostly because of certain recent events. Partly because I've come to terms with the fact that I suck at bioscience and I'll never achieve what I set out to do in the first place. Best to leave that to the big dogs." You leaned against the wall, arms loosely crossed. 

Gaster had several questions of his own. Before he could speak, however, your mother beat him to it.

"Certain recent events that may be...?"

"Turns out I've been chronically depressed for the past three years. A few months ago, I had an episode and decided to see a therapist once and for all. Now that I'm on antidepressants, I've been doing a lot better, in case you couldn't tell." Gaster came up and gave your hand a squeeze. When you returned it, your mother narrowed her eyes at Gaster as if he was to blame. Your father scoffed.

"But... What of coming to the lab? What of your studies? What of your degree? What of... all of that?" Gaster fumbled briefly with your fingers, attempting to make sense of the situation.

"Oh, I could still come by the lab. Don't tell anyone, but there are a ton of ways to sneak in there without anyone knowing. Besides, we do have Sans." You flashed him a sly grin, taking one of his hands in both of yours. "Besides, if I just quit altogether, that'd mean I have even more free time to hang out with you guys! If you're worried about change in routine, don't. I've thought about this a lot, believe me. Not a lot would change, really."

"No child of mine is 'quitting' college!" Your father blustered, looking both angry and uncertain at the same time.

"Do you really get to decide that?" You turned and met his gaze, looking tired of the conversation.

"This is that skeleton's doing, isn't it?!" He shifted his gaze to Gaster, making the doctor blink in surprise. 

You quickly dropped his hands and moved in front of him, crossing your arms. "Are you kidding me right now? Are you seriously pulling the 'blame the boyfriend' thing on me? Seriously?" You shook your head. "I was really hoping, for once in your lives, you would just accept the way I decided to live my life without butting in and getting involved with it, but for gods sake, you just can't manage it, can you? Im happy with Gaster. He makes me happy. I love this guy to bits. If I get hurt from that, god damn, it'll be worth it, but that'll be my fault and I'm ready to deal with that. Don't go putting your nose where it doesn't belong. For once. Please. Im tired of it."

Silence. Long, long silence. Your mother grabbed your father's arm and pulled him to his feet and out the door.

"Where are we going?!"

"Home. Goodnight, dear. Goodnight... Gaster."

The door shut loudly behind them. Gaster stared at it, half expecting them to come hurtling back in. After a moment, you chuckled hind him. 

"Knew that would win her over. No matter what she says, she's a sucker for cheesy stuff like that." He turned to look at you, watching you run a hand over your face as your strong, outer resolve dissolved to be replaced by a very tired and stressed look. You peaked out at him from behind your fingers. "Sorry. For all of that. Jumping the news on you. Him. Everything. That was a mess."

You sat on the couch. He sat carefully beside you, taking one of your hands in his. "... Thank you."

You looked at him curiously. "For what?"

"All of that. I'm happy to see you taking steps toward a happier future. I think quitting the science scene is a big part of that." He ran his thumb gently over the back of your hand, worried over his choice of words.

"I suppose. I think my dads going to disown me, though." You chuckled, looking away. "Do you think my act fooled them?"

"... Act?"

"I was putting on a facade the whole time. You didn't notice? I was nervous out of my wits the entire time. Part of me just wanted to be put out my misery." You laughed, slouching against the sofa. 

Gaster chuckled, allowing you to lean against him. "Well, I'm sure they were fooled. I hardly noticed, for one."

"That's what I was hoping for. Maybe I should consider being an actor." Gaster snorted, breaking into a chuckle when you elbowed him for it. 

"So... You love me, then?" He teased, making you snort this time.

"Uh, duh. Old news, old man. I thought you knew that like, ages ago. Or is your memory slipping in your old age?" You scoffed right back, looking at him from the corner of your eye.

"How rude!"

"Rude this, old man!"

"Children these days."

"Says the old man who's son puts whoopee cushions literally everywhere."

"Says the person dating said old man."

"Says the old man dating said person."

"Are we going to be stuck doing this all night?"

"You tell me. ... Old man."

"Oh, stop that right now!"

You stuck out your tongue at him, using the opportunity to shift so you could lie in his lap. For a while, he looked down at you as if conflicted. 

"... Are you sure? About... The college thing."

"God, I've been thinking about it forever. I guess my little breakdown was just the extra push I needed to finally get off my sorry ass and just say 'Yeah, okay, I'm done with this shit.'"

Gaster snorted. "Be serious."

"I am." You sighed, closing your eyes. "Trust me when I say I want to just give up on it. It's not worth it. I suppose money income in the future is something, but I don't care. I just don't think sticking with it just because I'm already this far into it is the wisest choice. Maybe I'll try something new, maybe I won't."

"Whatever you decide to do, I'll be right here."

You cracked one eye open and smiled at him.

Everything would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeez, this story is long as fuck. Did you know I originally only planned it to be less than twenty chapters long??? But, alas. The end fast approaches. ;)


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